Anybody into helping each other using male chastity cages for stopping masturbation?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Guy gay, Nov 30, 2018.

  1. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    To be honest, I was doing the chastity thing around the time I found NoFap and was using it as a fetish and then to help me reboot. Then I realized (after really trying and wanting to change) that wearing the chastity was not the ultimate way of rebooting. Maybe it helped initially, I don't know, or maybe it fed into my fetish at the time, but now I don't use anything at all. No chastity, no P blockers, I do not crave porn, sex has improved soooo much, and life is overall better. I'm 99% rebooted, still have rare fantasy/fetish flashbacks, and I'm confident I will reach 90 days without any hiccups. Thoughts of fetishes have become less and less. In fact I plan to never watch P for the rest of my life and I can say that without flinching. I still M around once every week or two and still O with my partner. I understand this is a process you have to go through and I hope one day you can get over the need for chastity, but that will happen once you start to really want to reboot and putting in real effort. Good luck my friends.
     
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  2. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Would you say the same thing about porn blockers?
     
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  3. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    It’s (chastity) brought my wife and I closer together.
     
  4. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    That's interesting. I've occasionally read this same thing from others (on a different forum). Was this before or after you found NoFap?
     
  5. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    NoFap and chastity sort of went hand in hand........one augmenting the other.
     
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  6. Davidphd - I wanted to share with you my story about using the Chastity device. After reading some threads, and especially some of the comments on here - I think there really is no "right" way to execute nofap, and there are different strategic approaches that can work. So long as the ultimate goal is to lose the addiction of Porn. Afterall, the community does have 3 different modes that you can abide by.

    After discovering nofap first, my partner and I decided that we would work together and came up with the idea of using the chastity. I'm currently on day 12. I tend to have the hardest time when i'm alone (which I work from home) so she is my key holder, and locks me up 24/7. Yes, there is some obvious fetish stank to chastity's but the whole point I decided to do this nofap thing was to stop the addiction of watching porn for hours, masterbating for hours, and achieving orgasms more than 3 times a day.

    Along with that, I wanted to work on channelling all the energy spent watching porn and lusting after other women to guide that back to my partner. We have goals set... during this rebooting process (which I could have never done without the chastity as I look back) I am not to masterbate or look at porn for 14 days. The reward is obvious, it comes off and my partner and I have an amazing date set up. We plan on using the Chastity to move forward with different goals and rewards.

    The point is... I wanted to have my partner fully participate and help me with this addiction. It has now became a very fun game between us and now we are closer than ever. We trust each other more, bond better, and our relationship has catapulted to new levels. It's almost like we are back in the honeymoon stages on when we first met. It's quite exciting... Already I have physiologically changed, and I get so excited and full of goosebumps whenever we just cuddle now. Nonetheless, i'm excited for the 14 days to be done so we can have our beautiful date and I'm excited to put it back on as I battle my addiction to masterbating and porn.

    This certainly has brought our relationship to a new place, we both now have to decide how we are going to execute this chastity thing, and what is most important... what works for US.
     
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  7. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    @ALoCLT — You seem to have found a sensible, practical way to handle your addiction. A chastity device is better than a relapse and a destroyed relationship, that's for sure. The fact that it's brought you two closer together is wonderful.

    I read (on a different forum) a post by a man who was married to a woman who had been cheated on many times before (not by him), and she struggled to trust. He agreed to wear a chastity device when they were apart, e.g. he was at work, but always took it off when they were together (because obviously he couldn't cheat then). For him, it was a compromise that he made in order to hold together a relationship with someone whom he loved.
     
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  8. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    This is excellent feedback. You describe the dynamic with my wife and me very closely. Her and I are definitely closer together because of chastity. You are right, it's part game, but anything to help get me away from porn and masturbation and closer to her is OK in my book!

    Thanks for taking time to write.
     
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  9. Dogmatico

    Dogmatico Fapstronaut

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    This sounds like a bad idea to me, each to their own though. If I was in chasity I would start enjoying it, not loathing it. I'd want to be locked up for as long as possible which would only drive my own vulgar thoughts forward and awaiting a full release. So I can't see any good coming from it on my end. As I said though, if it works for you have at it.
     
  10. 010010010100000101001101

    010010010100000101001101 Fapstronaut

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    "Gay man with a desire to be kept from orgasm looking to meet like minded men to help each other".

    This is clearly a enforced denial fetish... Are you gonna share keys with each other and help to put these things on each other too?

