Analysis of when you relapse the most. Loneliness & Weekends.

Same here man, every damn time I failed was late at night (2,3,4 am ) and most probably in the weekend. That's why I chose to go to bed at and early hour.

 

Yes, 4 days ago (not doing those mistakes again and I don't even think about it it's seems much easier than before)

 

If you are masturbating just once a day, I don't see why you guys can't see it as just a normal thing. The whole "n0fap" thing seems like a new Puritanism to me.

 

If it was normal, there would be lubricant oozing out of the palms of our hands.

The only thing natural is your penis in a vagina. That is what you have sex drive. Not to self stimulate like a mouse that found a lever that stimulates it's pleasure center.

You are probably in the wrong place or trolling. Not sure .... but you are now blocked for me. Good luck on your journey.

 

No, I'm not a troll. I'm just trying to understand it all. I've already introduced myself in the Newbies forum.

Since Feo won't be reading what I say, let me make some observations. His position that the only place for a penis is in a vagina is absurd. Masturbation has been around for as long as humans have been alive. Furthermore, his definition of sex doesn't take into account all the other places that men put their penises, like in mouths or in other men, all of which is perfectly normal.

I can understand wanting to stop a ten-jerk-offs-a-day habit, and I can understand wanting to give up straight porn, which objectifies women, but wanting to give up masturbation altogether strikes me as unnecessary. As I said, we don't need to return to our Puritan beginnings. Moderation strikes me as reasonable and rational; abstinence strikes me as a form of self-punishment.

Are you sure you guys aren't just succumbing to religious guilt or something?

 

I agree with you, Morning and late evening is the hardest time. When I get home and stay alone after a busy day. I use my laptop a lot and i can't control myself with porn. Now, I sleep early, it prevent me from this bad habit.

 

I am not religious. But I do believe masturbation drains me of spirit... Spirit meaning, confidence, libido, creativity, compassion and energy in general. Masturbation is not something you can easily do in moderation. Try telling a coke head to have a line every once in a while and see what happens. Or tell a recovering alcoholic to have one beer. It will always lead to abuse one way or another, even with your best intentions. Im not saying you need to be a munk, but look up semen retention and its benefits. Maybe that will give you a different perspective.

 

I jerk off a lot, which means 4 to 7 times a week. And I look at porn while I do it. Neither of those things strikes me as a problem. My experience with jerking off is that it relieves my sexual tension so that I can put it out of my mind. I don't think that it drains me of anything important. Also, for the time I'm looking at a picture, I can imagine I'm in a relationship, which is good because I haven't had sex with a real human in about 12 years.

I understand that jerking off 4 to 7 times a week isn't a lot for someone who is addicted to it. I guess it's the addiction part that I don't understand: Once I jerk off, the sexual tension is gone, and I naturally turn my attention to other things. Sometimes, however, when I'm under stress, my mind will wander back to sex and I'll jerk off a 2nd time in one day. Again, I don't see that as a problem. When I was young, I think that I managed to jerk off three or four times in one day (I didn't do that often). After the third jerk-off, my body was "dry", so I couldn't do it any more. You guys who can jerk off 5 or more times a day, don't you get dry?

What concerns me as I read through this board is that people are moralizing about masturbation (saying that it is bad, wrong, etc.) instead of seeing it as a natural function, and I think that the moralizing just complicates what may be a behavioral problem.

My other concern, and the main reason I'm here, is that any resurgence of Puritanism alarms me. It's bad enough that the moralistic approach of Muslim's towards sex is spreading all over the world without America's Puritanism also reasserting itself. You see, in my view, what mankind needs is a more relaxed approach to sex, not a more restrained approach.

 

I respectfully disagree with what you're saying. You are using masturbation as a crutch to relieve stress. Instant gratification, and a quick dopamine surge. Just like any other drug. I don't want to get political here either, but I dont see how Puritanism is reasserting itself in america of all places? It has to be the most promiscuous society ever. This is becuase of the easy access we have to porn. My little cousin who just turned 12 was telling me people in his grade were sneaking into the bathrooms to have sex during recess. He felt like an outcast because he hasnt done that. These kids are being manipulated by an over promiscuous society...

