Any Age Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Halibut, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone, hope we are doing well!

    Sorry for my absence, I have been very busy at work and had tested positive for the corona virus last week

    It has been a hell of a time feeling ill, having urges and bad withdrawal symptoms these past couple of weeks, but I feel if I can get through that then there is nothing I cant go through!

    A bit of a late start but I will be running the Abstinence April challenge! You are all on board - lets see you there at the end of April!

    These are strange and difficult times, being forced into self-isolations, lockdowns and the stress of the current world situation can make relapsing appear at the front of your mind - but remember you have been sent your greatest challenge - lets say we got through it together!

    Stay safe, stay indoors, don't beat your meat!

    Leaderboard:

    1| @Legit1 (77):emoji_trophy:
    2| @pourover24 (60) :emoji_medal:
    3| @GKDOES (53):emoji_military_medal:
    4| @Misha4blues97 (47)
    5| @Vitabella (46)
    6| @FeelDark (28)
    7| @Misty1984 (20)
    8| @31Jan2020 (18)
    9| @Halibut (13)
    10|
    @L1ster (13)
    11| @Narzisse (6)
    12| @Accountability Bud (4)
    13| @Journey to Resilience (1)
    14| @SelfLoathingMillennial (0)
    15|

    *ABSTINENCE APRIL CHALLENGE*

    Last man standing - relapse and you are out

    1| @Narzisse
    2| @Legit1
    3| @Halibut
    4| @pourover24
    5| @GKDOES
    6| @Misha4blues97
    7| @Accountability Bud
    8| @Vitabella
    9| @L1ster

    10| @SelfLoathingMillennial
    11| @FeelDark
    12|@Misty1984
    13| @Journey to Resilience
    14| @31Jan2020
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2020
  2. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys - doing well here. Its hard being in quarantine - but I've been gaining strength in some different ways. Urges are still there though - I have to stay on my guard basically all the time still.

    Also, I've been very busy and tired with schooling our kids now - and figuring out how that will work out schedule-wise with my wife.
     
  3. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Have you tried some fasting there and there? If you have to eat anything, eat something light like fruits and berries if you're hungry and make sure you're hydrated. I know this is sounds too simple to be strong and effective, but your body will give all its energy on getting your body back to normal. If you're vomiting, sweating, have a runny nose, or have nausea -- just let the natural course run through since all these symptoms are a part of your body purging the bad stuff out. Stay strong, brother! I'm rooting for you!

    @Halibut https://londonreal.tv/the-coronavir...e-your-rights-destroy-our-economy-david-icke/
    Check that video out. I'm only at the 25 minute mark and it sounds very interesting and also reliable as I'm watching it. Also, I'm not a huge "conspiracy theorist" as I myself don't believe everything that is said, I just observe and keep it in my head just in case if light is ever shed on it. Long story short, I found that video on YouTube before YouTube deleted that video twice from LondonReal, and then YouTube even deleted two 5-6 minute clips where LondonReal titled it as "." and also because they were the most critical scenes from the interview. And now a lot of people are backing this small news outlet because they're being censored. There's a lot of heat on this company from BBC apparently as well... and EVEN Instagram isn't letting people tag the interviewee and the interviewer. Something very fishy is going on.
     

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Apr 8, 2020
  4. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    I am well and back at work now thanks @Legit1 , luckily just had mild symptoms

    I have heard bits about this video and as far as I am aware this is the guy linking covid-19 to 5g towers and encouraging the burning of these towers and saying that the covid vaccine will contain 'nanotechnology micro chips'.

    I have not watched the video so there maybe some interesting points but to me this would threaten the lockdown policy, reducing the effectiveness of isolation, encouraging arson and reducing the chance that people will take a vaccine when introduced which would provide immunity to millions of vulnerable people.

    I work for the ambulance service on the front lines and its mad out there people should treat this lockdown seriously, staying indoors where-ever possible and not spreading this virus.
     
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  5. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    I used to think this guy was a pathetic and crazy guy who craves attention, but not anymore. I don't believe everything he still says because it does sounds crazy as f*ck but this guy's predictions have actually happened there and there.

    Still haven't finished the video but that 20 minute to 30 minute mark was very interesting.
     
  6. L1ster

    L1ster Fapstronaut

    @Halibut
    Oh man, I am glad you handled that coronavirus well. You seem like a very rational dude so I'm sure you approached it cool-headed. Also, I am certain your new nofap self handled it 10x better than whoever you were before would. Regardless, I hope we can agree that whatever any one of us is facing, whether it be addiction, sickness or anything else, in this group we are all rooting for each other. Stay strong everyone! (And listen to Halibut: please self-isolate yourselves).
     
