Anyone who failed past 3 weeks or more?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by fhalcorn, Jun 19, 2017.

  1. fhalcorn

    fhalcorn Fapstronaut

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    Hi, i stsrted noFap 2 weeks ago (I don't think i was addicted in the first pace although i masturbated 2 to 3 times a day) and today I failed, what happened is that I don't remember how I felt when i was massturbating everyday so I didn't know if I was feeling the benefits.

    What i discovered is that I've asted 1h of the day half masturbating and half just feeling tired, but past that time, I feel the same as this morning, but It's difficult to say, I don't know, probably I need to masturbate a few mor times in a few more days to feel the fifference, and that's what brings me to my question.

    Can anyone who has failed past 3 weeks or more and has given up for several days explain how he/she felt?

    This would help me a lot and i think a lot of people too, the more people who responds the mor acurate the result so please give me some feedback :D

    Sorry if I mispelled any words, english is not my first language.
     
  2. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    It feels terrible. The longer you are out, I find that the worse it feels. I have done it many times over 3 weeks. Once around 3-4 month range. You can never get complacent. Over time, slowly my fatigued disappeared, I had more energy, I had less bouts of depression, but also you forget how bad PMO is and how it really destroys your life, and you are not as vigilant. But afterwards, all the pain and sorrow returns.
     
  3. DonDraper

    DonDraper Fapstronaut

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    I fell somewhere around 60 days. It was a very low blow. Like all that hard work just vanishes and you start at square one.
     
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  4. Enderswish604

    Enderswish604 Fapstronaut

    I think I've relapsed after the 3 week mark, maybe 3 or 4 times. But back then my "relapses" would build up, like I'd start to watch porn again, and then a few days later, I'd be edging. I'd stop it all, and then, bam! Full blown relapse.
    In the moment it can range from feeling so good that you'd want that rush and euphoria forever (but it never ever lasts or would last), to just completely and utterly wasteful.
    The longer you go though, the worse it actually feels to relapse even in the moment, because while it may feel great physically, mentally you know that you are throwing and wasting away all that you built for the past month or so.
    As for the after effects.... extreme anxiety, depression, paranoia, general nervousness, worthlessness, helplessness, self-hatred, misanthropy, partial or complete misogyny, and just the broadest and most generalised sensation of feeling like complete and utter dog shit.
    And no, I'm not stating what I've read. I'm writing all this from my own experience. The hardest part after a relapse is to look through the muddled and numbed out thoughts before all these negativities properly grip you. You have no idea what it's like to feel completely "fine" after a relapse, only to have some random song from your own collection trigger you into a puddle of tears and wails just a day or two, or even a few hours removed from it.
     
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  5. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    Listen to me, your brain tricking you brother. I relapsed around day 23 so a little over 3 weeks and my brain tried reasoning with itself. It wants the dopamine so it reasons with itself. It's a mind trick. It does not feel good, as you can see w everybody's response here
     
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  6. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    Went into a spiral of the chaser effect of 3 days for a month or so. But I'm on day 30 something I think, I don't really know. So it is possible to get back up after the chaset effect, but it delays healing time and isn't worth it
     
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  7. fhalcorn

    fhalcorn Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot to everyone who responded, I't nice to have a comunity like this that listens to your problems and tries to help.
    Right now I'm setting an Indefinite goal to see how long I can go without maturbating.
    Thanks again for your honesty, it has helped more than you think.
     
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  8. Enderswish604

    Enderswish604 Fapstronaut

    As a matter of honest experience, you can go without M as long as you want to, provided you exercise self-control. No one NEEDS to masturbate, that is one of the biggest lies modern society (and even some medical journals) tell us. It may be "normal" and part of adolescent growth, but it is far far far away from being a necessity. My personal advice to you would be to set a fixed goal to start off with (like a month), and once you've made it through to that goal, set yourself the next one and follow through without PMOing in between the two. And so on.
    Anyway, best of luck in any case. :)
     
  9. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    Same here.
     
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  10. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    If you binge maybe. If you just MO it's bad, but not the worst thing if you don't binge
     
  11. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    I relapsed after 28 days.

    Whenever I relapse after 15 days or more, it always follows the same pattern: I let my guard down and start allowing sexualized (but non-pornographic) content to catch my attention in a sidebar ad ... next thing you know, I'm allowing myself to fantasize excessively about some random woman in the grocery store or the gym ... before long, I'm intentionally searching for sexualized, non-pornographic images ... there may be some light edging involved, or maybe not ... I start looking for ways around my filters & phone restrictions (which thankfully is difficult) ... until I'm looking at full-on porn and masturbating. Sometimes I end up edging for hours thinking, "as long as I don't have an orgasm, it doesn't really count", which is the worst f***ing rationalization ever. Inevitably I end up O'ing and feel horrible about it.

