Am I flatlining?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself, May 17, 2019.

  1. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    I have to wonder. I did a reboot last year and a lot of streaks.

    But now I'm on a Day 5, and I feel so indifferent about everything.

    Should I exercise? Who cares?

    Yoga? What's it matter?

    Dinner? Eat whatever.

    Go out? Nah watch a movie.

    On and on like this.

    Last year, I had a zeal for life, and it was profound!!

    It was the first time I ever felt that way, and I loved it.

    I cranked up heavy metal music and jammed out.

    I woke up at 5:30 am and took cold showers.

    I drove around town at high speeds, dodging traffic.

    After checking out at the store, I always parked in the back of the lot,

    and ran to my car, just for the heck of it.

    I was always thinking about jokes and coming up with funny lines.

    Sometimes I came up with spontaneous humor,

    or I just could recall a situation and think of a good line.

    But now, the world is all shades of gray.

    Nothing really matters anymore, and life is vapid.

    I wanted to become a musician and write books.

    Women hate me, they only seem to care if I make money,

    and nothing I do is ever good enough.

    Most of the time I'm isolated.

    I have some family, but they started to get toxic,

    and my friends, who were few in number,

    now act as though I no longer exist after moving 3 hours away.

    I want to extend my time on this streak,

    but I am perplexed as to how it might help me.

    If I died right now, and fell into a deep lake or river,

    and sank to the bottom, nobody would even start to

    investigate where I was for about one solid month, minimum.

    If I paid some of my bills in advance, I could vanish

    undetected for 90 days at least. If i drove far away,

    and junked my car somewhere,

    there is a good chance nobody would ever know what happened to me.

    So it's hard to be motivated to reach my goals in life,

    when money is the only thing that could be the reward.

    Money is crap.

    Guys that reboot for money are going to get what they deserve.

    They will get the money,

    but what comes with the money is a plethora of traps,

    problems, intelligent scammers, and time wasters around

    every corner.

    The women will also come with a reboot and/or money.

    These women look hot, and they are largely illiterate.

    They can't spell the word "God", they think rap music is beautiful,

    and if their pedicure guy is sick, they wring their hands.

    I'm stuck.

    Life just hardly seems worth anything, now or later.
     
  2. Paradise_07

    Paradise_07 Fapstronaut

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    I personally don’t think we will ever get a perfect life. And when we fall we are reminded we are only human. Because no matter what our goal for what we call perfection isn’t perfection but constant growing and evaluating ourselves to be a better us.
     
  3. saurabgangul

    saurabgangul Fapstronaut

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    With Gray shades on u will see everything as gray. Wait this shall pass too make sure everything is balanced ur diet u must do yoga meditation and any other hobbies take rest while are in this flatline.
     
  4. saurabgangul

    saurabgangul Fapstronaut

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    Depends what perfection is for you. Perfection is a relative term.
     
  5. Paradise_07

    Paradise_07 Fapstronaut

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    True, everyone has a different definition of success
     

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