Am I straight, bi or gay?

S

Straus

Fapstronaut
Hey Guys

I just want to ask you some questions, but before i must tell some things about my sex life in real life and my porn habits.

One year ago i saw a video where they talked about cuckolds. In this time i was really into cuckold porns and they sad that the cuckold is bi or gay. Then i thought if i liked cuckold porn so much maybe i am bi or gay. I dont believe that but i thought about the topic every time. So i checked myself and masturbate to gay stuff and straight stuff. I did this one year along and i didnt know already if i like men or not, because the most time i didnt get aroused to gay porns/pictures/thoughts and whatever. But there was some days i was turned on and aroused by it. So i want to ask you did you find that i am gay and cant accept that or is it my porn addiction?

Real Life: I only had crushes on Girls, since i was a kid i only got crushes on girls. But i had only one relationship with a girl so far, i was 18 years old and the relationship ended in 2 weeks. She was my first kiss but we doesnt had sex ( i am still a virgin ). But i really liked her and i got always rock hard if we kissed us.

I never had a crush on a guy in real life or was sexually interested in a man. I only liked girls and only had fantasizes and dreams about girls not about men.

Porn habits: i started with an really early age with masturbating. I started with vanilla porn. Then i discovered my foot fetish in porn. After that i saw so many porns of different genres, Teacher, Lesbian, Feet, Incest, hentai and it the end cuckold and humiliation porn. I masturbated very long time to cuckold and humiliation stuff. So in this year i checked me so many times to see if i like men or not. I masturbated to gay porn and didnt get aroused. But then there was an anxiety and i checked again again and again till i get aroused to gay stuff. I feeled horrible i dont want to be gay or bisexual. I couldn’t enjoy that gay stuff. At straight stuff i always got aroused but i didnt calmed down. I masturbated since 5 years, good every day.

So i want to ask comes this arousal because i have bisexual tendencies or is it about my porn addiction?
 
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I will definitely try nofap. Its just a weird thing. One year ago i was 100% convinced that i am straight. But after that video i get so confused. I never looked to a guy in a sexually way and my greatest wish is to have a girlfriend. I check me since a year. If i dont get aroused to gay stuff there comes the anxiety, if i get aroused to the anxiety comes again. One year of checking day for day and i still check myself without an answer.
 
You sound completely straight to me. When you get anxieties about orientation because of porn genres you may have seen and start questioning yourself and testing yourself, it usually points to one thing. It is a type of OCD called HOCD. In other words Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The cure for that is ignore the questions, stop testing yourself and give up porn and masturbation for at least 90/100 days. At that point, your true orientation will be crystal clear. :) Good luck.
 
Everyone deviates one way or another. I don't think that you are gay, you were looking for novelty, because the brain needs more and more stimulus as your addiction worsens.
 
I never felt attracted to a guy where i think wow he is hot i want to have sex with him. But if i masturbate i get aroused to gay stuff, but there is always a weird feeling while i am doing it.
 
You know, when my porn use escalated, my brain chemistry was so f****d up that I got erections on a lake or a tree or some other shit o_O Just think about it, how messed up your brain must be, that it gives a signal to get erect on a random tree or clouds in the sky. That was the time I realised that I have a really serious porn issue, and my brain is a mess. We see with our brain, not with our eyes.
For example, how our brains work. Lets take clinical depression. Person who has it, has maybe everything ok in his life. Wife, kids, well paid job, nice home etc. But only thing what he is thinking, is that life sucks and how to kill himself.
Other example, transsexuals: There are a lot of stories how 5 years after they have made the sex change operation, they want to be a man again.
They dont feel that way anymore. The suicide rate amongst them is high. Its not who they are as a human, its that their brain is messed up and gives false signals.
Third example, jail: There are a lot of man on man sex there. Dominant guy f***ks weaker one just to show his dominance and make the other guy submissive and break his spirit. Its a power thing. And I think the erections that they have to perform, is due the feeling of power.
Stop practising the things you dont like, or what you dont want to be or do in your life. You are what you do. Every time you do something you get better at it, and brain makes new and stronger connections in that area.
 
I also experienced the same thing like you with the trees. I try to check if i get aroused to a A sexual thing like trees and mountains. Most time not but sometimes i got hard.
 
