An abstract definition of pornography

I wrote something for myself trying to figure out what pornography *really* is, looking at it from a psychological/philosophical standpoint. I figured it may be something worth sharing with this community. I posted in this category because it's more about those who are "beyond recovery" than those struggling with severe pornography addiction because of nuance.

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Whenever you have found something to be unhelpful for you, it is useful to dig deeper and find out why that thing is unhelpful, to understand the essence of the destructiveness, in order to distinguish between the destructive element of the object from the object itself. Doing so allows you to potentially benefit from a modified version of the object, omitting the destructive element, and you will also be able to detect the destructive element elsewhere in your life.


In this post, I will be examining the destructive elements of pornography, and I will give a psychological definition, and see where pornography given this definition is present in life other than pornography conventionally known.


The reason to do this is that the mind secretly keeps a record of all the unfair, inconsistent, tyrannical aspects of our self-restraint, and plots its revenge on ourselves. When you do something that you fully understand is nothing but destructive, you are acting out of spite. Acts of spite occur when you haven’t been treating yourself right. By examining more deeply how we lead our lives, we can be more fair rulers of ourselves by weeding out logical inconsistencies and arbitrary limits of what is allowed and what’s not. There is no wonder why inner spite brews when you put a strict non-pornography restriction on one manifestation of pornography, but not another.


I’d like to start off with two definitions of pornography from the merriam-webster dictionary:

#1) the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement

#2) the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction


I have recognized three distinct, although interconnected, destructive elements of pornography as it’s commonly consumed. Namely that in the context of masturbation. The first is that the highly stimulating nature of the content can lead to desensitization. Secondly, it reduces libido and takes a toll on your physiology, which leads to less energy to use in creative acts. And the third is the self-image one may have during and after consumption, where one may enter a toxic mindset and damage self-esteem, where one would lack the character to own up to those actions, and create a barrier between self and others.


These three problems are directly linked to the first definition, in the context of masturbation. My definition would be in the nature of the second definition, a broader definition that is not necessarily about sex. In the last few years, we’ve seen terms like “Nature porn”, “Food porn” and “Closet organization porn” pop up on the internet. What are the commonalities of these things, what do these types of “pornography” share? From this, I give a psychological definition:


Pornography can be defined as something that is intended to give someone the pleasure of the end result of something that is difficult to achieve, without giving having to put them through the hard work and danger of achieving it, nor the potential consequences that follow achieving it.


Many people have problems with pornography because of a misunderstanding of the true nature of satisfaction. The truth is that the pleasure of achieving a goal is tantamount to the difficulty of achieving it. The happiness gained by the end result is ephemeral at best, or simply non-existent, or in other cases, it might be suffering. The irony of human existence is that the pleasure of achievement is breadcrumbs compared to the meat and juice of life, namely the process of working towards something that’s difficult, meaningful, and good, even if on the surface it’s one may not seem happy. The end result may be suffering, but suffering can actually be enjoyed given that it means something greater than itself - for example, the pain after a hard workout may be enjoyable because it’s a sign that you’re growing and you had to earn the pain by hard work.


And with pornography, the pinnacle of instant gratification, there is virtually nothing to overcome.


There’s something incomparably satisfactory to be in a process of achieving something difficult while simultaneously knowing that your ability to achieve is improving, not only the object in front of you but in general too. In other words, not only are you working toward achieving something, but you are becoming more efficient in the process. Perhaps the only way a person can be finally satisfied is to move towards a goal they will never reach.


The philosophy behind pornography, in the way I choose to define it here, is just the opposite of the true nature of our satisfaction. The philosophy of pornography states that satisfaction is to be found in the end results, not from the process of hard, meaningful work. By indulging in pornography, we dimmer the heroic spirit within us, which has serious negative consequences for our personality and ability to achieve things in life. We teach the mind, so to say, that difficulty is to be avoided, and it’s not necessarily, and we become prone to shortcuts and expediency. We become mentally weak and cowardly because acts shape character just as much as character determines acts.


As I alluded to at the beginning of the post, it’s useful to think about how pornography consumption manifests itself in other aspects of life. It might be a little tricky to figure out in your life, often because the content is not made as pornography, but is consumed as such.


