I wonder if there are people have the same or had the same and overcame it. Since I'm struggling with HOCD. I got HOCD bcuz someone said I might be gay, I became so anxious. I watched gay porn after I got the HOCD to test myself. I had some much anxiety, hands sweating, disgust but I got aroused by it somehow it also gave me a dopamine rush. I had no sexual feelings at all with it. It is like the same anxiety when you imagine for example your little sister get raped by some men or a relative getting murdered and the same disgust when u watch an operation for example. Not that I want you to imagine it, but I hope get what I mean. Like even going to site itself or watching men kiss I feel so anxious and disgusted it somehow turns me on sometimes. But whenever I try to relax and just watch it how is and try to ignore the anxiety and disgust. Just trying to think it is normal. I actually dont get aroused at all... So am I the only one in this? Has porn fuked my brain so bad that I get aroused by the things I dislike the most? Note I quit porn like 6 days ago again completely. But ye failed a bit comparing the feeling I have for men and women kissing. I continue my reboot but this is really freaking me out.