    Halibut likes this.
  7. L1ster

    L1ster Fapstronaut

    I'm now on day 16...
    WOW, I'm on day sixteen! That's just amazing!! I don't think I ever abstained that long since I started watching pornography and masturbating. On that thought, that's why I have no idea what lies ahead and how it will feel – so wish me luck. Currently though, I feel relatively little relapse urges and I guess also far less day-to-day "sexual energy" than usual. (I.e. what one feels 1st week following relapse). Though when I do get urges, they are not nearly what I would call "natural" but rather just flashbacks and memories of what masturbating to pornography felt like.

    Unfortunately, by removing PMO I have not gained as much free time as I could have, because I chose to spend far too much of that newly freed time pointlessly in-front of the computer and playing videogames. Which I guess means that I might be in the process of replacing one addiction for another. This is not good but despite me knowing what would make me feel more accomplished, it often is difficult to choose doing that thing. Because I either feel "too tiered" or, for example, just want to play "one more round" of a given videogame. Also even if I am doing something my conscience advises me to, doing that thing might feel *uncomfortable* for a variety of reasons. Such as, maybe I did not get enough sleep last night. Or my mind is tired and hyperactive from staring at a screen for too long. Or maybe doing nofap also contributes to this – I have no clue as I don't even know when I last felt truly normal.

    Despite this I somehow manage to actually function; i.e. do schoolwork and actually get rather high grades. Yet, I feel like since as far as I can remember, my mind has been drugged by all the stimuli and chaos surrounding me.

    I often think that my life is in a way, a repeating struggle. I struggle to get all my school tasks done on-time, while in the meantime I scramble to get my next hit of dopamine... and that's basically it. But whatever, this is just life's tutorial level and I am probably quite privileged to even have one. Which is why I just wish to fix everything that makes me feel like a train-wreck before entering adulthood.

    But still, in the moment that can be kinda difficult. I don't know if you'll get what I mean but lately I feel like I don't know what to do with myself to feel content. I just feel uncomfortable all day. This is especially the case when I have vacation and am not in school – which was the case for the entirety of this week.

    In conclusion, I might have to also apply the principles of rebooting to playing videogames, etc. But I fear doing that and nofap at once would be too much to handle?? What do you guys think about that?
     
  8. L1ster

    L1ster Fapstronaut

    Guys! Guys I think I found a solution to some of those problems I wrote about in my previous check-in. To backtrack a little, the main reason why I often find it difficult to feel "content" during my normal day-to-day existing is without a doubt because I have become too used to high dopamine giving activities. This includes PMOing, playing videogames, browsing the internet, watching movies/videos, listening to music/podcasts, etc.

    Thankfully, I watched a internet video which informed me of an awesome strategy I can employ to detox myself. That being to choose at least one day of the week to entirely avoid the activity/activities of one's choosing. The idea behind this is similar to NoFap rebooting, but can instead be used for activities one chooses to not *entirely* remove from their day-to-day life. (For me such activities would include using the computer, watching normal entertainment and listening to music/podcasts).

    Here are both invidio and youtube links to that video:
    https://www.invidio.us/watch?v=9QiE-M1LrZk


    The video also suggested that if one chooses to engaging in high dopamine giving activities, that should be done at the end of the day. So as to not interfere with your motivation to also do more productive things. I think this is something very useful, as I have noticed that I feel and function much better when I for example choose to play a videogame at the end of a day, instead of any time prior.

    Anyhow, I believe that many of us exhibit multiple habits (apart from PMO) which can make us feel and function less than optimally. Furthermore, I believe sorting out not just one but multiple of those negative or habits at once can positively reinforce one's overall self-improvement process. While also helping prevent replacing one addiction for another. Which is something I was sort of doing with playing more videogames, instead of PMOing.

    So, from now on I plan on having a boredom day every Saturday. (But since I already did spend some of today indulging in contemporary pleasures, I will repeat this boredom ritual tomorrow too).

    Also, I am aware my posts are often kinda long... but I hope that's ok?
     
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  9. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Interesting. Keep it up, bro! You got this!

    Also, I'm now at day 81. Yesterday I was feeling good for the most part, until later on at night. I felt very unstable mentally-wise. I needed to take a 2nd cold shower that day in order to stabilize myself, but it really didn't help much, because the water wasn't cold as I wanted. I just felt so frustrated as well, that I wished that water was freezing cold where I can't stand it. But whatever... the day is done and I'm honestly feeling way much better today. We must always keep our guard up and brace ourselves for these type of days, because they're just bound to happen.

