Any advice on where to aim this energy?

Try audio journaling, and listen to the tone of your voice as you're speaking and recording.

I also don't think you should abandon journaling by hand, I've found writing with the non-dominant hand to be very helpful - probably having to do with it coming from a different part of the brain and slows you down too but if you're patient with it you may find it surprises you too - just set like a five minute interval to give it a chance and see what you come up with.

What you're describing sounds like p-sub of a sort basically, usually people still look at bodies but it's like one step removed from that. Recognize it's starting to go down a slippery slope.

I don't know if just the fact that you're in a relationship is enough information to know what specifically may work for you, but considering you care about your family maybe consider the other side of the fence - like if your daughter ran off to become a porn star. I watched a documentary where this girl who was doing well, captain of cheerleading squad wanted to get out of her small town and answered a Craiglist ad and got into the industry. Her father didn't know until like she decided to quit months later. (shelf life of the career is apparently 3-6 months) Maybe as a father just reading about this might help a bit.

 

@SirVagabond are you attracted to your wife? is she attracted to you? are you having sex?
Are you fullfilled in the sexual department?
Cravings never go away, you are a man. Man have desires, we are born with the natural desire to spread our seed. We are naturally attracted to woman, and look at them. They are naturally build to attract man, they are always looking for man attention and knows that her looks are her most powerfull weapon over us to get it. It totally normal for you to want to look at woman.
The only way to calm that craving for reproduction, woman and spreading your seed is with an orgasm. During the days after an orgasm your needs to reproduce is as lower as it can be so your desire for woman is low.
That's why I ask you if you are having sex with your wife... and are satisfied with it.

 

Why are you on here, you troll? Every post you show up in you are poking weaknesses, spreading bad ideas, challenging men to fail. This is not helpful here. Maybe if you and that one who's all holier than though over retaining his sperm could have some conversations you might create some realistic expectations in life.

It is complete bs to say that having an orgasm calms the crave for reproduction. If that were the case the men on here having orgasms with their wives would have no need the next day for porn. And those obsessively using porn would never want to be with their wives. But that is not what we see. What we see is the stupid limbic brain and addicted brain on dopamine driving all sense out of people. Real connection, real intimacy fills and satisfies. Not just and orgasm. Sex with a spouse that is just sex isn't going to fill. Real, true intimacy that leads to a physical connection of giving and love, that fills. That blows away this cheap need to use smut to numb out pain.

 

@used19 the fact that you don't agree with me don't make your statements true and mine wrong.

The wonderfull thing about internet and human intelligence is the fact that you can read a lot of opinions and advice and choose the ones that are going to help you in your life. What you are suggesting is what you read about ot someone told you that is was correct and you refuse anything everybody else advice.

I totally disagree with this, but hey.. if it helped you to avoid porn then good for you, but don't think that everyone is an equal as you.
An addiction is not something you can replace with something else.. why? because you can be dumped by your wife and you will run to porn for confort.

 

No the fact that you are wrong makes her disagree.

This is a great example of blame shifting, gaslighting, and denial. Classic PA.

You missed her point entirely my friend. How can you totally disagree that real fulfilling intimacy is loving connection not cheap smut? /SMH

You are right a wife, a gf, a woman can never be the solution for the addiction. Like you said men dumped or alone would still have the addiction. The thing is, nobody is claiming to replace it with a woman. Woman are more than sex things.

Now who was it advocating curbing cravings with more sex?

 

Journalising can happen easily when you realize that you have certain problems and you need to get clarity on the things in your life so that you can address them most effectively.

Please do not approach journalising like doing a chore, instead approach the process as a means towards self-understnading.

From my experience, journalising is a TOOL that help us understand our psyche, identify the areas of ourself that needs to be worked upon, and formulate plans and intentions to lead us to self-development.

It is okay to feel restless while you sit down to write. Stay with it. Don't run away from the crazy feelings. Allow it to happen, see what you are are feeling and write it down. It will take time but this habit can be cultivated.

You can start a journal in the appropriate forum here and keep track of your journey as you kick out the crap habit that is harming you and your cherished relationships.

Personally, for me Journalising has been a great help in seeing my addictive patterns and addressing them.

From what I read, I feel that you are still trying to seek pleasure from using p-subs. Do you find indulging in those activities, worthwhile? What is your deepest truth? Do you like it? Do you want to do what you are doing? Honor your truths. I personally had a time when I used to indulge in some sort of p-subs, rationalising it by saying its not porn afterall. I thought it was okay. Actually, I desired it as well. I accepted the truth. But later I realized that the "pleasure" is not pleasure at all. Infact, I found myself to be more happy and content if I don't access any forms of p-subs, at all. I found that connecting with my SO altruistically gives pleasure, much deeper and soulful that searching for p-subs.

So what are your truths?

Whatever it may be, know that you are not alone. We all have our inner demons. No one is perfect. But we always have the opportunity to become the best version of ourselves. Let's take leverage of that.

Take care man! And kudos to you for making it past 150 days

 

When talking about opinions and advice there are no rigth answers. So.. if I said something that is not true for you, don't make it wrong. Is just a different opinion than yours and you have yo live with that.

Nope.. is the simple truth. Nobody is born knowing everything. All you are rigth now is what you learned from other people. You take your own judment and keep to yourself the things you think are ok and give value to your life.

He said that a fullfilling love would make you forget about porn... and that is not the case. You can be in a really good relationship and still like to consume porn. For some people can work.. but for other it just doesn't.
Also I know people that are not into relationships and prefer other stuff instead of that.

Again, it can be idiotic for you.. since you are not the holder of all truth, your beredict has no value at all... only for you and the ones thinking the same way.

Theres no facts here in NoFap. This is not mat, and we all have different points of view.
The difference is I'm open to share mine and listen to others, but you and the other user keep thinking that they are rigth and everyone that is against your truth is wrong, idiotic.. etc, and you sistematically attack it.. think about it.. and maybe we can keep sharing opinions in another posts without this toxicity.