Anyone here suffer from social anxiety or just shyness please comment if so

I'd rather not. I'm a huge fan of them. I'm taking a break from multiplayer/online games because those frustrate the hell out of me.

 

It's your choice, but videos games are a artificial stimulation that kill your motivation to do stuff in real life. But Multyplayer games are definetely the worst. Just try to go without the mfor a month or so and see if it helps you in any way.

 

I mean I just play Metal Gear Solid for most of the time because of its beautiful narrative and its social/political messages and themes. Gameplay is also phenomenal but the story and themes make it the beauty it is. Online multiplayer thinking about it held me back a lot. I can't properly pause the game. When I play Metal Gear I can pause it whenever I want to without any risk of anything. And plus, I make sure my daily assignments are done before I game.

 

You have to know how much is too much for you. If it doesn't hold you back in life and you have control over it then it's fine. but don't let it take overhand. I haven't been playing video games for a long time what helped me a lot. I started playing again a bit lately but mostly on the weekends. I notice how addicting they are again. I definetely think pmo is worse but video games should be approached carefully especially if you are a socially anxious guy.

 

I scored 131 on an IQ test a couple months ago so yeah, I'd say I'm quite intelligent. lol (though I don't like to brag about it, I'm too humble) Yes, I used to be like that for most of my life, nowadays it's only in love. I just passed an autism test on Psych Central and I got 23 out of ?. 0-13 is autism not likely, 14-30 is autism possible and 31+ is autism most likely.

I could suffer from autism... I could suffer from all the rejection and abuse I was a victim of, during my childhood ...or a mixture of both. Or it's PMO. I suffer from pretty much all PMO side effects and the more I abstrained (am on day 12 or 13 right now), the more I feel confident with girls, the more I can focus on things, I went to see my friends last night (for the first time in 4 months and 25 days ) and I'm making plans to see them again, I'm genuinely trying to get out of my isolation.

I love video games but I kind of wanna try quitting them for some time and see what happens. Last time I did was for 2 years and I had a long-distance girlfriend for 1 year and a half, which makes me believe video games abstinence seems to be beneficial to me, for some reason...

 

Even if you scored a autism possible, you shouldn't think of yourself as an autist. It's the same with social anxiety. Stop telling yourself that you're a social phobic. If you keep telling yourself that you suffer from social anxiety that's what becomes reality. Start thinking that you're an awesome guy and not a loser nobody likes. What you think of yourself is what you carry out in the world and this is how people will perceive you.

Yes, definetely try and quit them for some time. If you can control the use of video games you can incorporate a moderate amount of them in your life again. Video games aside from porn have some mental benefits but they should never get priority over your real life goals.

 

This makes a lot of sense. Most of the time, I have this feeling people will read in my mind, my face or my body language, all the things I don't like about myself but you're right, I gotta be more confident and have a better self-esteem.

Well, I play between 0 minutes to 3 hours a day but I can definetely control my use of video games and keep myself from playing more than 3 hours because it was shown to have bad effects on sociability. Some days I play an hour, some days I play 5 minutes. I play only when I'm done with all the more important things in my life. Absolutely, a few weeks back, it was all I thought about, believing it was my ''purpose'' on Earth to be a hero in all those games ...but then I realised video games were just an hobby and I shouldn't take them too seriously. I guess I could keep playing then, less than 3 hours a day. Some girls are gamers and I'm extremely good at them so this could help in future relationships, it it's a common hobby.

 

ME!!! I have social anxiety and many women couldn't believe it when I told them I am recovering from it.

3 weeks of PMO and this is the result. And I'm going further and further.

 

i also have S.A it's common for fappers though,

 

When I was in my teen years and until I met my first GF at 18, I was super shy with girls. My first GF was the one that asked me to go out..... I married her, even if it didn't feel right (she wasn't exactly sane ). That lasted 5 years...I really thought that I needed to marry her, cause she was the first and my only chance lol.

I met another woman and we're together for 18 years, married for 15 years. I still suffer from a little bit of social anxiety at 42yo...only of my battles I guess.

 

O yeah, horrible social anxiety here. When I feel like I can't interact in social situations I don't even bother to try. I know for a fact it's why I haven't had a proper girlfriend and have troubles asking girls out (because I over think things and give myself reasons why I don't; ie, I'm being a creep, she'll say no anyways, she's way out of my league, she's probably already got a boyfriend, etc...). I do fine when others start, but going up to strangers and trying to start conversation is difficult for me.

I know for a fact it's due to pmo (everything I've read points to that) as in these last few weeks I've felt more at ease than ever before. There seems to be only 2 cures to my anxiety (I don't feel it's bad enough to be on drugs, and would ideally like to fix it without a pill), quitting pmo and forcing myself into social situations and interactions. I've done that a few times this week and have felt awesome after every time. I just need to grow the balls to go out there and do it. When you've made yourself a hermit though, basically, through pmo addiction, it's hard to do and scary at times. But it's a good type of scary.

 

I don't like the "forcing" part. Maybe you want to choose social situations and interactions that you will benefit from anyway, and on top, meeting other people. Soemthing you like to do! Or something that seems cool and you try it!

anyway, I understand the forcing part, I have to force myself to partake in social activities. At 40+, i only start feeling comfortable with people. I always thought I was too bland, boring, nerdy, etc

 

I agree that putting myself in social environments where connections are automatic, based off common interests, would be best for me. I tried that during the summer but still had anxiety issues come up because I didn't know anyone there. I know I need to go back to those groups and try it again after finally starting to cure myself of the pmo addiction.

But no, forcing myself is the best way because I would ALWAYS take the easy way out (aka, pmo). If I was too afraid to join a social situation, I would just walk away or completely avoid them to begin with.

