An addiction that has become a routine that destroys me.

HKO

HKO

Fapstronaut
I am a 27 year old man that since I finished high school I started to perform the act of masturbation while watching pornography. At first I just felt like I was exploring my body, but I liked the sensation, I'm not going to lie that it gave me security and even took away a stress I didn't know I had.
I started doing it once a week, until I realized that I started doing it once a day, at night or in the mornings. I always thought it was something normal, but little by little I realized that I felt fatigued very fast, without energy and sometimes even without appetite.
There were times when I wanted to quit, but at the first attempt I felt that my life was stressing me out and I used masturbation to get rid of the stress and unfortunately it worked.
I felt it became my addiction, like a man who smokes just to de-stress. I felt I lost control of my sexual appetite.

There was even one sexual encounter with a woman where I did what she did and I didn't feel aroused, to the point that I had to do it myself to feel anything. Sometimes my hands alone touch my member, prompting me to perform the act of masturbation, which makes me feel ashamed.

I have a problem...and I hate myself for letting it control me. Fortunately no one has noticed (I think), but I see videos where they say this thing rots my brain and may be an effect of my lack of motivation, which I have talked to my psychologist and I am having a hard time finding.

I decided to take the challenge following the inspiration of everyone in this forum, I started since Saturday October 26, however I have been feeling restless, cravings are trying to win me over and watching videos on Youtube are not helping me, I can't look at a miniature woman because I try to go crazy.


Today 3am I am trying to write this with the goal that someone can help me with this anxiety, I promise to give my best effort.
I want to start improving my life and free myself from this thing.
I would like to be a better person, focus more, have a motivation that drives me to get better...and maybe get a girlfriend.

If you read all of this, thank you so much.
It was worth it to get this off my chest.

Now I'll play a video game, get some exercise, and try to sleep.
 
Look, masturbation is a normal and healthy thing to do, humans has done it since the beginning of our existence. It's masturbation combined with explicit content that is dangerous.

When are brain gets to much exposure to sex/nudity it will releases a very high dose of dopamine and dopamine is something the brain loves. When you are browsing the internet and watching adult content after content, doesn't matter if it's a picture or a video our brain releases dopamine constantly because our brain loves such content. While watching, your brain will get in a "mate mode" which will trigger it to get as many ejaculations as possible and it wants to mate with every nude women you see. Our brain isn't clever enough to understand that the girls is on the other side of a screen, no, it thinks she's directly in front of us and our brain wants to bang her.

Our brain releases way more dopamine while watching explicit content than it releases during an orgasm. If you want to feel better and healthier, decrease how many times you masturbate during a month, week, day and completely "NUKE" the pornographic content. If you aren't able to get rid of the porn, your brain will make you depressed, tired, unmotivated etc...

As soon as you feel urges/temptations to watch "porn" you have to do something to keep your mind straight and keep yourself distracted. Play a video game or working out as you said is a great way to keep yourself entertained and will hopefully ease the urges/temptations, at least is doing for me, but it's very individual.

Keep as far away from things that will trigger your addiction and keep your hands high and not in the lower regions of your body, if your hands goes to low a relapse is more or less inevitable. Remember that social medias nowadays has a really bad filtering and somethings you might see there could trigger you or remind you of pornographic content. If you having a hard time to avoid it, I would recommend getting a blocker on your phone, computer or both.

Just some things that could help you and that you can take notes from.
 
Personally am on a PMO mode (porn , masturbation, orgasms) . Until I heal. Am not turn back. These are some of the things I can tell you brother;

1. Fight this war as if you are fighting for your life. Don't allow your brain to control. Control your brain.

2. Get something to do. Something physical. It will really buy alot of time from the time porn could have taken. Just get something that you don't feel lazy or bored when doing.

3. Avoid holding your d**k at all costs. Trust me . If you don't hold that guy, or play with it, it will hard to masturbate. Only hold him when peeing or showering . But avoid at all costs when you are not doing the two.

Personally, am fighting this battle with ma life until I heal , am not doing anything. No relapse , no what. Until am a victor. I will uplift another brother someday in the future and tell him my success story.

All the best in your journey
 
HKO said:
took away a stress I didn't know I had
Click to expand...