I am not here on NoFap to be a munk, or push a motive of Puritanism. Hell no. I am here to heal myself. Im here becuase I want to work on myself, and I want to have sex with beautiful women, not my hand. Sometimes you have to abstain for a bit to re train your brain. I can agree that masturbation once in a while isn't a bad thing, however I think you've been brainwashed with the idea that 4-7 is perfectly healthy. Those ideals are pushed by the same people who shove P in our lives. The first step in overcoming an addiction is realising you have one first.

 

No, you're wrong. It isn't the porn industry that says that masturbation is normal; it is the medical community. If masturbating four to seven times a week isn't a problem for me, it isn't a problem, full stop. I can understand that guys who jerk off five times a day would feel that it's a problem, but once a day is very normal. Incidentally, there is nothing wrong with a dopamine surge. We have dopamine in our bodies for a reason. I should add that there is a release of dopamine when you have sex with another person -- does that make sex wrong too?

The internet and sexting is what's turning kids on to sex earlier, not masturbating. Kids have always masturbated. As for having sex with beautiful women, more power to you (it will help if you are beautiful too). But when you don't have a partner, doing what comes naturally should not be a problem. It's possible to be addicted to sex with other people, you know. If you end up using a woman as your hand, you are not doing her any favors.

If you guys are jerking off once a day and look at porn which isn't degrading to women, you don't have a problem. If you jerk off more than that, or spend hours on porn a day, then yes, you have a problem. But you are only going to make it worse by overlaying the problem with any of these things: religious values, false ideas about biology or what the penis is for, guilt, shame, embarrassment or any kind of self-judgement. There is indeed a puritanical attitude among many of the posters here, and that may be the real problem.

 

I can't think of a single reason why I should go 30 days without any sex in my life (sex with myself is all that's available to me now). The whole idea that having frequent orgasms is bad for you would mean that newly married men are hurting themselves. It makes no sense.

 

But man, you dont have to work for anything by doing that... Thats instant gratification, that's what ends up being bad for you... If you eliminated masturbation as an option you'd have to find a way to get actual sex in your life. Meaning you'd have to first leave the house, then develop the courage to approach people, go on dates, build a relationship and have sex etc... That takes effort. F*ckin yourself doesn't. You can do that anytime you have privacy in your own home.

You dont have to agree with whats being said, but I do encourage you to try even 7 days no PMO. See what happens

 

I'm sorry but I have to chime in as an SO of an addict. It's not just about the masterbating. It's about the porn with it. It's about masterbating in place of having sex with your SO when they are home with you, perfectly willing to do what you need. If you are single it's about self control. You shouldn't have to jerk off to have a good day. There is a difference between masterbating to scratch an itch so to say, and things in your life being replaced by it.

 

lp123, I'm 65 and no longer handsome. I don't expect to have another relationship before I die. However, even when I was young, jerking off was a normal thing. It didn't stop me from trying to establish relationships.

FitGirl, I usually jerk off in the evening, after much of the day is over, so I don't do it to have a good day. However, your phrase "scratching an itch" is a good one. I jerk off to get rid of the sexual thoughts that start to plague me after a day or two. It's a way of getting my mind off sex so I can concentrate on other things. But it's also pleasurable. While looking at a picture, I can imagine that I'm in a relationship.

So is "FitGirlFuel" your boyfriend's account, and you -- his girlfriend -- are using it? That seems to be what you were saying.

 

For me this isn't about Puritanism or anything like that. I remember what it's like to feel more normal, like what Caleb is describing, where I could relieve stress or experience pleasure and move on. Why I'm here is this now feels ... different, out of control, no longer pleasurable yet I often can't stop. I've learned to have respect for how difficult this process is, and to take it one day at a time.