The perfect example of forcing myself into one was the other day. At school I was leaving the library to go to my next class, but saw a girl from a class we had together a year ago, waiting for her coffee. We never talked in that class, she didn't know me, but I knew of her because of her unique name. I could have easily used the excuse, "I have to get to my next class", but instead said screw it and went up to her, with nothing to lose. We ended up talking for a good 5 minutes and the whole time I didn't feel nervous or anything (that went away the second I started talking to her).

Little things like that will go a long way into my entire recovery of this pmo/loneliness addiction, so I can start living a better life.

 

You're doing good! Nothing to lose is a good approach. You will end up scoring big!

 

Very inspiring post Volt2187! I often want to talk to girls at the gym but I always freeze at the thoughts ''what will I tell them?'', ''how to introduce, when, how to explain why'', ''how to not sound needy, how not to end up in the friend zone, how to hide the fact that I am turned on by them'', too many questions. lol Like, do you just go to girls and say hi, how are you? I get the feeling girls will instantly know I like them otherwise I wouldn't be talking to them. I believe it's just an assumption but it blocks me completly from making the first move. That and also the fact I'm on day 17 and I get erections just looking at girl's faces.

My brain is getting desperate from the 17 days of abstinence and it embarasses me even more than usual to talk to girls when I'm fighting urges inside my head and am hard. I started going on OkCupid, Tinder, Badoo, all those sites but whenever I see a girl that interest me, I'm like ''oh yeah, she looks good, look at her smile'' and I get yet another erection! loll I'M REALLY TRYING to stop seeing girls as sex objects and in my heart, I stopped seeing them as sex objects but some part of my brain thinks otherwise. I get all sweaty and almost cried because I felt abused by myself ...but I won't give up, I'm sweaty as fu** right now but I will never PMO again, never again!!

If anyone had some tips on how to just TALK to girls or stop getting hard all the time, I'd appreciate, thanks!

 

Well, my tip #1 is to stop thinking about dating the gym girl. She is probably already knowing that "the males" are watching. At the gym, for somebody single like you, I would go for a sincere and low-key smile. Keep your eyes up. Treat with respect. I know its hard for a porn addict. The girls are dressed with tight clothes. etc. They know they are cute and well shaped. They know guys are looking, some will like it, some other girls won't. If you see the same girl and you just smile and do your stuff seriously (no kissing your biceps in front of mirror lol), you might attempt to talk to her after a few weeks...

Tip #2: You are doing good but keep sanitizing your thoughts of the sex element. I know its hard trust me I feel you. You might see things this way. Breast is to feed baby. Bum is to sit on the toilet and chair, legs are to walk and lips are to keep the liquid in mouth when she drinks. Also, learning to respect ladies is about trying to understand who they are.

At work, I have discussions with women about kids, recipes, work, hobbies, etc... It's in their comfort zone. They don't feel I'm a creep when I discuss veggie "diet" soup recipe or something...almost all of them want to lose a few pounds, share something with them that is not sexual.

I'm so happy to be married, because being on the hunt to find a female partner pisses me off. I just stopped looking for dates and I did my thing...out of the blue somebody comes up! Trying to seduce, to hook up, is tiring. Learn to love yourself as a person, find hobbies you like, learn how to cook, become happy to be with yourself and a girl will pop up...


Tip #3: Consider for a second dating a women older than you. The idea is that the older women are past their "identity crisis" phase..they know what they want and what they need. Some of them have a kid or two, and maybe are already divorced or hurt by their ex...stuck with the kids, etc. I'm NOT saying its the way to go. But its a good way to meet women that know what they want.

I always had a MILF fetish. I dated a 35yo when I was 25yo. She had a teenage girl. Rough times sometimes, but I matured a lot. Now, I'm 42 and she is 52 and we are still together....she's now a GILF lol...

 

That's what so many people say. Love yourself, get an interesting life and a woman will come. It that really true? That's what I'm working on mostly. I still want to find more hobbies to do.

Same for me. I'm really attracted to women who are older than me. Would love to find one.

 

I can reassure you, I don't kiss my biceps in front of mirrors lol but I get what you mean. Yes, I guess there are no other way than to just DO IT.

I believe you, I think it's just me being lost after 14 years of being single. It's like restarting boxing after 14 years of break, it's tough and takes time.

LOL, I was once in love with the mother of my girlfriend (when I was 12), it killed my relationship. If I see a older women that I like and she makes my heart beat faster, I'll see what I can do...

 

I love older women with big round glasses. LOL I think that's because of my 4th teacher. She was so attractive and I'm not ashamed to say I was in love with her. I made some sort of wood carved sculpture to express how much I liked her and my goodness, I shiver just to think about it. She told me to wait until all the other students would be gone and we kissed for like 5 minutes. Looking back, it was kinda pedophile of her to kiss a 10 yeard old boy... LOLL but I missed the boat. She said ''I can love you more than that, do you understand what I mean?'' and I said no. *facepalm* I was so shocked, I really wanted her to love me but I didn't think it was possible so I made that sculpture to in a way, have no regret but when she kissed me over and over again, my brain exploded. Don't get me wrong, I loved every moment of it but I believe I was way too young for such a relationship and it stopped there. I thought about finding her on Facebook haha but I forgot her name...

 

Enough with the ero fetish hardcore wrong interesting exciting shyte you bruh. When I was a teen I was fantasizing about getting asked and coerced/raped by a lady...teachers, someone's mom, anybody/anything...

But yes I believe that girls, ladies and women are on the look out.
How to I know? Both my first and 2nd wife were looking for me more than I was...I was just lucky to WAKE UP at the right time...
Try to become a friend..and you might get more. Try too hard, you don't get shyte...

My 2 cents...