“Conscience is a dreadful thing when it accuses man or boy”….Charles Dickens Like many of you fellow troops I’m on a journey to kick this dreadful habit out of my life for good. I had the courage and strength to look beyond the beautiful pornstars and the powerful dopamine hits and see PMO for what it really is, the destroyer of lives, a highly addictive habit, one that fuels sex trafficking, destroyer of relationships and the cause of psychological problems. My story goes way back 10years ago when I was a 15 year old student in a humble boarding school somewhere in Southern Africa. This school was a very conservative catholic institution and we weren’t even allowed to bring our phones when the school term started. As you know there is always that one kid who will break laws and in this case it was a dear friend of mine who brought his phone to school. Little did I know that tiny device that entertained us so much was going to introduce me to a habit that have taken away so much from my life. His gallery was full of downloaded porn videos and since he was the only one with a device, before bedtime we used to gather round his single bed and watch porn together before dispersing each one to his bed with a bulge on trousers to furiously masturbate. That is how it started. Shortly after, I owned a phone myself and it all went downhill from then. What a fool I was a moment wasted to be followed by a lifetime of regret. Sometimes I long so much to go back in-time to change things but I know that’s just wishful thinking. I used to be a mild, good-natured, sweet-tempered, easy-going, foolish, dear fellow. Coming from a beautiful place like Africa I remember how as a little child I had such appreciation of the beauty of sunrise and the splendour of sunset but when I discovered PMO I would spend most of my days either looking for some amongst my friends or watching some. I pushed away my favourite habits which were music and reading. I lost all motivation to grind like most men. Not long after I became a bitter young boy, easily irritable and not so pleasant to be around. My grades plummeted, my relationships suffered and I couldn’t even keep a girlfriend longer than 2 months but if there was one thing I actually excelled at, it was PMO. If ever a man’s penis peeled off from excessive masturbation, mine should have done so then. But then I realised just how terrible this habit was to me and I joined nofap, and honestly its good to hear and be listened to by strangers, truly the power of brotherhood is one of the great pleasures and strengths of manhood. I’m here because I want to kick this habit out of my life for good, I would like to have a normal relationship with a girl, be passionate about life again, go out there and toil with the rest of man, be a gentleman, loving, kind and graceful . In a nutshell I want to reclaim all that PMO has robbed me of and I don’t intent on giving up or giving in. Thank you all for reading I will write another post to clearly highlight the benefits and setbacks I have experienced on this journey this was just an introduction of my story.