Anyone Just Feel Like A Failure To Humanity?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by YellowBlob64, Aug 22, 2021.

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  1. YellowBlob64

    YellowBlob64 Fapstronaut

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    Time for my casual return to the NoFap Forum and feeling like absolute shit again.

    Still on the grind to self-improvement, lost a couple Kg the last month and looking a little leaner. I am gonna get fitter and look better... (I run a 4:15 Km too)

    Anyone just feel like they are a failure of a human (particularly a guy)?
    What I mean by that is, if girls aren't attracted to you and you can't attract them because you don't have to looks, tools, confidence and an array of other handy things that help; what is our value in life?

    I'm not someone to believe in the idea that a human's sole purpose is to breed and continue their genes. I'm actually Eastern Orthodox, but I can't help but think, I'm still supposed to breed and do what humans' are instinctively meant to do.

    Like, what is my purpose if I'm ugly, don't know how to talk to girls and am just a failure when it comes to social situations. Am I just meant to die out? If so, I'm cool with that. But if not, am I just a failure? What's wrong with me?

    I got a buzzcut yesterday, mainly because my hairline thinning and receding real bad at 17 (which, frankly, I think is quite fucked). And it looks like shit, I look like a skinhead man or a monk (respect to monks, but that's not the look I'm aiming for). So now I'm stuck with an ugly acne-ridden face and a buzzcut with a horrific hairline. So I guess I'll bring it full circle again, anyone just feel like an ugly piece of shit in a way that's entirely out of control?

    The only thing I got going for me with girls is my height (180cm/5'11") and I'm decently smart (A's, B's), which is okay but I don't have any redeeming traits for all the other shit I've got going, small hands, average dick, thin receding hairline, non-existent social skills, slight monobrow I've gotta pluck every week, shit jawline and an oily acne-ridden face which despite countless attempts to fix, will not go away.

    On top of that, my body fat distribution is so retarded to the point that I'd have to become anorexic to have a decent jawline and not have a feminine curvy body (I'm currently 13-15% bfp)
    I've seen some stuff online suggesting I have a good look in the mirror one day, and list all the things I like about myself/find to be good looking. I just can't though, maybe I'm being pessimistic or whiney but I don't think I have one good feature.

    I'm buying some self help books suggested by my school counsellor too, particularly:

    (Un)Qualified: How God Uses Broken People To Do Big Things by Steven Furtick

    Fear is Fuel
    by Patrick J. Sweeney

    Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men by Ryan Michler

    Authentic Gravitas: Who Stands Out and Why' by Dr Rebecca Newton

    I don't have the money to buy them all right now, I'm thinking of getting the Steven Furtick one first though; what do you guys think?

    Life just feels a little bullshit. I get it, it is. But am I just suppose to live the rest of my life looking unattractive because of the way I look? It feels pathetic lowering my standards so that I can find a girl that is attracted to me, I feel like an asshole too. Why can't I, and others go out with girls that are good looking? It's not fair man it feels like bullshit that just because of genes that are 100% out of my control, that I am effectively banned from talking to and going out with good looking girls (I am not asking for 10s either).

    To be more specific, I have this weird belief in eugenics in the back of my mind that makes me feel this way too. To try quote a thought it would be something like...

    You aren't good looking and as such you are not allowed to breed with people who are attractive, you are the result of natural selection.

    Which admittedly, sounds quite reasonable, we are animals after all.

    Now obviously I'm not vouching for eugenics, but that type of belief that I for some reason have is very bizarre and I don't understand it.

    It makes me feel like I am inferior to people who are good looking.

    I think I sort of have a point too, if you think back to your elders or even just older people you know and they might have spoken to you or you heard their stories from their past; it's always something how they were the school captain or that they were the prom queen or that they had the hottest girlfriend when they were younger or maybe you saw a school photo or a photo of them in the army you saw that they were good looking.

    Now based on that, remember the last time you heard from a grandfather or an elderly person that you do or don't know again, and remember a time when someone told you they were ugly, unconfident or fantasized about suicide or something like that.

    In my experience at least, it's very very uncommon to hear the latter and quite common the former. That's because the winners get to continue on in life and have the time of their lives, those people get the girls, those people experience life to the fullest, they experience truly what life has to offer. The losers? They die off, whether that's as a result of suicide, no one is attracted to them, or they living boring pathetic lives where nothing of acknowledgement is achieved.

    It just feels like bullshit that because of the way I look and others, my life is limited and I won't get to experience the same quality and beauty of life that other average or good looking people get to experience.

    And I know, people say that confidence is more important than looks when it comes to girls. How can I be confident if I know that I am not a good looking person, particularly if I lack social skills.

    On top of that, talking to my school counsellor about self esteem and social skills is quite ripe too since her advice comes from a person who is good looking, was very popular in high school, is an extrovert and is intelligent.

