any advices please?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by leddad, Dec 3, 2019 at 3:43 PM.

  1. leddad

    leddad New Fapstronaut

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    hello everyone,
    i am 27 and have huge erection problems.
    But first i want to tell you "my story" and hope anyone can help me finally.

    my sexual life started when i was 14. i watched porn there, but i didnt realize any bad consequences.
    when i turned 17 i got a gf and was together with her until i was 20. during this time i had a lof of sex and everything worked fine. well she cheated on me and it kinda fucked me up.
    after that i broke and noone was able to help me.

    for 5-6 years i played video games only, masturbated up to 8 times a day and watched a lot of porns (porns became more extreme everytime i watched), didn't do any movement, put on a lot of weight and was smoking between 60 and 80 cigarettes a day (everything in my room and eating a lot of junk food).

    during those days i didnt feel good ( anxiety/depression) and didnt meet any girls at all.

    a year ago i went to a therapist and he was able to help me a lot. i feel okay now but he couldn't help me with my sex problems. :

    1. i don't really see a reason to have sex when i can just masturbate.
    2. when i am about to have sex i am not getting hard enough... and i dont know what to do.
    3. i tried to stop watching porn for months and was just fapping with using my imagination, but i am still not getting hard enough.

    of course i am getting nervous when i meet a girl, but this can't be the reason why i am not getting hard enough? can it?

    my therapist told me to try visiting a prostitute and i did it 2 times ( not because i wanted, but because i thought i had to, to fix my problem finally)
    and both times it didnt really work.

    my doctor told me everything is fine with my penis and its because of my head.

    can you guys help me out? any advices? i finally wanna have a normal life and try to find a girl i love and want / can have sex with.

    i tried to not masturbate for 2 weeks, first week was hard, but after that i completly lost my interest on fapping so i got scared and started to fap again.
    because i dont want to lose my sexual lust completly.

    Is it really done with no fapping??? can i have a normal sexual life after that? how long does it take?

    i hope someone can help me,
    thank you very much
    and sorry for my english but english isn't my first language
     
    dboy18 and Wugazi32 like this.
  2. Souvent08

    Souvent08 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing!

    how about, for a set period of time, you take your energy and thoughts away from your sexuality completely. Dont think of porn, sex, your penis, nothing sex related. And put that energy and thoughts into something else. Something that takes you out of your house and gets you physically and mentally tired. Start with on day a week and do more and more.
     
    dboy18, Wugazi32 and Metis07 like this.
  3. leddad

    leddad New Fapstronaut

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    i will try that, thank you! but anyone has/ had similar issues? how do you get rid of them?
     
  4. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

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    It’s a really good advice by @Souvent08 , its all in your head - you have no health problems, so don’t overthink or push too hard, try to let it go, get your mind busy with over aspects of your life (work, study, sports, etc.), so your mind will get back to its normal (primal) state and heal. Don’t put sex in center of your life, it is just a small part of it.
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  5. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

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    + try 90 days nofap hard mode challenge
     
  6. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Your problem is that you are not connected to the women you have sex with. With prostitutes or affairs, you have no emotional relationship. They come and go. Deep inside, you know that and you cannot cheat yourself.
    Try to find a girl with whom you can have a true emotional & sexual bond. Also called relationship ;) This will change everything.
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  7. leddad

    leddad New Fapstronaut

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    thank you everyone. i will try to forget about sex and focus on other stuff. but its hard, all my friends are in a relationship and whenever we meet they ask me when i find my girl.
    and I combine sex and having a gf in one thing.
    i will try the nofap for 30 days and hope it helps or i realize at least a few changes.
     

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