Any Age Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Halibut, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    2-22-20: Day 1
    • Went to SCA. Got in touch again with some old friends. Will definitely go more often as long as I have gas money.
    • Was able to ward off temptations better this time.
    • Tomorrow, I am hanging out with friends so it’s basically a free day in terms of abstinence.
    • I was pretty busy the whole day preparing to for tomorrow. That and replacing a broken fence.
     
  2. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    Day 19

    Have seem to come out of a flat line slump - started to feel more confident in myself and that kind of feeling of fire in your belly

    This was after a week of feeling like I had vacant eyes and overthinking the simplest things

    Onwards and upwards!

    *The leaderboard has been updated*

    *Group is closed to additional members*
     
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  3. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    So from Saturday to Friday I was feeling very bad. I wished whatever came over me didn't arrived during that time because I went to small feast with a girl's family whom my parents really want me to be with her. I was shy on a level that's just not right... I barely talked and whenever I did, it was just very short and not that good.

    The negative symptoms I had on Friday were worse like - Fatigue, irritability, anxiety, acne popping up, stress, and I felt like I was going insane. On Saturday I still had anxiety and irritability... but man... why did these negative symptoms needed to arrive at the worst time possible? Just today I'm feeling like I'm getting stabilised, but I am dealing with some sharp urges. I've noticed my face cleared up from the acne that popped up from Friday, but it doesn't mean much to me right now.

    I need to remain strong as possible and not relapse. I can't afford to relapse since I've worked hard for this current streak...
     
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  4. IndigoRazor

    IndigoRazor Fapstronaut

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    Hi, is it possible to join the group?
     
  5. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, but this group is full.

    Day 35. I'm not experiencing any urges in the meantime, but I am feeling somewhat down. Don't know exactly why but I just am. Guess the urges aren't powerful enough that a part of me is resorting to feel bad? Don't know.

    I will keep on going for as much as I can. I've learned that a relapse doesn't bring me happiness, energy, or numbness as I always percieve to accomplish and get. There's only 1 road for greatness when it comes to NoFap, and that's to keep on going forward no matter the mood swings, urges, feelings going negative, inability to think straight, stress, anxiety, overthinking, etc. We just have to keep going and head to that day where our lives has changed for our betterment. If it takes 300 days or whatever, then we must keep going and get it over with. I've seen how some guys have said that it took them 1 year of pure nonstop hardmode in order to feel their lives to have drastically changed. If it takes me that long, then so be it, might as well get it over with instead of failing.
     
  6. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Moving along - had some tough urges yesterday but was able to fight through it. Last week, I had some pretty crusty days in terms of motivation and feeling alive, but I think that had to have something to do with withdrawals.

    Lately, I've been feeling the need to be really intentional in developing a daily routine for myself. I work from home, and my editing work has slowed down a touch but will pick back up soon. In the meantime, I've been meaning to get rolling on a new venture but often find myself unable to buckle down and maximize my time. When I'm struggling with motivation, I often begin to struggle with urges as well.
     
  7. L1ster

    L1ster Fapstronaut

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    Day 0 (25/Feb/2020):
    So this is embarrassing. Over the past month I was not able to keep a streak longer than 6 days, and I've been relapsing a lot — especially the last 1-2 weeks, where I almost did not have any streak at all. I relapsed today too.

    As to be expected, I am currently not feeling too great. I have been quite tired and experienced some brain fog and headache. Which is probably in part due to my sleeping routine being out of order, which I need to fix.

