Any Age Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Halibut, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Urges are starting to kick in - I just opened up a familiar site and then quickly escaped before going anywhere. It just seems that if I don't keep track of every thought in my brain, my thoughts are suddenly becoming sexual in nature. This always seems to happen after 4-7 days of going strong. The eventual pattern finds me breaking down under the exhausting cycle of trying to break my brain away from these thoughts.

    I also have found myself feeling pretty low about other things in my life over these past two days. I don't know for certain, but based on what I've read about withdrawal, the feeling of being generally sad/depressed is something others have had to cope with. It's like, these are things that I normally might get a little bummed about - but just haven't been able to shake in the same way this weekend. As the cycle goes, when I feel low - I tend to try to find something to cheer me up. When I try to find things to cheer me up, sometimes I crack open a beer. Or, sometimes, I'll just decide to try and find some P and E a bit. I need to battle through these feelings of lowness.

    I'm also pretty tired today after staying up a bit too late last night - so I'm moving a bit slow. My plan is to go to bed at a better time tonight.

    @Halibut: Boredom and lack of motivation is also something I face during this time - so I think I am similar to where you are right now. I love the idea of a bike ride. Good work on going that route.

    @RTBFOP: Thanks for the encouragement my man, yeah - it always seems like a fun idea to go too far in the moment - but I regret it the next morning. The next morning can often be the worst time for me to be triggered because I feel so out of it.
     
    Pashka likes this.
  2. bebetter1312

    bebetter1312 Fapstronaut

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    Check in, i relapsed. I dont know what overcame me but i just gave into it. I dont know what to say right now, pretty much going into a downward shame spiral.
     
    Pashka likes this.
  3. mindseyeopen

    mindseyeopen Fapstronaut

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    Checkin in. Made it to two weeks, and now the urges are getting strong. I have no doubt that this is one of the hardest addictions to kick. My desire to watch porn is so high, but my focus will not be broken. “Ain’t no mountain high enough”
     
    Pashka likes this.
  4. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    I know its hard and discouraging man, but don't beat yourself up. None of us here judge you for it - as we can all attest that this issue is incredibly difficult to kick. Keep fighting.
     
  5. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Edged last night - it was youtube content - I'm frustrated. But I've had 5 solid days and almost made it through a really low day yesterday. I've got to keep going and push through the valleys.
     
  6. RTBFOP

    RTBFOP Fapstronaut

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    @bebetter1312 We can all relate to the shame you are feeling. Best thing you can do is use it. And what I mean by that is right now when you are feeling that way really focus and take it all in. Next time around when you are about to break think about that feeling and use it as a drive to avoid the game your brain plays on you when you're about the relapse. There is a quote from a podcast I listen to that I really like. "Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." Quitting PMO isn't going to be easy but at least you are trying. No one is perfect and as you can see from thousands of others this takes time. You fell down it happens, get back up learn from your mistakes this time and use that feeling of shame to drive you in your goal to become PMO free. You don't have to feel that shame and when you beat PMO addiction that shame will be a thing of the past.

    @pourover24 Hang in there buddy. Might be time to block Youtube for awhile. I know it sucks but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. Maybe you cant for you job though?
     
  7. Realquiter

    Realquiter Fapstronaut

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    PMOd tonight after 3 days. Trying to reach one week without pm. Restarting my streak
     
  8. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    Ending up relapsing today - my brain just seemed to takeover. The boredom finally seemed to get to me and pmoed as it is something I knew I would enjoy. Seems so daft and pointless on the other side. I have just noticed that when on the first few weeks of a streak my brain seems to make everything boring except pmo. That makes it seem so irresistible. I have been to 90 days before - years ago now and I know that the enjoyment in the little things do come back.

    Has made me feel really low and guilt ridden after though, as I knew it would. I have to try and use some more active preventative measures this time around. Do you guys have any ideas? I live on my own which doesnt seem to help. It seems to easy to just pick up the laptop and hey ho. I have tried ideas like, the laptop has to stay in the kitchen and things like that but my brain easily over rides the rules I set.
     
