B_GoodLuck
Fapstronaut
Hello, I haven't posted for a long time.
I'm 65 years old, and have been addicted to porn and masturbation for as long as I can remember. I've been married for 32 years, and have continued to watch porn and masturbate throughout my marriage. My wife is completely broken by my addiction, and keeps asking me questions like, "Why?", "How could I continue to look at porn and masturbate when I know how harmful it is to her, our marriage, our family?", "How can she ever trust me?".
Two weeks ago, we had a sexual encounter after 2.5 years of no sex. It started out very beautifully, but during the act, I suddenly stopped, saying I was tired, and we then went to sleep. I didn't talk to my wife about my feelings (I don't even know what my feelings were at that point).
She has now told me that she can't imagine ever wanting to have sex with me ever again. I am trying to abstain to maintain a drying out period, but in the past I kept choosing to masturbate and look at porn when I could "get away with it".
I'd appreciate any thoughts and advice that can help me maintain my sobriety. I don't find 12-step meetings helpful. I've read "Rational Recovery" and that really resonates with me, but I'm still struggling.
Thank you!
I'm 65 years old, and have been addicted to porn and masturbation for as long as I can remember. I've been married for 32 years, and have continued to watch porn and masturbate throughout my marriage. My wife is completely broken by my addiction, and keeps asking me questions like, "Why?", "How could I continue to look at porn and masturbate when I know how harmful it is to her, our marriage, our family?", "How can she ever trust me?".
Two weeks ago, we had a sexual encounter after 2.5 years of no sex. It started out very beautifully, but during the act, I suddenly stopped, saying I was tired, and we then went to sleep. I didn't talk to my wife about my feelings (I don't even know what my feelings were at that point).
She has now told me that she can't imagine ever wanting to have sex with me ever again. I am trying to abstain to maintain a drying out period, but in the past I kept choosing to masturbate and look at porn when I could "get away with it".
I'd appreciate any thoughts and advice that can help me maintain my sobriety. I don't find 12-step meetings helpful. I've read "Rational Recovery" and that really resonates with me, but I'm still struggling.
Thank you!
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