This is gonna be a long post so fair enough if you dont wanna read it. Ill start with a bit of backstory. Ever since i was a young age i had been obsessed with women and their bodies, from the age of 8 i would search of actresses naked and boos etc. on google. When I turned about 10-11 i found the lands of pornhub where i would spend days watching things then eventually within a week or two i started masturbating. And it was great, it was always to the girl and I watched an awful lot of lesbian, big boobed, big ass and so on and didnt take much notice of the man or the penis even though i knew it was there. Skip forward 4-5 years (now) i was still watching porn then poof, the question am I gay? or what if im gay? I should probably mention i experienced this for about a week almost a year back now but never really made a difference to my day to day life as it would i only hit at night times. I naturally quit porn and didnt watch again till i was scared that i wasnt getting an erection (must have been flatlining but had no clue was it was). I started watching again and within a couple weeks lockdown came along and the question came back. But this time all day, every day and feeling so real as if i want it so bad. It started off purely sexually and did my research and its most likely HOCD (i hope). I tried my best to quit it and after a couple of weeks I did. The thing that concerns me is i never got into gay porn. I watched a couple times, it didnt turn me on until the last time i tested myself on it when i think i got a boner but i cant completely remember. Now the sexual thoughts have mostly gone but it feels more real and emotional now. Ive seen posts where porn turned people gay and wanted to know if thats true? My mind tries to find every excuse to be gay. For example, i could be first gay person in youre family, it would be funnier, i would rather be my girlfriends gay bestfriend and that i would rather be with a man and have a family with him and so on. Its making me think this is what i want and now i dont even see a future with a girl when thats all i wanted a couple months ago. It seems more real and convincing than before. I dont want to be gay now but i fear i am in-denial. My thoughts make me feel that being with my girlfriend has made me realise even though our relationship was perfect until this came along, now i feel i should leave her. These thoughts make me feel that i am in love and have a crush on every man i see no matter how old or young they are. I should mention I am only 15 and havent seen many people experience this at a young age. I never got into gay porn like others did but I did love lesbian porn AN AWFUL LOT. I started pubity from such a young age, i think about 9 but my thoughts are making me think that porn has stopped my natural attraction, and that im pinned to being straight. I want to be straight cause ive only ever had crushes on girls. It feels like i dont even like girls now and makes me not even love them or their bodies, and maybe that im bored of them. I used to be obsessed with girls but now that these gay thoughts are here its as if i dont care. My mind makes me think i want to be gay as if i actually like it alot. It makes me feel i want to kiss all men, hug etc. I wouldnt care if i was gay and i know id be excepted but everytime i am around my family or girlfriend i feel i need to come out. I feel closeted. Am I gay? Im sure theres stuff ive missed out but im just scared and i feel so god damn gay and as if i like and want it. I cant see a future with a woman and i just want that back.