This is the genesis of all addictions, as far as I can tell. We use pornography to numb out our emotions, to escape from some feelings, memories, and responsibilities.
That is where the real work lies; changing our lives to be filling that void or sadness with positive, healthy people and things.

Welcome to the forum and to recovery - it gets so much better :) It sounds like we are both learning what a healthy sexuality is. This video has helped me a lot:
 
Choices Has Consequences said:
Look, masturbation is a normal and healthy thing to do, humans has done it since the beginning of our existence. It's masturbation combined with explicit content that is dangerous.

When are brain gets to much exposure to sex/nudity it will releases a very high dose of dopamine and dopamine is something the brain loves. When you are browsing the internet and watching adult content after content, doesn't matter if it's a picture or a video our brain releases dopamine constantly because our brain loves such content. While watching, your brain will get in a "mate mode" which will trigger it to get as many ejaculations as possible and it wants to mate with every nude women you see. Our brain isn't clever enough to understand that the girls is on the other side of a screen, no, it thinks she's directly in front of us and our brain wants to bang her.

Our brain releases way more dopamine while watching explicit content than it releases during an orgasm. If you want to feel better and healthier, decrease how many times you masturbate during a month, week, day and completely "NUKE" the pornographic content. If you aren't able to get rid of the porn, your brain will make you depressed, tired, unmotivated etc...

As soon as you feel urges/temptations to watch "porn" you have to do something to keep your mind straight and keep yourself distracted. Play a video game or working out as you said is a great way to keep yourself entertained and will hopefully ease the urges/temptations, at least is doing for me, but it's very individual.

Keep as far away from things that will trigger your addiction and keep your hands high and not in the lower regions of your body, if your hands goes to low a relapse is more or less inevitable. Remember that social medias nowadays has a really bad filtering and somethings you might see there could trigger you or remind you of pornographic content. If you having a hard time to avoid it, I would recommend getting a blocker on your phone, computer or both.

Just some things that could help you and that you can take notes from.
Click to expand...
Thank you for taking the time to read my situation and understand. The subject of masturbation for me before was not something I felt guilty about.
But being a very nervous and introverted person, I didn't allow myself to have very common sexual encounters, that's why I took refuge in it. We are on the 4th day and I am starting to feel how my brain is claiming the absence of dopamine.
 
Trapset said:
Personally am on a PMO mode (porn , masturbation, orgasms) . Until I heal. Am not turn back. These are some of the things I can tell you brother;

1. Fight this war as if you are fighting for your life. Don't allow your brain to control. Control your brain.

2. Get something to do. Something physical. It will really buy alot of time from the time porn could have taken. Just get something that you don't feel lazy or bored when doing.

3. Avoid holding your d**k at all costs. Trust me . If you don't hold that guy, or play with it, it will hard to masturbate. Only hold him when peeing or showering . But avoid at all costs when you are not doing the two.

Personally, am fighting this battle with ma life until I heal , am not doing anything. No relapse , no what. Until am a victor. I will uplift another brother someday in the future and tell him my success story.

All the best in your journey
Click to expand...
Thank you very much for reading my situation and giving me some advice. I do feel like my brain demands dopamine because of masturbation and pronography. And I don't know if it is sujestion but I do feel my body shaking, so when that happens I use arm clamps when I am at work and at home at least some burpees.
Come on, I know I can win this battle....
 
cleaningupmyact said:
This is the genesis of all addictions, as far as I can tell. We use pornography to numb out our emotions, to escape from some feelings, memories, and responsibilities.
That is where the real work lies; changing our lives to be filling that void or sadness with positive, healthy people and things.

Welcome to the forum and to recovery - it gets so much better :) It sounds like we are both learning what a healthy sexuality is. This video has helped me a lot:
Click to expand...
Thank you very much for reading my situation and giving me this advice.
It might make sense, I have struggled with my psychologist to find a motivation to go on with my life, either at work or with my family.

Thank you for the welcome and it inspires me to know that many of us are overcoming this situation. Let's give it our all to make the best of ourselves.
 
I would really like to join up and have an accountability partner. I'll help anyone and could use the help myself. Iron sharpens Iron.
 
I'm looking for a serious accountability partner , if you are serious then we can be good , my discord id is : karvem.am
 
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