Am I porn addicted even? Is my problem physical or psychological?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by zenon27, Jun 25, 2016.

  1. zenon27

    zenon27 Fapstronaut

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    I have a girlfriend my first girlfriend long distance. We see each other every 3 months.

    My worries are the following

    I can't say if I have a physical or psychological issue regarding my dick and me.
    Looking at normal porn, it doesn't give me an auto-boner. I am 28 years old also.
    Maybe it did in the past but not anymore, I can't remember I watched it for over a decade.

    For most of my life I felt my body was dead, I didn't get a boner on the streets either.
    The i got my first girlfriend and I kissed her hand, boom got 75% erect, then later holding her hand, boom got 100% erect, I didn't feel shy, I mean i felt like a kid somehow because she was my first girlfriend, but it felt right so i shared my news with her, I also walked like a clown for a while, it was happy times xD

    I look back and ask myself what made me get that responds. I got them at least 3 times, the reason I question this is because I didn't fantasize fucking her while with her, I was not in my head visualizing fucking her or undressing her, I do that at home when alone but while with her, I am mostly outside my head. Never really fantasizing anything sexual.

    What triggered my gear, that felt dead for most of his life to move in such way.
    Sometimes from kissing her lips multiple times, my friends starts to move, one time from desire to touch her breasts across her cloth, my friend got fully erect even before touching them perky things.

    I know it may sound weird to ask this, but
    my question is, does auto-erection confirm psychological respond for there was no body skin or hand stimulation while we walk and she hold my hand?
    I was just looking at her face, and boom, it happened. It felt nice, it also feels like I become different in some way. Like this boners make the atmosphere feel different around us for a moment. One time i got it in the car with her, I told her how beautiful she is and how i don't say it enough, and she looked at me and say, Thank you. I got hard, but i wasn't thinking anything sexual.

    Also I'm also very sensual, seeing her naked doesn't trigger my gear, just visual don't do it for me, I need permission to touch and being she is my GF i have that, and that is what triggers me. Touch, sensual.

    so what is all this.
    I have to note that I did edge for hours once before seeing her once, i was addicted to that, i escalate 3 days before seeing her, I felt down about it. I realize that i didn't get this same effect with her anymore, like holding hands getting auto-erection, I mean i got just from kissing her lips but it was spontaneous, if i started to focus on erection it would never happen. My erection were hella weaker also, and i started to see lack of Morning Wood also.
     
  2. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    I don't get stimulated by porn like I did when I was younger even though I didn't beat off to it or watch it, but back then before I "looked at porn" looking at a playboy would get me crazy hard. Now I guess I'm desensitized, and unless something really tickles my fancy porn won't make me hard unless I really look at it with intent, and that is basically me mentally giving myself a boner. Porn and real life women don't turn me on like they did when I was young due to that excitement and wonder no longer being there.

    On the plus side unlike a lot of guys here I don't really have to worry about triggers all that much.
     
  3. Noel_z

    Noel_z Fapstronaut

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    Im 33 now and I went through something similar some years ago. I was very into a girl and wanted something meaningful with her. Im not sure if this is your case, but I remember this girl being more interested in having sex. I would get hard while making out, holding hands, and the very thought of seeing her for a date. When it finally came down to having sex I had ED (I know this is not your case). I'm not sure if it was performance anxiety o P induced. After a couple weeks, maybe a month, I felt more comfortable around her and could perform.

    I guess the point i'm trying to make is, when we are younger we are hornier and get aroused more easily, and as we get older (some of us) start losing that drive and prioritizing other things in a relationship.
     
  4. zenon27

    zenon27 Fapstronaut

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    I have to kinda relate to what you said.
    I can remember my first time just touching her hand, looking at her, gave me a respond.

    I always wanted somebody with which I can have something meaningful.
    But the thing with me is that just having her naked next to me feels just about as great as sex if not even greater, rubbing next to each other,
    somehow its like a drug that never goes away.

    I like her with me, in my hand reach.
    But I also realize that I'm very dominant person, while very gentle with her, I've yet to have it in me to showcase my dominant nature because in my mind that triggers me most. The longer I stay away PMO the more I realize this.

    Very gentle to her touch, gentle in foreplay but when my confidence kicks in I'm nobody timid let alone submissive so I crave dominance which is co-connected to my confidence.

    I had to mention this to her, because I also had sexually anxiety, but this is because I was repressing my dominant masculine side of me. That side I could fully accept in my dreams, but have hard time to accept while with her, based on fear that she will not like it somehow.

    My dominant side is level-grounded, I'm not into S&M, pain, I'm not into anal.
    But I like being in control and I'm less giving, I give when I get. But up until now I'm been focusing on giving failing to see my own desires. A man has to take matters into their own hands.

    I truly cherish her and our moments, so I had to mention my performance anxiety, we decide that next time we see each other we will listen to each others needs, whatever they may be, she is kinda submissive because she likes being tied up.
    I think it was important for me to share with her my inner-desire and my problems I had.

    I had moment I was scared of sex thinking I will lose my erection also
     

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