I have noticed in mine, something I would call “Social-pornography,” found in entertainment from Social media, Youtube, and podcasts especially. I don’t dismiss the value of these things, but they have pornographic aspects. They give you the end result of hearing conversations without the hassle of meeting up, and the nerves of meeting new people, without the usual tension that comes with having a conversation. With podcasts, and alike, you get to participate in conversation with some of the funniest, interesting people on earth, which makes your real friends seem dull in comparison. I suspect sometimes we use the convenience of podcasts, youtube videos, etc… because it mitigates loneliness and boredom. The problem is that people rely more and more on the convenience of technological substitutes for social interaction.


Music can also have pornographic aspects. Music brings people to a different state of mind - this can be a beautiful thing, but music can be misused where it’s consumed constantly to the point where life feels dull without it. Instead of conducting your life so that your state of mind is like a symphony, the person becomes reliant on the music to generate their desired state of mind.


My last example is “Info-porn.” What I mean by this is that people become habituated to immediately finding the right answers by looking it up or watching a brief video about it, dusting their hands off and telling themselves they’ve figured it out. This is hardly learning. True learning is taking the hard labor to figure out why something is wrong and why something is right. Which requires painstaking contemplation and experimentation. Learning is not about finding the right answer, it’s about failure, it’s not about impressing people, but taking the risk of being wrong. It’s not about confirming your beliefs but challenging them. You can watch video after video, read book after book, take course after course, and when it comes down to performing for yourself, you realize you haven’t learned a damn thing.


You may object to the idea that it’s the difficulty that makes achievement worthwhile by saying: “So, according to you, one would be more satisfied in life if one purposefully made tasks unnecessarily difficult.” This objection highlights that difficulty in itself is not sufficient. This brings to mind the event of finding someone who’s bashing his head against the wall, to which you ask “Why are you doing that?” and he replies “Because it will feel so good when it stops.”


The head against the wall example illustrates the difficulty in a vacuum of meaning and context. Having difficulty for the mere sake of difficulty is counter-productive. Although the difficulty is a good indicator that something is worthwhile, it’s not sufficient.


If you find a solved sudoku puzzle, it’s trash, you throw it away. If you find it unfinished, it has value, and people spend time on games even though they are strictly not necessary. What I would really call “necessary” is that which is needed to accomplish our self-defined goals, and the goals which have been pre-determined for us, granted those goals are in alignment with our main goal, our dream in life.


It is suboptimal to indulge in difficulty for the mere pleasure of it. This is hedonistic pseudo-heroism. Or simply wasting time, for example using a brush instead of a vacuum cleaner, so one may enjoy the process of cleaning for a longer time, this is laziness disguised as extra effort. This type of behavior neglects the difficulty of finding efficient ways of doing things. Bashing one’s head against the wall in order to feel good when stopping is a lazy, sub-optimal way of achieving pleasure. When life becomes too easy, instead of deliberately putting obstacles to the same aim, it’s time to set the bar of success higher, aim higher, and more meaningful obstacles will come naturally to you.


Like anything else, this idea can be taken too far. One may develop an attitude that refuses to listen to music because they want to generate states of mind themselves unassisted, or they refuse to read books because they want to find everything out for themselves, or refuse to look at great art because they want to limit their experience of beauty to immediate experience.


The idea of instant gratification is not necessarily evil. Our minds are continually dreaming and fantasizing about conquest and pleasure, whatever form it may be, sexual, social, financial, and there are pornographic aspects of our regular mental activity, but a fantasy about conquest is not necessarily pornography. It’s important to consider that this indulgence in the end result may serve a useful purpose, even if we are not aware of why. Complete neglect of the end result may lead us astray, and our motivation may fade, and we forget what we’re aiming at, and why.


It may be useful to think of experiencing an end result of a discharge of energy. Just like eating food reduces stress and evaporates anticipation, Discharging energy can both be useful and unuseful. Too much pent-up energy is unhealthy, it makes us neurotic, anxious, uptight, and obsessed, while too much discharge makes us unmotivated, lazy, and depressed. I don’t think there’s anything necessarily evil about creating a discharge out of thin air when there is no end result obtained, but it’s useful to recognize it as a symptom that you’re leaving energy expenditure on the table, which may or may not be a sign that you can push yourself harder in other areas of life.