Am I screwed on hoping to recover if I'm in a sexual relationship I don't want to lose?

So I recently started dating someone who I very much want to be in a relationship with. I've learned that I likely have PIED from being single for the last years and masturbating to porn regularly. I'm currently in my early 30's and have been using porn regularly for a long time. My new romantic interest and I have had sex a few times, with a lot of difficulty on my part, and I found I basically had to think about my unrealistic sexual fantasies in order to achieve an erection. I had a lot of difficulty achieving / maintaining an erection though. I'm wondering if there's any hope for me if I totally abstain from porn but continue having sex with her multiple times a month? I've wanted to be with this girl for 10 years plus, and there's a lot of potential for something very serious here; I don't want to lose it. Additionally I don't ever get as hard or big as I used to either, I don't know if that's because of age, or if I can expect improvement there too?

 

She's aware there's a problem, and I was honest about it, though she seems to disbelieve me that PIED is a real issue; that's not the problem. The problem is, there's no chance of making this relationship work if I can't give her sex for 90 days, so what I'm asking is, is it possible for me to recover by simply abstaining from porn and masturbation, but not orgasm via traditional vaginal intercourse, or is a reboot only effective from total abstinence INCLUDING normal sex?

 

We met up for a few days recently as we live apart, and had sex several times during our time together. She's very attractive, and even wore sexy lingerie, but each time I had some difficulty achieving an erection initially, but once I got it going I was okay (mostly), but the first time we did it I couldn't reach orgasm. Obviously not wanting her to think it was her I told her that it was because I had been single for a few years and been used to only being by myself with porn, that had desensitized me, and also that my anxiety was high. I was comfortable telling her this because she masturbates to porn as well, but I still think she believes it's a problem with her because of the physiological differences between men and women she said "well I've never had that problem", meaning, porn hasn't desensitized her, but it just isn't the same for men and women, she doesn't need to get an erection obviously. So I did my best to make her understand at least.

 

Well if I had ever been educated about the consequences before hand I would have never allowed it to get like this. I just thought what I was doing was harmless and that all men are using P to O. I just wonder if I have any chance of fixing it by just removing P and M while keeping O through normal sex.