  9. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    It the low days I really struggle with so know the feeling. It seems like the only thing that would cheer me up is pmo at the time as your guard is down
     
    Realquiter likes this.
  10. Magic Mikee

    Magic Mikee Fapstronaut

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    I know it depends on the person but do you guys know on average how long flatline periods last? I hate not having libido i swear girls can sense it fuckin sucks
     
  11. Magic Mikee

    Magic Mikee Fapstronaut

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    Its like if thers one universal thing that turns a girl off is a guy with no libido
     
    Tyler6714 likes this.
  12. Pashka

    Pashka Fapstronaut

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    No shame, no shame at all. You are here fighting. Very few people can say they are even trying to overcome their demons.
     
  13. Pashka

    Pashka Fapstronaut

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    Check in - Can't quite seem to crack the 7-day nut. Relapsed today just to make the urges stop for a while. There isn't any easy answer but to feel the discomfort and stay away from PMO until it passes.
     
    Halibut likes this.
  14. Mojodohdoh

    Mojodohdoh Fapstronaut

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    Hi @Halibut it seems like your AP group is full, so I decided to open a new one, can I copy this group format? :D I am so excited to start a group with a good response like this
     
  15. RTBFOP

    RTBFOP Fapstronaut

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    Question for everyone. Have you set any consequences for yourselves when you relapse? I never used to either. Just felt guilt and shame afterwards then reset back to zero. Setting consequences is something I started recently after learning it from someone who is 5 years recovered from PMO. I will explain mine. My girlfriend has a cat that used to spend most of its time inside. It recently started pissing all over the house for no reason so I kicked it outside. Which my girlfriend agreed with. My consequence if I relapse the cat comes back inside for 30 days. Sounds silly but I don't want that cat back inside and that is just one more thing to keep me on track. If I do relapse I will be reminded everyday for 30 days what I did as the cat lives inside and probably pisses all over. Consequences give you something to think about before you relapse then plague you for how ever long you set them for after a relapse. I think 30 days is a good time limit for whatever your consequence is. I know mine is somewhat different but come up with something be creative. Something that wont kill you but will defiantly stick with you and remind you of why you don't want to relapse. The cat deal is my first consequence. My second .. If I happen to relapse the cat comes inside if I relapse again in that next 30 days I have to donate $100 to the local Animal shelter for cats. If you are making a connection my girlfriend loves cats and she helped come up with these. All I can say is they have been a valuable tool in keeping me from PMO. Just something to think about. Like ive said before desperate times call for desperate measures. IF you continue to relapse over and over again like I did all the times in the past you have to come up with a new approach.
     
    PolarOtter and Mojodohdoh like this.
  16. PolarOtter

    PolarOtter Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. I have a new project deployment at work tomorrow (I'll need to be in the office at 7AM) and I woke up and can't to get back to sleep. In the past, I would have used PMO or MO as nature's sedative, but now, because I made a commitment to myself that any sexual behavior will only occur with my partner (who is temporarily living out-of-state for work) and I refuse to touch myself... I'm struggling.
     
  17. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    Yes mate, thats not a problem, all the best with the group
     
  18. Mojodohdoh

    Mojodohdoh Fapstronaut

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    Thanks!
     
  19. SteveUk

    SteveUk Fapstronaut

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    Another week, another check in
    All good so far, interestingly today is the first day where there been no temptation either. I did find myself wanting to be tempted at one point, but kinda stopped myself.

    So 3 weeks in now, another 5 to go until I will start believing I can beat this thing! But I have hope right now, and each day it grows!
     
    Halibut likes this.
  20. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    The first week is bloody hard mate, I would say the first 3 days is the hardest. It is very tempting to just binge. I dont know why but from there the 14day and 21day mark seems the hard milestones. From there things seem to get a lot easier. Just need to get past these hard stages @Pashka, but never let our guard down
     
    Pashka likes this.

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