    This process can occur over the course of a few days, but it always follows the same pattern. I allow a small crack in the dam that doesn't get repaired properly (or even at all), and then before I know it, the dam is breached and I'm completely off the rails. The important thing is to pay attention and be vigilant. When we're in recovery and we've stayed away from porn, we'll find ourselves triggered by things that aren't nearly as obvious or extreme--and it's important for us to take those things seriously, even if they haven't been problems in the past. You know how they say, "treat every gun as if it's loaded?" Well, that's how I have to view images of hot women ... because any of them could end up being a one-way ticket to relapse for me.
     
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  12. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight Fapstronaut

    I can only relate to nearly all here. I actually did not M for 4 months, the last time I M'd was end of February. I had relapses though, but they happened because I watched "too hot videos" and then just sperm came out.

    After every relapse, I felt horrible. I needed weeks to recover myself, and I was like a different person after the relapse. My lust in everything I enjoyed to do before just vanished. I started up beating myself for the relapse.

    Recently I M'd, and it was the worst experience of all. I M'd 13 days ago, and the last time I actually touched my penis to get sperm coming out was end of February.

    It was the hell. I can say that always, after every relapse I just felt horrible and like utter dogshit. Before the relapse, I was confident, had faith in myself and my goals, and I was pursuing them with joy. (e.g. fitness). After the workout, my mind because clouded, I got brainfog, and I simply felt inferior, comparing myself with persons again (which I had not done during my long streaks)

    Therefore, never relapse. I am still recovering my from my relapse, after nearly 2 week.s
     
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  13. BullseyeChris

    BullseyeChris Fapstronaut

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    After exactly 3 weeks of no MB and 2 weeks of no P, I relapsed with MB last night. (Just once, w/out porn). 3 weeks was great progress for me, and I was feeling strong before that. But I fooled myself into thinking that I could mess around physically just a little bit, but next then you know I was full out MBing. Then I felt myself at the brink of no return, and I COULD have stopped there and I should have, but the part of me that thought "screw it, just finish off" won out. And it wasn't even that amazing of an O, but I was left feeling disappointed, realizing that the pay out ≠ the cost. Also, my thoughts weren't exactly the best, and I had been doing well in managing my thoughts up to that point.

    I decided not to beat myself up over it, to celebrate my progress, and to pick up where I left off, because it's NOT a defeat, and I did NOT lose all of the progress I made. It's just 1 slip up in a long journey. I started to mess around after my shower this morning, and part of me wanted to continue, but the better part won out this time, and reminded me of these facts. If if DO slip up again, I will be slipping back father and the 3 weeks I held out would be for nothing. Not worth it!! And I would probably find myself slipping back into porn before I knew it, as well.

    Fhalcorn, you have not abstained long enough to really notice any of the effects. The positive ones do not come overnight! Everyone is different, but in my experience, the first week-10 days is the biggest battle bec your body wants you to fap and look at porn, and that drive is mainly coming from a sense of habit. Once you pass 10 days or so, it becomes much easier to say no, and the desire will be less, but it will come back at you hard from time to time. But that's also when you start to notice the real benefits of confidence and feeling masculine and "clean." Certainly by 2 weeks you will notice. But if you fap a few times after only abstaining for a few days, you won't notice anything significantly different, because you are still in PMO habit mode. You have to break past that before you will notice anything truly different, good or bad. The fact that you find it difficult to not masturbate for just a few days before your mind convinces you to test it out to see if it is even working shows just how dependent upon fapping you have become. Keep it up, and you will begin to notice the changes. You don't have to go and fap again right away to see the difference! You can do it, bro! You'll never know unless you try it out for yourself. :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2017
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  14. fhalcorn

    fhalcorn Fapstronaut

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    Hi there, 2W update, now I'm at the point in which I failed the first time I attempted nofap, It's been a lot easier this tme.
    Thanks a lot to everyone who replied, specially BullseyeChris, i found your comment specially helpfull.
    I'll try to stop forever but if I fail, you will probably hear of me again. :D
     
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  15. lantti

    lantti Fapstronaut

    Last summer I had streaks of 21 and right after that 20. Too bad after that It's been rocky road. Why did I fail last summer? My ex-girlfriend denounced me the first time around, and to be honest: alcohol ruined the second chance. After the weekend party I relapsed so fast you wouldn't believe.

    I've been struggling over a year because of stupid mistakes. No more.
     
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