Anybody lost friends?

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I'm just wondering if anybody on here is struggling with good, very good, friends fading away. Just focusing on their life's and not able to contact at all or even get in touch on IM. I have this Chinese friend and I actually miss her, there's no way of getting to contact her or talk on Facebook. I've written happy birthday to her this past week, sent good vibes to her, but it seems as if it's a brick wall. I believe I've lost her number on my phone. But is anyone else hurting like this right now? Is it effecting your streaks at all or no? Should I just move on completely..
 
MJ93 said:
Believe me, you're not the only one with that kind of struggle.

I've lost so many friends as years went by :( It's one of the worst feelings ever!
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I have also lost many friend too.. part of it was down to them settling down and I still haven’t
 
Lost some bcuz twas one-way, i got tired of reaching out
at some point, u have to let go, it hurt but later, u know that u're better off without em
 
We lose friends all the time. It is human instinct and it can hurt a lot. I lost a group of 7 very close friends about a year ago. 2020 was the worst year of my life (but also a very insightful one)... and I often sent 1,000+ spam messages a day to friends, venting about how much I hated my life, and how much I loathed existing. These messages slowly degraded into more and more horrible ramblings, threats, and incoherent spamming calling for attention. I spent 5+ hours on this every day for 6+ months.

They eventually blocked me simultaneously and I have not heard from them since.

This is not quite the same as "growing apart" slowly, but it was a very unique experience that I learned from very slowly. I was stuck in a very dark place, full of delusion and self-loathing, and I did not realize I was doing something wrong. By losing that friend circle, I got a lot of insight about myself... and climbed out of deep despair.

Look for the underlying messages in your pain. Approach them curiously, learn to be mindful of your emotions, and to find lessons contained in them. And do not identify with a feeling or a circumstance ("I am miserable" or "I am confused/lost") because this just causes misery; you are not your feelings. Feelings are transient and so is friendship. It all changes, constantly... and you can never predict where it goes or how it changes. Find insight... and keep moving forward. Movement is the only path to cheerfulness.
 
Most of my school friends were a lot more successful than me, and have moved away while I still live in the same area I grew up in. I was very close to them as a teenager and thought that we would be friends for life, but it is difficult to keep up when your circumstances are so different. My friends were wanting to meet up and go abroad once a year, while I was struggling to put food on the table. After a few years you realise that you aren't really the same kind of people any more.
 
I used to have a big social circle, like 30 people.
Now from that circle I only kept 2.
From that circle, I tell 1 my private shit like work, money income.

Learn to be alone. People will want to be around you once you find out how to be happy being alone.
 
Most people eventually lose some contact with old friends .

Especially if they moved, or got married and had children . That's normal .

Can you imagine nomadic tribes Facebooking for a catch up . Nomads usually start there own families and travel People move around and that's just part of life . I had some good friends for close to a decade and eventually we drifted completely out of communication .now my father on the other hand has been friends with guys he went to primary school with about 50 years ago they still speak regularly and have done for 50 years . Different generations probably has something to do with it . That and social media . And then obviously people move on .
 
vasudeva said:
2020 was the worst year of my life (but also a very insightful one)... and I often sent 1,000+ spam messages a day to friends, venting about how much I hated my life, and how much I loathed existing.
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^^^
Damn, that sounds so much like myself. In fact, I still kind of do that with one friend ashamedly. I always hated dumping my problems onto others. Just because it feels good to vent, doesn't mean it feels good listening to someone else vent about something you have no control over when you're on the receiving end. Eventually, it gets tiresome.

Rarely does anybody stay friends with the people they were friends with in kindergarten to adulthood. People change, people grow and move on. They have their path, you have your own. It's a harsh truth of adulthood, and it does get somewhat more difficult to make long lasting friends as an adult, but it is still possible
 
If I am being honest my only friend at this point is Jesus. He is the only one who keeps me sane at this moment in my life.
 
I pretty much lost all my friends because I started to doubt my faith and stopped going to church. All my friends were Christians so they stopped spending time with me. It seems to me they were scared of being around me because I might cause them to doubt as well. I'm moving on without them but it's not easy to make new friends.
 
Brain-Police said:
^^^
Damn, that sounds so much like myself. In fact, I still kind of do that with one friend ashamedly. I always hated dumping my problems onto others. Just because it feels good to vent, doesn't mean it feels good listening to someone else vent about something you have no control over when you're on the receiving end. Eventually, it gets tiresome.

Rarely does anybody stay friends with the people they were friends with in kindergarten to adulthood. People change, people grow and move on. They have their path, you have your own. It's a harsh truth of adulthood, and it does get somewhat more difficult to make long lasting friends as an adult, but it is still possible
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Good, lasting friendships are built on mutual progress. Neither friend encourages, nor accepts failure or misery. And thus, the friendship is tied closely with individual improvement.

These friendships happen naturally when you get involved in a hobby/career you love. Mutual suffering, mutual growth... tied in a very rewarding cycle. Otherwise, people end up with friends that accept misery... and console others when they're hurting without giving them constructive encouragement. These friendships are bound to die.
 
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