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Anyone else out there have an unsatisfying relationship to blowjobs in their sex life?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by illusionary_world, May 7, 2020.

  1. May 7, 2020 #1
    illusionary_world

    illusionary_world New Fapstronaut

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    Hi all, new to the forum... though I've been trying to quit porn for longer than I'd like to admit.

    I was just thinking recently about how weird my relationship has been to blowjobs throughout my life and how it has been subject to change.

    When I first started having sex, oral sex was basically my favorite. I had porn addiction really bad even then (like 15 years ago when I was in college), and would have trouble staying hard. But oral was always a pretty reliable way to wake it back up if there was an issue.

    And yet these days as an adult.... I don't know, it's like there isn't enough sensitivity for it to do much for me. I've often just got bored with the feeling of it, and impatient to move on to something more exciting with the girl. Funny how that can change. I'm sure hoping that it changes back after a reset.

    In addition to that though, I've had a strange relationship to blowjobs in terms of finishing to completion throughout my whole life too. Even when I was really into receiving oral sex, I would go to completion very rarely. I think part of this is just that most women aren't all that stellar at it (there is only 1 girl who I dated that I would say had excellent bj skills and could reliably take me there).

    But also with this porn addiction problem, I would feel like if "used up" my orgasm on oral sex, then I'm giving up the opportunity for the actual sex later because my dick would be exhausted after that. Like, occasionally I might have an issue getting hard at all, so if I allow myself to cum from a blowjob then actual sex will be literally impossible after that until I can rest up for another day or something.

    I'm hoping that can change too, because I love oral sex and the idea of it... it just never seems to work out the way I'd like in real life. Anybody else like this?
     
    illusionary_world, May 7, 2020
    illusionary_world, May 7, 2020
    #1
  2. May 7, 2020 #2
    Bohdanbigos

    Bohdanbigos Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    I think you should have common vaginal sex at first and second time you can cum with oral sex. It also depends on what your girlfriend thinks about it
     
    Bohdanbigos, May 7, 2020
    Bohdanbigos, May 7, 2020
    #2
  3. May 7, 2020 #3
    Cloudstephen

    Cloudstephen Fapstronaut

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    Maybe, you're too desensitized to oral sex that it doesn't turn you on anymore.

    And I think there's no problem with not cumming on oral sex, its not meant for that for me.

    For me, oral sex arouses me due to the emotional aspect to it before, me being dominant and all but once I got over the dominant thing, oral sex became only good with the right technique and effort.
     
    Cloudstephen, May 7, 2020
    Cloudstephen, May 7, 2020
    #3
  4. May 8, 2020 #4
    fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Similarly, I could take it or leave it. I enjoy looking at it being done and the feeling to some extent, but it rarely if ever takes me all the way. And a lot of men feel this way, I think.

    The embarrassing part is that women are convinced they are doing a special favour, like it is a treat they are performing for me when I have performed oral sex for them (which I love). Sometimes they don't even hide their reluctance or mild disgust, like I should be flattered that they overcome this for my benefit. Maybe this is a learned attitude from porn as well?

    Women really love receiving oral sex, sometimes (frequently?) more than they enjoy penetrative sex. But men? Seldom. Maybe when I overcome my porn addiction I will enjoy it more!
     
    fredisthebes, May 8, 2020
    fredisthebes, May 8, 2020
    #4

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