I honestly feel like a retard lol. I can't focus on anything, I just sit and stare blankly because there are barely even any thoughts going on and the ones that I do have are either repetitive or like obsessive thoughts about double checking things. I also get annoyed super quickly, have to force myself to eat, muscle aches throughout my body, constant anxiety and this feeling like I'm about to cry and my dick feels like it's frozen and like it's gonna fall off. Jesus, I didn't think it could get this bad. The other day I was out for a walk and I was sitting somewhere and this mountain bike rider turned around and rode back to me and he was like "Are you okay man? You seem so sad and alone" and I joked it off and brushed him off but damn, I wish I had someone to talk to about stuff irl. I see a therapist once a week but let's face it: They're just friend prostitutes. My family doesn't want to see me anymore and all I have is my autistic dad who can't comprehend what's going on with me.