Time for my casual return to the NoFap Forum and feeling like absolute shit again. Still on the grind to self-improvement, lost a couple Kg the last month and looking a little leaner. I am gonna get fitter and look better... (I run a 4:15 Km too) Anyone just feel like they are a failure of a human (particularly a guy)? What I mean by that is, if girls aren't attracted to you and you can't attract them because you don't have to looks, tools, confidence and an array of other handy things that help; what is our value in life? I'm not someone to believe in the idea that a human's sole purpose is to breed and continue their genes. I'm actually Eastern Orthodox, but I can't help but think, I'm still supposed to breed and do what humans' are instinctively meant to do. Like, what is my purpose if I'm ugly, don't know how to talk to girls and am just a failure when it comes to social situations. Am I just meant to die out? If so, I'm cool with that. But if not, am I just a failure? What's wrong with me? I got a buzzcut yesterday, mainly because my hairline thinning and receding real bad at 17 (which, frankly, I think is quite fucked). And it looks like shit, I look like a skinhead man or a monk (respect to monks, but that's not the look I'm aiming for). So now I'm stuck with an ugly acne-ridden face and a buzzcut with a horrific hairline. So I guess I'll bring it full circle again, anyone just feel like an ugly piece of shit in a way that's entirely out of control? The only thing I got going for me with girls is my height (180cm/5'11") and I'm decently smart (A's, B's), which is okay but I don't have any redeeming traits for all the other shit I've got going, small hands, average dick, thin receding hairline, non-existent social skills, slight monobrow I've gotta pluck every week, shit jawline and an oily acne-ridden face which despite countless attempts to fix, will not go away. On top of that, my body fat distribution is so retarded to the point that I'd have to become anorexic to have a decent jawline and not have a feminine curvy body (I'm currently 13-15% bfp) I've seen some stuff online suggesting I have a good look in the mirror one day, and list all the things I like about myself/find to be good looking. I just can't though, maybe I'm being pessimistic or whiney but I don't think I have one good feature. I'm buying some self help books suggested by my school counsellor too, particularly: (Un)Qualified: How God Uses Broken People To Do Big Things by Steven Furtick Fear is Fuel by Patrick J. Sweeney Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men by Ryan Michler Authentic Gravitas: Who Stands Out and Why' by Dr Rebecca Newton I don't have the money to buy them all right now, I'm thinking of getting the Steven Furtick one first though; what do you guys think? Life just feels a little bullshit. I get it, it is. But am I just suppose to live the rest of my life looking unattractive because of the way I look? It feels pathetic lowering my standards so that I can find a girl that is attracted to me, I feel like an asshole too. Why can't I, and others go out with girls that are good looking? It's not fair man it feels like bullshit that just because of genes that are 100% out of my control, that I am effectively banned from talking to and going out with good looking girls (I am not asking for 10s either). To be more specific, I have this weird belief in eugenics in the back of my mind that makes me feel this way too. To try quote a thought it would be something like... You aren't good looking and as such you are not allowed to breed with people who are attractive, you are the result of natural selection. Which admittedly, sounds quite reasonable, we are animals after all. Now obviously I'm not vouching for eugenics, but that type of belief that I for some reason have is very bizarre and I don't understand it. It makes me feel like I am inferior to people who are good looking. I think I sort of have a point too, if you think back to your elders or even just older people you know and they might have spoken to you or you heard their stories from their past; it's always something how they were the school captain or that they were the prom queen or that they had the hottest girlfriend when they were younger or maybe you saw a school photo or a photo of them in the army you saw that they were good looking. Now based on that, remember the last time you heard from a grandfather or an elderly person that you do or don't know again, and remember a time when someone told you they were ugly, unconfident or fantasized about suicide or something like that. In my experience at least, it's very very uncommon to hear the latter and quite common the former. That's because the winners get to continue on in life and have the time of their lives, those people get the girls, those people experience life to the fullest, they experience truly what life has to offer. The losers? They die off, whether that's as a result of suicide, no one is attracted to them, or they living boring pathetic lives where nothing of acknowledgement is achieved. It just feels like bullshit that because of the way I look and others, my life is limited and I won't get to experience the same quality and beauty of life that other average or good looking people get to experience. And I know, people say that confidence is more important than looks when it comes to girls. How can I be confident if I know that I am not a good looking person, particularly if I lack social skills. On top of that, talking to my school counsellor about self esteem and social skills is quite ripe too since her advice comes from a person who is good looking, was very popular in high school, is an extrovert and is intelligent. As a side note, I recently stopped NoFap to get through my exams and will resume when they are over. My longest streak is 15 days. Anyways I'll cut my self-loathing egoist whining here, what do you guys think? If it helps, I'm 17.