    Something I have noticed is that many feelings, behaviors and habits I might exhibit during a given span of time can influence or reinforce each other and that way help bring my overall mood, motivation and health either up or down — especially by influencing my daily routine. Which can shape into vicious circle spiraling out of control. As a recent example:
    • Anxiety or lack of morale might make me want short term gratification more.
    • Thus, prompting me to watch movies or play games "past bedtime", that way messing up my sleep schedule. Which results in me being tired during the day. Causing me to not only feel anxiety and a lack of motivation but also be tired.
    • Which can reinforce the previous short sighted behavioral pattern even further and/or increase the likelihood of other things in my routine going wrong, such as engaging in PMO. Which, as a relapse does, made me even more tired and mentally unwell.
    • Thus reinforcing my overall negative state and discouraging me from making changes because by then, doing so is even more difficult than at any point previously. Which just makes me crave escape even more strongly.
    Hence, I believe that what I do aside from abstaining PMO can also impact my nofap success. Taking this into account, something I wish to start doing to prevent all negative developments is to...
    1. Regularly evaluate my feelings. (e.g. Through keeping a "diary" or setting off a few minutes each day for writing down some bullet points). I should also reflect on the positives and negatives of what I did during the day. Hey I could even report some of this here! (Which I just realized).
    2. Better enforce positive daily routines aside from abstaining PMO. Though I'm not certain how to go about this. Regarding my sleep scheduled, I could somehow deny myself access to digital devices. Which I would prefer to do out of my free will instead of actually blocking my access to them.
    3. Prepare some default courses of action for when I notice things going wrong. Such as taking a walk, exercising or meeting friends.
    4. Use this group to help hold myself and others accountable.
    Aside from this, I've read others writing that sometimes their PMOing is not caused so much by an urge, but rather a habit. I have been experiencing the same and I have identified some "triggers" that can encourage me to PMO. Though something else I observed in myself is that my urges are not always proper sexual urges. But rather they are memories or instances of me thinking back to how euphoric PMO once felt, but does not anymore. Regardless PM is something that's inherently damaging, short term & shallow, and if I had a chance to repeat my life, I would avoid it altogether.

    (I wrote this yesterday but completed it today because it was getting late and I went to sleep).
     
  8. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    Amazing self-analysis @L1ster :emoji_clap:

    I tried writing down my feelings in an app called Daylio - it helps you track what activities you do in a day and track your moods.

    You can see trends in your moods such as when I have relapsed I see a reduction in my mood for like the next 3 days - going from a 7+ on average to like a 5 'meh' mood.

    I will also get into the habit of writing affirmations every morning on what I want to achieve in the day, how I will not relapse to pmo and reasons why - only very brief like taking 5 mins in the morning.

    Meditation has also been a saint for me recently - I read the book BLISS MORE by light, which has helped my develop a more relaxing practice. Essentially this book takes the stereotype cross legged, straight backed - really uncomfortable and difficult meditation to something that people actually want to do

    I have noticed from this about being able to deal with stress and urges better outside of the meditation
     
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  9. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Doing well, but my mood is in the tank and I've been very tired the last couple of days. I'm pretty discouraged about this - I know part of it has to do with going through some withdrawals - but there are other parts too.

    I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform as well, in my job and other side ventures. Sometimes, I truly don't know how to slow down, though I feel I used to be better at this.

    Great to read your thoughts @L1ster. Good to hear you're keeping on @Halibut! That app sounds interesting.
     
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  10. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    2-26-20: Day 1
    • I relapsed quite a bit these past few days, but made it through my first day today. Although I did have urges, I talked myself out of them.
    • I have also been wondering: What if I see quitting PM as a “game” instead of a battle? I am saying this because it might be a lot less stressful on me if I change my mindset.
    • There was this old NoFap video I watched and it had a lot of really good tips. If it is allowed, can I link it?
     
  11. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    By all means @Journey to Resilience , that sounds useful

    Day 23

    It is around this time that I get complacent - the whole nofap journey gets put to the side line, its gets easier to think - I deserve just a peak right?

    I have been getting urges in the evenings when I find myself alone and nothing really to do

    It pretty much boils down to having a wrong relationship with boredom.

    Its ok to be bored, being bored encourages creativity - but we have so many things to prevent us being bored - phones, social media...pmo...

    got 4 12hour shifts coming up so that should prevent me from having much alone bored time!
     