    I don't think there is anything wrong with discussing benefits and downsides of chastity cages for the purpose of nofap and reboot. But this is just too funny. I mean come on! The guy is basically asking to hook up for BDSM sex. This thread should be on craigslist not nofap haha.
     

  11. Being that I have been here for 13 days, and have browsed some thread(s)... I do notice the hypocrisy within the community (especially if you look at other forums about Chastity). Aren't you supposed to be open minded, understand others, and not value your opinion to leverage it above those who are seeking alternative ways to end their addiction?

    I've read all the resources this site has to offer, and it is quite funny that the mission statement is "We’re here to help you quit porn, improve your relationships, and reach your sexual health goals.
    Science-based, secular, and sex-positive." - which is right on the front page. Please, for those reading this, scroll up to my previous comment.

    My addiction to porn and masterbating has created a dark life of secrecy, disruption to those who I love whether it's friends or family, my work, my mentality, my health, my time, and most importantly my relationship to the one I love & dearly want to share my life with (by the way, i've not only channelled the energy I wasted on porn and lusting for other women to my partner; but I also have been doing yoga, eating better, and going to the gym with so much extra time on my hands!). What I don't understand is that some people seem to have overbearing opinions on what the definition of what "nofap" means.

    It's almost like those on here think the movement is to become celibate. Or to have traditional vanilla sex with your partner only...

    If you read my story above, we are working through this together. In fact - quitting porn for the 13 days and no longer hiding in shame my secret life from my partner for over 3 years has been the best thing to ever happen to us...- sexuality has actually increased in our relationship together, whether we have "BDSM", "Rough" "Anal" or any type of sex has nothing to do with NOFAP. Finally, being able to speak openly together (something that should have been done along time ago) I was able to learn about some fantasies that she had, in which I had no idea! And heck yes, we are going to respectively experiment with it learn from it, and fulfill each others needs better.

    So back to the point that this website's mission statement is, " To abstain from pornography, masturbation, or even sex altogether for a period of time. Rebooting the brain by abstaining from these behaviors has freed many users from porn addiction and porn-induced sexual dysfunction."

    You should not judge the way someone defeats the life destroying consequences of being addicted to porn. If it works, and makes life a better, happier, and healthier place. Then try to refrain from shaming someone who obviously is working hard every day to get to a better place.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2019
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  12. WHOOOPS, I'M SO SORRY. I just realized he was asking to meet up!!! lol. I misread that, and yes - for that matter... not appropriate. I guess, you can take my message and address those that are non-supportive within this thread!

    Super sorry! :)
     
  13. 010010010100000101001101

    010010010100000101001101 Fapstronaut

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    That's my point. This is why I said I find this funny and that it belongs on craigslist and not nofap.

    I don't have anything against enforced denial fetish by the way. Or any fetishes really, as long as they're safe and healthy. I could enjoy some BDSM myself. But the point of this website is to heal our addictions and not hook up for them nice tingles haha. That kind of misses the whole point of being here...
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2019
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  14. Hoots

    Hoots Fapstronaut

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    It is an easy way to avoid MO I'll give you that and within a trusting relationship it could be a good thing for some people but don't meet a random person online and let them lock your penis up! You may find yourself visiting the hospital to get it cut off after they kick rocks the next morning and ignore your calls/emails or attempt to ransom the key back to you.

    I seriously hope you are joking posting an invite like that to an entire message board. Sooner or later someone will take advantage of your naivity if not.
     
  15. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    There are 10 kinds of people: those that understand binary, and those who don't.
     
  16. Vandermeer

    Vandermeer Fapstronaut

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    You do not have to understand the concept of binary at all, same with most other languages these days, just use an online translator. The most important part of binary thinking for remembering to me is: it´s a creation and tool of human thinking. The real world and life are not binary themselve or even full understandable by this concept - only machines are.
     
  17. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    How exactly did we get from talking about the possible utility of chastity devices to this? :confused:
     
  18. Vandermeer

    Vandermeer Fapstronaut

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    That was just my reply to Davidphd1866´s before made comment, as you can easily see. I wonder what irritates you at all about this? I mean, nearly every thread is full with random comments or remarks of other user about topics they feel are connected to the OPs original intentions , that´s quite normal here.
     
  19. 010010010100000101001101

    010010010100000101001101 Fapstronaut

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    @Mordobarn

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  20. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    I wonder what made you think that I felt irritated? I actually found it quite funny!

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