Any Age Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Halibut, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    I absolutely know what you mean about the brain making everything seem so boring other than PMO! I struggle with the same thing - its so frustrating. I can wander through my day just trying to find something to make my heart beat. I find that it takes a ton of hard work to find even one thing that can feel engaging on these days. And then I can quickly drift back into boredom. I wish I knew how to combat this - but I truly think that it will improve only with time and perseverence. Its a withdrawal symptom that is common out of a lot of different ones. I've alse been researching other withdrawal symptoms and have noticed that there are a TON - it helps knowing that there are thousands of us who have walked through these tough times to better times and clearer minds on the other side.

    As far as your laptop comment - personally for me, I've long ago given up trying to summon the willpower to just not look at porn when I easily could just open up my browser, enter one search term and its game over. I would suggest checking out an app - you can find it at "Freedom.to". This app has been a lifesaver for me, as it allows me to block the websites that I choose during certain time increments. If I activate a certain setting, it is impossible for me to "unlock" those websites until the session is over. I've actually built my own massive list of websites that I have always blocked (for good reason).

    Another option to check out is an accountability software such as covenant eyes. It can be an extra motivator to stop yourself because you know that a partner that you choose is going to be getting your report.
     
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  2. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Anything that stands out that has worked for you so far?
     
  3. SteveUk

    SteveUk Fapstronaut

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    Honestly having a really good AP who checks up on me daily around the time I told him I usually get tempted. Also it is worth mentioning that the PMO cycle isn't what I am beating here, although I am loosely trying that too. But mainly it is the fact that it has led to me using escorts for a couple of years and I want to stop that.

    Actually another thing I have found, I think, being open and honest about it has been a real help. It's no longer hidden (at least here) so can talk openly about it and garner support etc.
     
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  4. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    Glad to know its not just only me! I have been getting to the gym and working out hard over the last couple of days and this has seemed to help, I have been more productive and happier in general. As much as these withdrawal symptoms suck, we need to just fight through them as they will reduce in intensity in time - what I need to keep reminding myself.

    Thanks, will check those apps out!
     
  5. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Solid day. I've been working on replacing our deck today - so didn't have much time. I did have about an hour at home alone today - and the thought crossed my mind that I could do something. I took this very initial thought in my brain very seriously and made an effort to stay away from my computer - basically becoming aware of the thought before it became a ridiculous urge.

    Has anyone felt that they've found positive ways to deal with urges/fantasies in the mind?

    Rest of the day was great after that - a lot of manual labor today which is good for the mind.
     
  6. mindseyeopen

    mindseyeopen Fapstronaut

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    Checkin’ in. It’s started to get a bit rough the last couple of days. The temptation to watch porn is insidiously creeping in. So far, so good though. This group has actually been a big help. Sorry to hear about some of your relapses, guys. I’ve found that anytime I start to fantasize, I imagine putting those thoughts into a black box, and hurling the box into the deep of space. Also, whenever I’m tempted to watch porn, I come to this site, and check in, or read other people’s journals. Usually, by the time I’m done I’ve lost the urge to relapse. Good luck y’all!
     
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  7. PolarOtter

    PolarOtter Fapstronaut

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    Doing okay here... have a good weekend guys!
     
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  8. Magic Mikee

    Magic Mikee Fapstronaut

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    Ive gone the longest that ive ever gone without pmo. Id belying if i said i felt any diffrent but im glad im taking contol of this addiction. I still cant get a boner but i hope that heals at some point in this journey. Stay strong brothers and remember long term health is way superior to short term satisfaction.
     
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  9. freedomispossible

    freedomispossible Fapstronaut

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    check in today.

    These past few days, I've barely had any urges but after I watched a show today that had some triggers, I had some mad urges and was so close to M but luckily I got a distraction which kept me away from the thoughts and now i'm back to normal.
     
  10. RTBFOP

    RTBFOP Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. I made 14 days. I have made 14 days before but I didn't feel as good as i do this time around. In the past I was just trying to quit PMO and not replacing it with anything. This time my approach is much different. I can't stress the "to break a habit you have to make a habit" enough. You can't just take away ,PMO, the most rewarding and pleasing thing you have been feeling for who knows how long and not put something in its place. All that will do is drive you crazy and your brain will win in the fight when it comes to urges and bad days. In place of PMO I have put exercise, reading books, eating healthy, getting projects done that ive put off for years, volunteering and helping close friends. Started putting passion into my job instead of just showing up like I used to. Talking and actually listening to people. I go to bed early and get up early instead of staying up all night and sleeping in. I have made a real effort to block all access to porn which I talked about in an early post. I used to fantasize and M in the shower alot in the past. Now when i shower i set a timer. 4 minutes. That is just enough time to get everything I need to get done in the shower and not give me any extra time to even think about MO. One more thing I did that really helped.... I told someone about my PMO addiction I was fighting. I opened up to a good friend about it. I don't feel like I'm in hiding anymore. Its tough but it did help. For those of you that make it a awhile then fall down, give some of these things a try. You have to find something to replace the habit of PMO. I didn't come up with all this stuff on my own. I also listen to a podcast that I have found to be a HUGE help in giving me direction. Don't know if its against the rules to post in on here or not but its been very helpful for me so here it is. Its called Pornfree Radio on apple podcast. Hope everyone has a great weekend.
     
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  11. fixer1990

    fixer1990 Fapstronaut

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    I have read thoroughly the rules and im ready to join.
    27 from Africa
     
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  12. Magic Mikee

    Magic Mikee Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed today. I didnt whatch actual porn but i dont think it makes any diffrence. I was whatching a youtube video and it ended up having hot girls in it and i came pretty much right away. I didnt even have to masturbate. I am super sensitive to any stimulation i think i need to do this next reboot without any internet. My initial intention of whatching the video was whatching a comedian do funny stunts but girls in bikinis appared in the video and i pretty much couldnt stop myself from orgasm. Lesson learned from this attempt is i must stay away from whatching anything online.
     
