Anyone else have the same problem?

I'm very close with my family but I've been an addict for 4 years and no one suspects a thing, and because of have depression since I was 4, I'm become a very good at hiding problems. It pains me because this is a huge turning point in my life and I cant tell a single person in my family. Im proud and scared. Not my brothers, or my parents, any aunts or uncles, and not any friends. If I told any of them, they'd see me as a whole different person. Especially because my dad is extremely against porn and continues to remind us all that he knows people who have lost jobs and dropped out of college because of porn and that it can be addictive. I just have to play it off as if its news to me.

Is anyone in the same boat? You are proud and scared of this turning point with no one to talk about it with in person? I can't get a therapist because I'm only 19 and on their insurance, so I can't hide it. How do others cope with this?

Sorry, this is kind of a rant but I'm fighting an urge at the moment and thought writing about my feelings on a couple matters might help.