So it felt like I've abstained from PMO for a while till i looked at my calendar and saw that it's only been four days...the whole day today since I woke up I've been so short tempered and I feel physically hot, like it's hard to focus on some things, and I get a few thoughts thinking maybe I'll relapse today, but I felt strong against it. In fact it was very strong, "No. I don't need to. I'm not going to. " But then I got angrier like I can't just satisfy my desire now whenever I feel like it? I've done that for so many years and to not allow myself to do that anymore? Like I CAN'T do it? And I guess I tricked myself into relapsing. I was feeling so hot tempered I thought maybe a shower would help but when I saw myself undressing well...it was the most nude I've seen in a while I guess. I don't usually look when I undress or anything I know that's weird but I just don't consciously look. So I relapsed and I'm thinking now like is this even possible? I know I should stop, I want to stop, but are these benefits that these successful youtubers talk about feeling after abstaining and quitting even achievable for me?I think it could be and these thoughts are coming because it's just a very frustrating and angry day, I finally relapsed and I guess maybe I want to quit so I can keep doing what I've been doing before. But some of the questions I'm thinking are am I focusing too much on not doing PMO? Like am I putting too much attention on all this by listening to other people's journeys, their tips, the benefits, counting my days, watching myself so I don't give in? Am I making it bigger than it is. I don't think so but you know that saying, 'sometimes if you give something too much attention it get's bigger? I don't know fapstronauts has anyone else felt this way? I want to give up, but when I thin about my relationship and how it effects everything in a weird negative way, how it effects me like anxiety and what not I definitely want to stop. Does this journey make anyone else angry sometimes?