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Another loner seeking help

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by free0fight, Nov 4, 2016.

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  1. Nov 13, 2016 #21
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness

    Pursuit__Of__Happiness Fapstronaut

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    No problem dude. It happens with all of us. Each one of us has gone or is going through what you are going now. Just keep pushing, keep moving. Don't lose hope. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. I too have failed multiple times and still failing. But, I haven't lost hope. I know it's hard, but it's definitely worth it.
    One approach may be going slowly and steadily taking one day at a time. Another approach which also helps sometimes is going all out. I mean going somewhere far, doing something that you are afraid to do, or anything like that. The purpose is to activate your lost charge, fuel it, pump it, shake your deep emotional state which forces you to come out of your comfort zone so that something new comes out of you. Though the latter approach is risky, you may try this if you are ready for this. Hope it helps.
     
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Nov 13, 2016
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Nov 13, 2016
    #21
    free0fight likes this.
  2. Nov 15, 2016 #22
    free0fight

    free0fight Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man. Yeah, it isn't easy. I've sought help with Psychiatry. Started me on meds that I'm not sure have made that much of a difference. Either way, the struggle continues to be very real. I am currently in grad school so don't have much of an opportunity to travel or do otherwise. Am keeping busy with studying but porn has also interfered with my studies which has also been frustrating. Either way, like you said we're all in the same boat. Best of luck to you and everyone else on this thread.
     
    free0fight, Nov 15, 2016
    free0fight, Nov 15, 2016
    #22
  3. Nov 15, 2016 #23
    D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    What are you doing to combat PMO? What strategies are you using?
     
    D . J ., Nov 15, 2016
    D . J ., Nov 15, 2016
    #23
  4. Nov 17, 2016 #24
    free0fight

    free0fight Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry, I'm new to this. What is PMO?

    Last night was again one of those nights...spent 4 hours online...feel so drained and exhausted right now. It's crazy, one moment I'm fine and in the blink of any eye I'm back at it again. My mind is so keen on seeking porn it's almost like a reflex. Almost as if it's out of my control, something deep within my subconscious that controls my thoughts and movements. And the funny thing is that meanwhile while I'm watching porn my mind can justify it, until I'm done and then I feel like crap. I put porn over showering and hygiene and even over eating...now I feel like crap, smell like crap, and I'm starving lol
     
    free0fight, Nov 17, 2016
    free0fight, Nov 17, 2016
    #24
  5. Nov 17, 2016 #25
    Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Masturbating to porn until you orgasm ;) But don't get the idea that leaving away the orgasm will fix anything. Masturbating without orgasm is called edging and is considered worse than normal masturbation by some.

    It is like a reflex because you are so used to it. It's a habit. But with enough willpower you can replace a bad habit by a good habit. We are controlled by our unconscious in many ways. But there also has to be something inside of you that made you realize you have a problem and that eventually got you here! Just because things are in your unconscious doesn't mean they have more power than your conscious thoughts.
    They indeed are powerful, but they are a sort of an automatic reaction. Once you learn to figure out this mechanism and its underlying reasons, you can take control of your hands. Be mindful!
     
    Headspace, Nov 17, 2016
    Headspace, Nov 17, 2016
    #25
    moonshapedpool, vibemaker, D . J . and 1 other person like this.
  6. Nov 17, 2016 #26
    free0fight

    free0fight Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your reply, Headspace, very insightful. I am now trying to stay more alert and on top of things, but it isn't easy...thoughts tend to slip away, and before I know it, I'm back at it again, as if I wasn't even trying. It wasn't until recently that I recognized my problem with porn (even though I've been doing it for almost 12 years now) and how it was consuming and isolating me. So much wasted life! Oh well, never too late to start I guess...
     
    free0fight, Nov 17, 2016
    free0fight, Nov 17, 2016
    #26
    D . J . likes this.
  7. Nov 17, 2016 #27
    free0fight

    free0fight Fapstronaut

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    Also, I was curious to find out how to create a M'd tracker like the ones some of you all have at the bottom of your comments? Much appreciated, thanks.
     
    free0fight, Nov 17, 2016
    free0fight, Nov 17, 2016
    #27
  8. Nov 17, 2016 #28
    Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    May be you can try some smaller goals in the beginning, like 3 days, then a week or something and then you'll see where you get from there :)

    Click on it in my signature. It should take you to the site, but unfortunately it says there's a problem with new counters at the moment...
     
    Headspace, Nov 17, 2016
    Headspace, Nov 17, 2016
    #28
    D . J . and free0fight like this.
  9. Nov 18, 2016 #29
    free0fight

    free0fight Fapstronaut

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    OK, thanks! I'll try that. And yeah, it doesn't seem to be working. I'll try to see what I can do about that.
     
    free0fight, Nov 18, 2016
    free0fight, Nov 18, 2016
    #29
    D . J . likes this.
  10. Nov 18, 2016 #30
    D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    D . J ., Nov 18, 2016
    D . J ., Nov 18, 2016
    #30
    free0fight likes this.
  11. Nov 21, 2016 #31
    free0fight

    free0fight Fapstronaut

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    Thank you D.J. I've actually joined a texting group. All guys I've met here in NF. So far it's been helpful. Haven't gone back to porn yet (day 3 so far...I know, baby steps lol). Thank you all for your help. I know it's a daily struggle and porn addiction is such a multifaceted issue...lots of underlying issues that need to be addressed (e.g. depression, low self-esteem, rejections, stress coping mechanisms, etc.). I think someone else posted on here, "One day at a time"...how true that advice is. I'm working on handling the stresses of life small pieces at a time, without porn in the process. Lots of introspection and trying to figure out how I got here and what to do to get out of this mess.
     
    free0fight, Nov 21, 2016
    free0fight, Nov 21, 2016
    #31
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness and D . J . like this.
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