As you see, its not sexual, its messed up brain.
Maybe we lose our sexuality in porn, I mean these individuals who have crossed the line. You look some genre for a period of time, and you have seen it all, it gets boring. Then you take new genre that is a bit off your taste or something you havent even thought of. The shock of that gives you a new rush and you go back for that. And so it escalates more and more. Then you have identinty crisis about who you are. Why I watch these things that I didnt and dont like, but still get erections. Well like Straus told, he gets himself erect on straight porn, and to get more exited he turns into gay porn. In that way he teaches his brain to get erect on that. And now hes confused. Do this shit long enogh and youll start waching people f****g animals or other weird shit. Then you need to identify yourself again, are you gay or zoophile. Endless circle.
 
So you say porns nothing have to say about my sexuality. But this cuckold stuff really turns me on. It turns me so on that i could imagine how a women force me to suck her lovers dick. One year before that all started i never thought about that and was convinced that i only like women
 
Im not saying that, you must deal with that yourself. Im trying to give you information that may help you understand whats going on.
Believe me, Im not going to start having sex with clouds or trees :) but the erections where there.
Cuckold porn is something that I allso watced, but I imagined that Im the man f*****g other mans wife.
I allso have HOCD, but never watched anything related to gay porn, no ladyboys no trans etc. Its just not me. But I have wached lesbian porn and liked it a lot. Thats allso is gay porn with females, but most men watch it and like it. Theres two women, and I like women, more the merryer. Its not that simple you see.
There was a thread here, how cuckold and sissy porn are designed to make you feminine and submissive. Theres lot of subliminal messages in these. Look it up, I think you find it interesting and educational for yourself.
 
Well i checked me again. I got aroused to womens and to mens not. Before that i only wanted sex with girls. But it seems like that sth arouses me sometimes if i watch gay stuff
 
Cuckold, sissi porn, porn in general, humiliation ... has got NOTHING to do with living life as a gay man ;)
 
Hello, for years I've been watching porn and I've watched a lot of categories and there are two that I do not understand why I watch them even though I'm not attracted to them in reality 1. Trance 2. Animation and all its categorie: loli, yaoi...
 
I checked myself masturbated to girls and then to boys. To the girls i get aroused to the mans not. But this anxiety dont stop i dont know.
 
The thing with porn is that you tend to search for different things to get an extra kick of dopamine. I consider myself straight and have been with 4 women, but I have watched all kinds of porn... Straight porn, gay porn, transgendered person porn, bondage, zoofilia... Quit that sh*t as soon as possible. It messes with your mind.
 
You‘re right. I must stop with that porns and that checking. I check myself and try to imagine to kiss a girl and have sex with her. I got aroused. If i do that with men the most part i dont get aroused.

But then when i see that i dont get aroused to men, if i see a good looking guy on the street or in a video there comes such a fear up in me and i am getting excited of that, because i think that i am attracted to him. I think then how would that be to kiss this guy but then i cant enjoy it and when i am checking after that i dont get really aroused the circle begins at new and if i get aroused i check me so long till i didnt get aroused to gay stuff and the circle begins from new.
 
Straus said:
You‘re right. I must stop with that porns and that checking. I check myself and try to imagine to kiss a girl and have sex with her. I got aroused. If i do that with men the most part i dont get aroused.

But then when i see that i dont get aroused to men, if i see a good looking guy on the street or in a video there comes such a fear up in me and i am getting excited of that, because i think that i am attracted to him. I think then how would that be to kiss this guy but then i cant enjoy it and when i am checking after that i dont get really aroused the circle begins at new and if i get aroused i check me so long till i didnt get aroused to gay stuff and the circle begins from new.
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Relax! To be gay would not be killing you.
 
Even if you were bi, it's not a bad thing. Atleast you have options. But the thing is, you might be a little curious and maybe sometimes you are in the mood for it, and maybe sometimes not.
Porn is visually seeing a fantasy being played out, just like a movie or a television series. You are getting an extra dopamine dose with extra stimulus. My suggestion is to stop watching any porn just to test yourself if you are gay or not. If you see a man in person and you are attracted and fantasizing about being with him, then yes, you are. So that should be the only indication.
 
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