Am I imagining things

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by LifeHappens, Oct 12, 2021.

  1. LifeHappens

    LifeHappens Fapstronaut

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    My husband should be in recovery. I found a tiny piece of toilet paper this morning in bed, it had a light brown color and smelled tangy just like cum. I found the exact same kind over a month ago and questioned my husband. He was adamant he had not relapsed and said he had no idea what that was then. Could there be another explanation to this piece of tissue that has this very specific smell ? What’s the point of asking him if he’s going to lie to me again anyways... :(
     
    +TenPercent and modern milarepa like this.
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    You can't have a relationship without trust.
    If you are a woman that can be trusted, then move on and find a man you can trust. Don't waist time with people that make you feel this way.
    You should be dating a guy that make you feel amazing.. not like this. I'd better be alone because I value myself, if you also do then move on.
     
  3. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    What are your boundaries for a relapse? For lying? You enact your boundary. You do not ask him if he’s relapsed. You know he has. If a relapse means separation/divorce then you move forward with that. If you have seen huge clear changes in recovery then perhaps sit down and discuss his relapse. Don’t ask, you tell him you know. When he denies, you tell him you know, when he asks how, you say you just do. Let’s be real here, you know when he’s relapsed and you know he lies. You feel it in your gut. Forget about him for a moment, what do you want? What do you want to do?
     
    Faceplanter likes this.
  4. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    It's suspicious the paper has to come from somewhere. If he just said he doesn't know where it comes from then he's lying unless more people live in the house.
     
  5. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Being the smartass that I am I'd said "ya know that toilet paper fairy could have come around when there was no toilet paper on the shelves at the store when covid hit" I agree. Unless you put it there he did. When you add up all of the red flags, how many do you have?
     
  6. goodtimesahead

    goodtimesahead Fapstronaut

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    whats it like between the two of you intimately?
    you will know when things are not quite right.
     
  7. LifeHappens

    LifeHappens Fapstronaut

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    2 month ago this happened wow, I’ve been up and down between anxiety with red flags and bad guy feelings and then hopeful and maybe numb. The usual. Intimately it hasn’t really changed much, I never know know. So it is what it is. May start a journal again to get support as I feel utterly alone in this.
    Not going to leave this relationship so need to fond a way to find peace in this and find happiness outside of the relationship (not an affair lol)
    It’s sad to see that so many women have to go through this. What life is this
     
    kropo82, RUNDMC and hope4healing like this.
  8. goodtimesahead

    goodtimesahead Fapstronaut

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    you wont know but pied tells a lot.
    maybe find stuff to do that you like and focus on that.
    time will tell. but one thing is for sure, he wont change for you. he has to change for himself.
     

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