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  13. Realquiter

    Realquiter Fapstronaut

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    IMPORTANT (a bit long but bear with me)

    Hey guys, I’m doing well myself but I pmoed yesterday again and I thought to myself do you really want to quit this addiction? And the answer was yes. So I looked for ways to block porn on my mac and iphone. On my iPhone, I used web restrictions and it actually works like a charm because you set a password to modify the changes. So I got my friend to set a password on my phone for restrictions(told him it was to reduce my time on social media) and now for me to watch porn on my phone, I’d have to ask him the password which I’m not going to do.
    On my mac on the other hand, I manage to block porn by adding 2 DNS on my Mac internet connection which magically for some reasons to block porn websites but it’s less effective as I can delete the 2 DNS anytime I decide to watch porn. But I believe it will do the trick because the extra steps(deleting the DNS )I’d have to do to watch porn will remind me on why I set them up in the first place and give me a stronger feeling of betraying myself.

    To conclude my post, as I seen a lot of you guys including me relapsing lately, I advise you guys to block all porn access. Only then you can prove to yourself that you’re really serious about quitting porn because just doing that might be hard to do as you know after doing so you will no longer have access to porn and a part of you don’t want that. Therefore this is the first step we all should take. And it’s better if you can’t unblock porn access yourself so find someone to set a password or a way to not being able to do so.

    I really think this is an important part of our journey. Because when you’ll have urges as we all know they happen and maybe normally would relapse since you have access to porn it’s just way harder for you to relapse for the extra steps it will take you to unblock porn to satisfy your urges will help to discourage you to do so.


    I didn’t think my post would be so long but as I was typing I wanted to give you guys a detail advice on how to keep your streak alive and fight your addiction.

    We got thissss!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
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  14. RTBFOP

    RTBFOP Fapstronaut

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    @Realquiter I know what you mean about long posts. Have you seen some of mine lately. I find myself just typing and it takes whole page to get out what I have to say. Sometimes I wonder if people just scroll past them because they are so long. I read you whole post. You are on the right track, for me getting someone to set the password on my phone was HUGE. Maybe you read my page long post about what else you need to quit. I feel know removing PMO and not replacing it will continue to lead to relapse. Find those new healthy rewarding habits to put in place of PMO so your brain doesn't win next time there is a fight over PMO. I had another page long post about relapsing. It sucks. But instead of beating yourself up, learn from it. Stay strong buddy. I check in here everyday and when I have something on my mind or something I have that is working I post it. 10 words or 10 pages. Get on here and vent when you need to it my help also. I love that you call it an addiction. That was a big step for me. Admitting I had an addiction and not just some little problem. I can tell you are serious about quitting for good. We will get there together. One day at a time.
     
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  15. Realquiter

    Realquiter Fapstronaut

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    I did read your posts. Your advice on replacing porn with healthy habits it’s definitely a great advice. I haven’t really found one yet as I am too busy with studying and working out but during the summer I definitely plan on adding hobbies I’m thinking of getting a membership the pool and starting dancing again.

    Yes admitting it’s an addiction is definitely a big step in realizing that porn indeed has bad effects on our lives.

    I couldn’t agree more. One day a time we will get free. :)
     
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  16. Magic Mikee

    Magic Mikee Fapstronaut

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    Im trying to replace the habit with reading and working out. I feel like my biggest struggle from here on out is staying away from p subs. It does the same exact thing to your brain but its easy to rationalize that its not a relapse. I am commiting to not whaching anything because its so easy to whatch a sexually stimulating show or movie and then tell yourself woow im doing great by not relapsing but thats classic self deception.
     
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  17. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Busy weekend so I didn't have any real opportunity and have come through it cleanly.

    Feeling a little anxious right now about the week ahead, and what my plan will be for completing the things I need to. I think I need to take some alone time and quiet time to try to settle my mind. My mind just feels cluttered and like it's going in a million directions. Small worries are just pricking at me.

    A lot of times, the urge to avoid this uncomfortable space is what makes porn sound so appealing. But I truly believe this feeling - brain fog and anxiety - is a part of the complex pass I must walk to get to the other side of this porn struggle.

    Carry on! So thankful for all of you!
     
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  18. Pashka

    Pashka Fapstronaut

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    I really resonate with what you said about rationalizing. It is amazing the excuses I have given myself. Congrats on building good habits. I am meeting a friend at the gym in half an hour, so I will be safe tonight.
     
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  19. pourover24

    pourover24 Fapstronaut

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    Disappointed that I relapsed just now. It was definitely not true porn, but basically, instagram style clothed pics on a computer. Nonetheless, edged and then O'd. I am disappointed right now that I faced a really hard day in terms of my dopamine levels and motivation levels both being in the toilet. Felt sluggish. This is the type of day I always mess up on, and I knew it and I still messed up. I'm also bummed that I let down this community.

    Couple positives. It was very short, as opposed to the sometimes 2-4 hours (spread throughout the day) times of edging that I have had in the past. I was extremely sensitive, and I think it goes to show that my body is making some progress.

    In the future, I am going to work harder to prevent myself being alone in front of a computer on days that I already know are very tough.
     
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  20. Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut

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    I see progress @pourover24, yes you may have relapsed, but like you say it was not to porn. And each time you are quick to reflect on what has happened and what you can to prevent it - which we can all learn from. You are better to fight this addiction after this relapse from what you have learned. This journey isnt a smooth ride, which I know all too well and we all have set backs, you havent let anyone down.
     

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