    As a side note, I recently stopped NoFap to get through my exams and will resume when they are over. My longest streak is 15 days.

    Anyways I'll cut my self-loathing egoist whining here, what do you guys think?

    If it helps, I'm 17.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2021
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  2. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

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    I think measuring your value by just that standard is not a good thing.
    Issac Newton made some good contributions to humanity in terms of science, was he a man of no value?

    What is your purpose? period, that's were the question should end, no if.
    Find one, the rest will follow.

    Being good looking increases the quality and beauty of life? That's new.

    Developing skills through trial and error, and also, also ever heard the saying beauty depends on the eyes of the beholder? I mean I'm quite sure you are decent, not a malformed quasimodo-like person.
    That "I know" is insecurity talking, you don't know, you think you know.
     
  3. derobe

    derobe New Fapstronaut

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    It's funny, cos you listed stuff about how you think you suck and all that, but you had me cracking up in this and clearly are a clever dude/talented at writing and a funny mf'er and all that definitely gets girls.

    That stuff about your therapist would piss me off as well, like how would she get it but don't know bro she is probs just trying to help. But she also could not be and getting an ego boost.

    Keep working on yourself bro, squeeze all the potential out even if you haven't come out top in the gene pool.

    Peace
     
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  4. YellowBlob64

    YellowBlob64 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man I really appreciate what you said. But are you being completely honest? Did you genuinely enjoy the way I wrote that? I try to be a little self-conscious when I write this stuff, it adds humility I guess...

    As for the funny mf'er that gets all the girls, I can be funny when the moment is right, no girls at all lmao. I'm a chump.

    Yeah my counsellor is trying to help, but it's just a bit ripe coming from someone such as herself. I'd rather talk to someone who can relate to me or at least struggles in a similar way to myself and frankly, she's not very good at her job. It just feels like bullshit that once I finish school, I'm gonna have to pay people money to not want to kill myself.
     
  5. YellowBlob64

    YellowBlob64 Fapstronaut

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    Am I as smart as Issac Newton? Do I have the same passions as Newton? Do I have no intent to marry or have a girlfriend? Did threaten my parents to burn them alive in their own home?

    Of course not! So IMO this is not a very good comparison.

    I want to live my life like everyone else, have a girlfriend, a job, hobbies, a life, social skills...


    I don't know what my purpose is... Finding it does not solve my conundrum of being an ugly loser.


    How would it not? I know alot of people who are good looking, actually, most of my friends are good looking. I'm tired of hearing stories about how random girls hit on them or they have loads of friends that are girls or how many girls they've done things with. I'm tired of it. I've had I think maybe, 3 girls in my entire life that have said something that might signify they had the hots for me, and 2/3 of those I'm certain were doing it jokingly because they know I would bumble and not know how to react... When I've spoken to girls they automatically know I'm a loser, it's a subconscious thing I can't explain, they have this like laughing smirk like I'm a toy or something.


    "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" This is BS, there are mathematical ways to prove looks. Namely one of those is symmetry, not in all cases, but typically symmetrical people are more attractive. This slogan is loaded with BS.


    No, I'm not Quasimodo. That's the equivalent of saying to a person with a broken leg...

    "At least you can move your other leg!"

    It's besides the point.


    I'd probably rate my self a 4 or a low 5 out of 10. Yes! I am insecure! Knowing that doesn't solve anything for me.
     
  6. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

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    You missed the point completely, I meant to say that having value is not limited to have a girl or getting girls.

    Ohhhh you have no idea

    Give up the goddamn whining and comparing yourselve with others so much, I bet my fucking dick they also have their own insecurities.
    What's your problem mate? That you think you are a fucking bloody ork and that girls mock you because of it? If they mock you is because you are a brittle whining guy, I'm a loser, I'm ugly.... jesus f christ, you don't need no one to put you down mate, you are already doing it yourself.

    Stop it, and maybe, just maybe, it will start slowly changing.
    And life ain't limited to getting a lot of girls and being goodlooking, is much more than just that.
    But I mean I cannot really blame you, with hormones raging almost of all us thought similar at some point.

    That is BS

    So you are probably potentially a 6-7, if you focused on taking care of your looks and social skills instead of whining.

    So if you know it? Are you going to do anything about it? because no book or person will be able to fucking help you.
    Do you know who you are? what you want in life? I mean something precise that drives you and build security on who you are and where are you going, not that vague i just want a girl a job a family.

    Most people want that! that's as vague as it can fucking get! are you a bloody ant? or a person? where is your individuality?

    Take care mate, you can be much much more than you can even fanthom right now.
    But get your shit together and firstly stop bashing on yourself so hardly, that DOESN'T SOLVE ANYTHING FOR YOU.
     
