Another failed attempt

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Toad1999, Jun 28, 2017.

  1. Toad1999

    Toad1999 Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone, I spent the day with my girlfriend and we tried to get intimate and I failed once again. I seem to have a harder time getting erect while standing because when I used to M I would always be lying down. We tried a few different positions and I would get hard and even be able to say at some points extremely hard, but it would soon go away. My erection doesn't last long enough to put on a condom and get it in. I'm really worried this is PIED but I have a feeling it's performance anxiety because I have failed a few times already plus it's with a fairly new girlfriend. If anyone has a word of wisdom, support, or any advice at all it will be appreciated
     
  2. Toad1999

    Toad1999 Fapstronaut

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    I forgot to add this is now my second week without PMO and I've flatlined and I'm assuming that could be a part of the reasoning of today's events. Before my non PMO journey I was still able to get a slightly stronger erection for a little longer than I could today.
     
  3. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    Hey man. I don't even know how to respond, I'm just really glad you said it.
    How long with the gf?
    What would you think of the idea of talking to her about it?
    What other ways could you build intimacy, other than sex?
    If you are in a flatline or still recovering from porn use, and are temporarily not able to get or maintain erections, what are other ways you can be intimate and have le sexy times, other than penis-in-vagina sex?
     
  4. Toad1999

    Toad1999 Fapstronaut

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    It's been about 3 months with this girl. She already knows about my recovery and NoFap and all that and is willing to support me. I'm on day 11 right now and the flatline couldn't be any worse, my mind is rushing full of thoughts. We do try to be intimate in other ways and we can be but it's just a matter of my own self confidence and having vanilla sex.
     
    The Wrestler likes this.
  5. Yes it´s a matter of your own confidence. In your mind the only way to satisfy her is be penetrating her. So not true! She does not even have to have an orgasm to be satisfied. Girls can be satisfied by satisfying you. Let her know she is really pleasuring you, but you can only do this by fully enjoying it yourself.
    Next time you have sex, go in with the mindset that you will not go beyond foreplay. You can cuddle, kiss, touch, lick as long as you want, but no penetration allowed. Make sure you let your girlfriend know this, so you are both on the same page.
    This will take the pressure of and you will probably get a solid erection, and if not that´s also okay. You have to do nothing more than to enjoy it. Concentrate on how good she feels and how good shes making you feel.
     
    Marcel0404 likes this.
  6. I think this is the right way to do. Mind wants to catch Toad1999 in this idea he has to penetrate her immediately. That's wrong. There is no such need. And really - with a lot of distance to where it is happening I have no doubt that all this problem will be solved sooner or later completely and his erection will be as natural as it was years ago. Nothing to push - just relax and enjoy.
     

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