Anyone else have controlling family?

I completely understand that feeling. I have a very negative family. And I do not engage with most of them. Of course that has gotten much easier to do since moving out and no longer being dependent on any of them. I think blood doesn’t mean jack. I hate that we’re meant to let things slide just because they are family, when they say/do awful things. Blood or not, you loose my respect. I don’t think anyone should be obligated to love or care or even associate themselves with negative people, just because they are family.

 

My dad was always controlling in his own ways, he wanted me to do things exactly the way he saw was practical which made me hate him growing up since I am stubborn and an non conformist by nature, blood does not mean you should give them special treatment, family does not end in blood.

 

You definitely have to do what’s best for you. Boundaries are super important and I think it’s okay to discuss that with family. I recognize I am very fortunate however as I have a great family and they are very understanding and supportive. I think if you can work towards that then it is a blessing to you as your family (as they might finally recognize a need to change). However don’t sacrifice yourself in vain for them.

A lot of people end up making non blood relations their family and you can too.

 

A lot of parents, including mine, will treat you like a child forever if you let them.

You need to work out how much you can deal with, set the boundaries there, and then learn to walk away when they don't respect that. If you can only manage to visit them a couple times a year, and ring every other week - that's fine. Don't let them convince you that you owe them more than that, that you need to tell them everything you are doing and the reasons for it.

 

Setting your self interest as top priority will be most beneficial. You don't need to stick around family. Keep working to achieve your financial independence and respectfully move on with your life. In the future, some family members will make peace and some will double down. C'est la vie.
You however will be better off in the long run.