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  12. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    This is the link I was talking about:
     
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  13. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Wow... so the last 5 days I've had the worst withdrawals, most of them were mentally withdrawals which are the worst. I was feeling irritability, lots of frustration, times where I can't think straight, black circles under eyes, mood swings, anxiety, some depression, and even broke down once because I just felt so frustrated. The one thing I can't understand is that I don't even know why I'm frustrated, but I just felt in my body that I'm very frustrated. I know that sounds weird, but that's the best way I can describe it.

    Today I feel somewhat better but I'll be damned if I go back to those withdrawals today or soon enough. I don't want to feel like trash, because it really pushes me to the brink of wanting to punch the wall. The whole time as I was negative, the thought of relapsing would pop up, but I always shoved it away so easily because I know I'm being deceived, and that in the end I'm just going to feel worse.

    Currently at day 37. Going to forget those bad days and focus on this day.
     
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  14. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    2-27-20: Day 2
    • Had less urges than normal. I was mostly working that day.
    • I just found out that Terry Crews (,the Old Spice guy,) had a porn addiction! Needless to say, I was really surprised and thought he'd be the last person to go through that kind of hardship. I know there's videos of him recording his progress and giving advice. If I find them, I will certainly link them here!
     
  15. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    Keep up the good work! You're doing a whole lot better than I am. 38 days is waaaay out of my reach at the moment.
     
  16. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    *LEADERBOARD HAS BEEN UPDATED*

    Day 25

    Feeling good, starting to see more of the benefits that I saw in the first week come back - like my hormones are settling out

    -More confidence
    -More relaxed
    -Less over-thinking

    Also question for the group:

    *Who would be interested in doing a No Nut March challenge?*

    I have set up another leader board on the OP, so everyone can be involved regardless of how many days you currently have

    It will be a last man standing format: If you relapse you are removed from the March leaderboard

    The normal day-counter leaderboard will stay the same

    A bit short notice, march obviously starting tomorrow so I can set up the leaderboard with all group members names
    - just let me know if you dont want to be on it.

    If it is popular enough then we can have monthly challenges

    My thinking is the more reasons why not to relapse the better and to appeal to our innate competitive natures!!

    Nothing is out of your reach man - keep on fighting!
     
    Last edited: Feb 29, 2020
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  17. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like a great idea! Count me in!
     
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  18. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    I'm up for that challenge as well @Halibut

    So today I've been feeling pretty well. All those negative symptoms really lasted for 7 days! At some moments I would feel a bit better, but then I would go back to feeling like trash some time later.

    Also... this is an unusual withdrawal I've had for the first time yesterday night - but I woke up in the middle of the night with a major 'hard on' accompanied with heavy urges and high sensitivity that lasted for an hour. I still have no idea how something like that happened, but I guess it was my brain's final attempt for now to make me give up and relapse? Because just today I've noticed I finally got that sharp and well-rested look on my face. Honestly, I'm fired up to make the best of March
     
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  19. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    *START OF THE NO NUT/ NO PMO MARCH CHALLENGE!*

    Let the games begin!

    No relapsing during March, last man standing - how many of us will be on the board at the end of the month??
    (hopefully all of us!)

    Good luck guys, stay strong, use this competition as another reason why not to relapse!

    Lets make March a PMO- free month!

    Good to see you guys are on board!
     
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  20. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    3-2-20: Day 2
    • Starting No Nut March Challenge. I am excited to participate in my first NoFap challenge. I don't really expect to complete it, but I will be happy if I can at least have a 7-days. Although I will certainly aim for the full challenge.
    • No noteworthy temptations. I was too busy working on something and I also got sick again. @[email protected]
    • I just reconnected with a sponsor from SCA. A sponsor is the equivalent of an Accountability Partner in NoFap, but with a mentor/mentee type of dynamic. The idea is to have both online and physical components to recovery. If you are interested in going to SCA meetings, I will link the website below.
    SCA Main Site:
    https://sca-recovery.org/WP/
    SCA Meetings Search:
    https://sca-recovery.org/WP/meetings/
     
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