    Update: Also been feeling a ton of sexual energy within myself. I know that I'm absolutely not going to relapse, because it'll only lead to pure negativity as usual. So I'm just going to embrace it and keep on moving with my day.
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2020
  10. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Day 84. Man... I'm not proud to say this but I've been watching porn lately. The boredom I've been experiencing lately is at a new level, and then the mood swings that arrive aren't in my favor.

    Throughout the day I've been feeling anger physically leaving my body. I can't explain this that well, but sometimes when I'm standing in place, I feel a sense of heat leaving my body and at the same time I'm just feeling plain anger. I'm going to do a meditation session in a bit in hope it'll calm me down or anything to make me feel better mentally-wise
     
  11. Iamm

    Iamm Fapstronaut

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    I've read the rules, and would like to become an AP.
    I'm a 19 year old male from india.please add me to this group
     
  12. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    Checking in today. I relapsed yesterday as well as a few days before. I'm starting to come back to my senses. I was generally productive this week although I believe I could always do better.
     
  13. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Day 90. I wish I could say that I've been feeling better, but that's not the case here. I felt like I was going down yesterday, but today is a whole other level of feeling negative. I feel like my brain is giving it it's all to make me relapse... I never get headaches, I think I've only gotten about 3 headaches or so in my life, but today I've been having a very bad headache that's honestly bringing me down. It doesn't feel good and now I've been getting the want to relapse...

    I've been feeling quite badly about myself, on how I've messed myself up with this addiction... if I knew what I was getting into when I was younger, I know I would've never have went down this road. Just feel so much regret right now...
     
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  14. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Update: I'll never understand how I have ups and downs so quickly, where one day I feel like absolute trash and then the next day I'm feeling much better.

    The headache I was having yesterday was a bad one. Once I woke up, I felt my head was in pain from sleeping in one position the whole night. Right now I still feel some minor pain, but it's definitely gotten better. Yesterday, the pain was feeling so badly that I felt like I was going to go insane from it... so I immediately took a cold shower to get an adrenaline rush and forget that pain for a bit. It ended up working for a while, but then the pain arrived like an hour later.

    I'm still going to keep on going! I honestly don't want to stop even though I've gotten my ass kicked so much during this streak. It just has to get better, right?
     
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  15. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    On Day 3. I will finish Day 4 in 35 minutes. I am feeling apprehensive right now because I have to stay a late night today for some work I have to turn in. I did have temptations on various points of the day, especially some stronger ones towards evening. I warded them off with distractions. I just hope I am going to be okay within this time since late nights are my greatest weakness when it comes to relapse.

    I hope to at least reach 9 or 10 days on average. But for now, I'll take it one moment at a time.
     
  16. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    Finished Day 4. Working on Day 5. I slept at 1am and woke up with strong temptations at 5am. Couldn't sleep well since. I am feeling okay now. No temptations currently. I will sleep when I get the chance. I'll also let you know how I am doing at the end of the day.
     
  17. Journey to Resilience

    Journey to Resilience Fapstronaut

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    It's the end of the day for me and I am doing better. I mainly distracted myself from temptations with prayer and other activities. I thought it was going to go much worse, but I am surprised it went as well as it did. I did look at P briefly, but quickly stopped. No full-relapse though.
     
  18. L1ster

    L1ster Fapstronaut

    Congratulations @Legit1 on reaching a streak of +100 days! I think its an astounding achievement far beyond anything I have ever achieved this far. By reading your posts I know that your journey has and likely still continues to be a tough struggle but that just makes your achievement even more impressive. I am absolutely certain that if you continue this commitment you will eventually recover entirely from those disgusting chains of this addiction. There's no question about it!
     
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  19. L1ster

    L1ster Fapstronaut

    I relapsed yesterday (PMO). So, just to put it out there, I def did not manage to complete the April abstinence challenge. Also to be honest, there have been times when I looked at P or edged, especially further on in my streak. Regardless, I am proud of how I after all managed to retain a streak of 37 (which is my new record, last was about 2-3 weeks I think). I cannot express just how incredible managing to do that felt. Anyways I will feel very positively about choosing to continue this journey and this time I will try even harder not to even think about the filth I want to leave behind.
     
  20. Legit1

    Legit1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot for the motivational words! Yes, I passed the 100 day mark and now I'm at 101 days.

    What I find the most toughest in my journey is those constant shifts where I'm feeling good for 3-5 days, but then there's the shift where I feel like trash, negative, and feel like most of the benefits have dissapeared. I end up having mood swings, mental fog, anxiety rises, fatigue, and even some sort of depression. I don't know if anyone else gets these sort of phases or if it's just me... if it's just me, then so be it... everyone is different and I can't do anything about it, except to brace myself and ride it out.
     
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