Any Age Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Halibut, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. freedomispossible

    freedomispossible Fapstronaut

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    day 1:
    hey guys. I haven't been on here because i had no wifi and had limited data and i've been struggling so badly these past few days due to no internet and i have been pmoing ft 4 or 5 days. right now since i have wifi, i will log in here more and make a lot of effort to stop.
     
    Pashka likes this.
  2. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    August 10, 2019

    Checking in
     
  3. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    So I had a bit of a revelation today...

    Got with a girl last night, been seeing off a dating app and we slept together.

    What hit home is how I felt literally no excitement at all - zip - nothing. It just felt like something I should do.

    This was scary for me.

    BUT, for PMO I get an adrenaline rush, shaky feeling with anticipation.

    I mean that is screwed up and has shown me how bad porn has been for me and shown the need to connect with real people.

    I think I will get rid of the dating apps for now to help with the recovery as I feel they can become just as addictive and can carry the viewpoint that girls are sexual objects

    Opinions?
     
    RTBFOP likes this.
  4. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    August 11, 2019

    Checking in
     
  5. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    So at day 6 right now and I'm feeling like these urges aren't giving me a break. Yesterday hiked 8.5 miles which have made my feet tired. So I'm here thinking, these urges that I'm getting are going to make me cave in eventually, doesn't matter if being active only dissipates them for a day. So, I'm going to do calisthenics today later on when I go to a park. Haven't done calisthenics in a long time, so might as well get deeper into being active to ward off these urges.

    To be honest, I am tired, but only from my feet. And yet I still feel perfectly fine to work out hard on some pull-up bars and get myself sore.
     
    Halibut likes this.
  6. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    August 12, 2019

    Checking in
     
  7. AplhaGoku

    AplhaGoku Fapstronaut

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    I have tried from December 2015
    Its 13 august 2019 now
    My maximum streak is 8 days
    I would like to become an AP i have read the rules
    Current day is Day 1
     
  8. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Resetting the counter again... I didn't physically edged or relapsed, just watched porn. So there goes my streak again.

    One crucial thing I just figured out about this is that I got irritated and bored by just watching that, seriously. Well, at first it was kinda enticing, but after 2-3 minutes of watching it I felt grossed out and left the site. But then again... I tried it once more and went back to another of my favorite videos later on, and just as the 1st session, I felt grossed out and irritated at what I'm watching. So after those 2 sessions, I realized deep down I don't like porn... I just want to relapse and envision like I'm the guy in the video. It's all very unnatural, fake, and deceiving since it all comes down to me just wanting to bust one. It's like how you hear that porn kills love, and it does, since in most cases all we want is that 5-second pleasure. This is true because I'm pretty sure everyone who does this just busts one out, regrets it, and feels like crap. And as you're feeling all those crappy emotions, not once do you think about the actress that you relapsed to, you simply forget her. Now what the heck is that? Well, I understand on why nobody thinks about the actress they relapsed to since it's fake, but it goes to show that all we care about when watching porn is only about busting one. I know this sounds confusing... but I'm just trying to say is that when we watch that, we are just leaning towards to lust and not meaningful emotions. I know this sounds cheesy lol, but it's true though. We only use porn to satisfy our lust, nothing else
     
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  9. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    August 14, 2019

    Checking in
     
  10. DragonHeating

    DragonHeating Fapstronaut

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    If anyones motivation is down
     
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  11. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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  12. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    Keep going @Legit1

    I can sense you getting stronger each time you admit relapse, you are thinking so much more deeply about this addiction. ' felt grossed out' a great sign that you are seeing porn for what it really is.

    When I had sex recently I was thinking about how real sex just cannot compare to the unnatural dopamine high of porn. I am using this as extra ,motivation - I dont want to live my life never feeling proper connection to people.

    I am beginning to think that I split up with girlfriend due to the effects of porn numbing my emotions to feel and love properly
     
    RTBFOP and Legit1 like this.
  13. DragonHeating

    DragonHeating Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man
     
  14. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    August 15, 2019

    Checking in
     
  15. freedomispossible

    freedomispossible Fapstronaut

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    love the video!
     
  16. freedomispossible

    freedomispossible Fapstronaut

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    day 4: checking in.

    have barely had no urges whatsoever. so far so good. I expect day 7 to be a challenge but i will try to not relapse.
     
  17. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    August 16, 2019

    Checking in
     
  18. RTBFOP

    RTBFOP Fapstronaut

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    @Halibut and @Legit1 your last couple posts really hit home with me. Halibut that adrenaline rush that we get when we see or even think of porn but having sex with a real person and struggling to even perform. And legit1 the five second pleasure and then disgust and not even really thinking about it. These are things about PMO that are amazing to me. I am 100 plus days in and I still struggle. There are times when I have no interest in sex but I guarantee you if PMO was an option I would have no problems. I have a girlfriend and we have sex which has gotten better since I've quit but its still not the adrenaline rush I remember from PMO. The couple times things were rough and I almost gave in just the thought of PMO made me feel different. The dopamine high and instant satisfaction of PMO. I know people ask " How can you be married or have a girlfriend and still want to look at porn. We because the shit is god damn addicting that's why... Part of me is frustrated that after this long its not different. BUT.. The way I see it is I have been watching/addicted to PMO for YEARS how can I expect 100 days to fix all that damage. Like you said Halibut PMO days vs NON PMO days. Even at 100+ day streak I still have a shit ton more PMO days from the past 15 years. I hope everything I'm saying doesn't discourage, overall I know my life is better without PMO and I will continue down that path everyday is a battle but everyday I win is one one more day in the NON PMO day box. Keeping going guys. ONE day at a time.
     
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  19. Pashka

    Pashka Fapstronaut

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    It's enticing, followed by 5 seconds of pleasure, then regret and feeling like crap. That sums it up pretty well.
     
  20. DragonHeating

    DragonHeating Fapstronaut

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    Thank you!
     

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