  7. PegasusKid

    PegasusKid Fapstronaut

    Way too much of your worth is tied to other people in general it sounds like, not just girls. But that's probably obvious. Low self esteem like this needs serious help and although books can be helpful I'm not sure if books can shift a mindset of thinking you're a failure of natural selection. That's some deep rooted shit for a therapist or psychologist. But yeah, I also feel like this at times. I just don't necessarily care, I learned a long time ago that people like me are always gonna have an uphill climb and just not get certain things in life like relationships and long term friends, but I never equated that to failure. Only society says this actually means anything, there's no intrinsic value to this. Over 300k babies are born a day, why is it YOUR duty or obligation to reproduce or be eligible to reproduce? The job is taken care of. Now if you want kids for yourself that's different.

    Don't get me wrong, I get it. It's frustrating to feel like you're at the bottom, but I also think sometimes you are just not your own type. Your self perception has nothing to do with whether or not girls are attracted to you though. Do your best, put yourself out there and keep growing yourself and let the girls decide how they feel about you. You can have all of these things you want like girls and good looks(certain things can't be undone obviously but grooming, skin care, working out etc goes a long way) but make sure you actually want it and you aren't pursuing it just because you feel incomplete without it. People, especially women, tend to pick up on when you're just trying to satisfy your ego and aren't being genuine and in the moment.
     
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  8. Melkhiresa

    Melkhiresa Fapstronaut

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    get this guy out of here; not allowed by who? an animal does not care what his potential mate want, he just breed her and beat all others contender. Being good looking might help you get some type of girl maybe for some time but unless you've got some dough you ain't gonna keep her. Money is power and power let you keep all the girls you want since it seem to be your main focus. Money will set you free.
     
  9. jcl1990

    jcl1990 Fapstronaut

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    Well, here’s something I think about sometimes —- maybe take a step away from Christianity for a little bit. In my experience going to Christian churches, most of the energy there is “beta male energy”. Like they force us to sit in a chair and listen to another guy talk, and then we pass money to him so he can feed himself, his family, pay his mortgage, etc. I’ve never been to a church where they tried to hook me up with a girl, never once!!

    it’s always this freaking BS of listening to this guy talk. And what about Steven Furtick? The guy is naturally good looking, probably works out a lot, preaches a sermon where he yells sometimes and gets people’s emotions stirring. The guy is a freaking swindler bro. All these preachers are making incomes off us guys who have nowhere else to turn.

    and the churches they expect us guys to just sit around and be good little celibates. I’m freaking tired of it to be honest. It’s a beta male mindset that they are preaching. Do you think Moses or David would sit and listen to one of their beta male sermons?

    it’s just bad conditioning you are under right now bro. Combine that with porn use, and you are left feeling like you do now.

    don’t worry too much about your body and acne and oily face right now. What you need to do is transform your body and let it grow to its maximum potential.

    idk man, I know what you mean, but just get out of this beta male mindset. It’s the freaking schools, and the churches, and basically every show on tv that is filled with this sort of conditioning methods to produce weakness.

    You can always buy a really hot hooker someday, too. Just don’t worry about it man. Don’t go see counselors. Don’t buy the Steven Furtick book. Go pick up a book on Buddhism or Hinduism or something. Take a break from Christianity. It doesn’t mean you stop believing, but it’s refreshing getting a break from a constant reminder of “sin” and all that stuff.

    Or don’t listen to me at all, it doesn’t matter either way. It’s a freaking joke this whole life pretty much. Everyone running around just trying to gain stuff while at the same time thinking they are following Gods plan and crap hahahaha it’s a joke bro. Just detach from it all and see their games. Become the wise serpent.
     
  10. Mat2401

    Mat2401 Fapstronaut

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    +1 on this, we don’t get enough time here to waste caring what anyone else thinks. Take the time to work out what’s important to you, live your life, and the rest will sort itself out.

    “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
     
  11. Quite honestly, you sound like so many other guys your age. No offense, but if someone says it is a nice day, you would probably say but it's so humid. If someone says she is pretty you would say she is ugly. You have an answer for everything. You enjoy being the opposite of everyone else, yet you know that it is costing you friendship and companionship. In spite of all of your thinking, you still feel lonely.
    I've been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. It sucks. Find some joy. Find some reasons to smile. Stop worrying about being the most ironic guy in the room.
     
  12. Grass is always greener on the other side. 180 cm is a good height and I think that many guys envy you for that.

    And you said that you have bad looks and bad social skills. But why don't you work on your social skills? Even your looks. Sounds like you feel that you have an effeminate body. Ok, then do some bench presses and work on your shoulders. Find out where your genes can get you...
     
  13. Toni7

    Toni7 Fapstronaut

    You are only one who can change all of that!
    Start working on yourself immediately!
    If you don't it wont go away by itself. It will last!
    And I know you can do it!
     
  14. upload_2021-8-30_17-29-25.jpeg
     
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