Anyone who lost their virginity in their 30s: how did you do it?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by himmelstoss, Nov 3, 2015.

  1. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    Seems like it would be really hard to do and I'm only a year away.
  2. Zinc

    Zinc Fapstronaut

    I lost my virginity to a whore at 16, prehaps you should do the same if you are getting into your 30s, I personaly can't even imagine how it feels to be virgin even in 20s, let alone 30s to me it sounds so surreal. Or find a virgin woman who is in the same situation as you, prehaps some nerdy gamer girl. My 2cents
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
  3. TTTM

    TTTM Fapstronaut

    I was 27 and I regret it. Don't place so much importance on it otherwise you'll do something stupid. It's much more important to be the best person you can be. Let's say you did have sex just before your 30 birthday but then by your 31st you were given a terminal diagnosis. I can promise you, you wouldn't be saying..."Well at least I finally lost my virginity!" Focus on what's important.

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

    I am 23 and still a virgin. I do however believe that I will loose my virginity not too far down the road. I am currently dating several different girls and need to take a few chances. I have never kissed a girl altough I have gotten kissed a few times. My fear of kissing is less of a challenge now as I have layed the foundation by flirting and touching. Nofap helps in transforming anxiety to lust. The key to success is to flirt. Start with innocent touching of hands, shoulders. Continue with lower back, hugging, stomach. At last touch her face, hair, neck, tights, hips. I was on a date on sunday and I pretty much did all of that but I didnt kiss her. She likes me tough and thats something. My confidence levels are as high as ever. I workout almost every day, meditate, cold shower and do tons of homework. All this makes me feel better about myself and is probably helping aswell
    telepath909 likes this.
  5. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    I can see lines on my forehead from a mile away. I'd hate to look like someone's dad before I've even lost my virginity.
  6. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    I did it at 25. Now I'm 28. I lost it with and ex girlfriend, she is oldee than me and more experienced as well. It was good and it was fun. I just stopped being afraid about everything
    zero01 likes this.
  7. TTTM

    TTTM Fapstronaut

    Because I wasn't ready emotionally. A constant diet of PMO had ruined me sexually. The relationship lasted about 3 months and fizzled.
  8. i am 38...or is it 39, I forget. I am still a virgin and love love love it!!!
    Kingskid and iborntobefree like this.
  9. L Coroneos

    L Coroneos Fapstronaut

    I lost my virginity at age 26. How did I do it?

    a) She was ugly, and
    b) She was desperate.

    I also wasn't emotionally ready for it. I had sex again a few years ago with someone who was not so ugly. Once again, it was she who "picked me up" i.e. made the advances. It was much better that time... except that she was someone's wife! I got punched in the head over that. Don't have sex with another man's wife.

    Are you sure you're emotionally ready to lose your virginity?
    telepath909, Hoots and iborntobefree like this.
  10. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

    What has your history with women been like?

    Just because you haven't had a woman and been on PMO for WAY too long (like most of us) doesn't mean that you aren't desirable in some way.

    My blind prognosis is that you need to go out and make some female friends. Go on Tinder or something with the goal of making friends ONLY. Nothing else.

    Also, what is the rest of your life like? Do you have a job? Do you like it? What do you do for fun? What are your interests? Are in in decent shape or are you a slob?

    The answers aren't so important unless the answers are something like... you hate your job, hate your life, only watch TV and are fat and lazy. Then you need to change and bring out your better self. There's a key for every lock, but you need to brush off the rust possibly. I'm just guessing since I don't know anything about you. Since we are all anonymous, do you care to be brutally honest about yourself?

    I had terrible trouble with women in my 20s and earlier. Mostly because I hated myself and didn't do anything that I liked. I was lazy or doing things that I thought I should do that brought me no happiness.

    So you can take my blind assumptions or you can be vulnerable. I'd like to give you my 2 cents as someone who has been there.
  11. Just turned 34 and am still a virgin. A homosexual virgin, though; been to Thailand and "had sex" with a woman. One of the most awkward experiences of my life.
  12. high school kids have had more action then me!!
  14. some times I think I will be in my 90's before I get a girl friend!!
    yoyo1 likes this.
  15. brucecarlmurray

    brucecarlmurray Fapstronaut

    It's a terrible feeling, in a world where your contemporaries have 'apparently' lost their virginity by their early 20s, to feel outside of normality. I lost my (penetrative) virginity at 27, so I have some idea of how you might be feeling. When it finally happened, it involved alcohol and a woman I didn't really like, in many respects. The sex was exciting in a functional way, but isn't something I remember fondly.
    In Australia, there is a stand-up comedian/TV host named Dave Hughes. He told the story that he was a was a virgin well into his 20s and, in desperation, visited a prostitute in a registered brothel. He said that after he'd done that once, that his attitude changed and he started having some success having sex with women in bars - anyway.
    If your lack of experience, is really doing your head in visiting a brothel might be a solution (I'm assuming you're Hetero), IF they are government sanctioned and LEGAL in your home country, and of course with condoms and spermicidal jelly. Or - get stuck into one of those impersonal sex-aps and find a one-off casual sex partner online, which I've never tried...but don't think that your situation is that unusual. It is a misconception in this world that everyone is constantly having sex all the time. Stay Cool.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    I'll go to a hooker if I have to but it seems like everyone on nofap who tried it felt like shit afterwards. Apps like tinder actually sound fun but I don't think I'm hot enough yet.

    Funny, sadness stops me from relapsing
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2015
  17. Youth

    Youth Fapstronaut

    You have so much more power than you give yourself credit for. All because you enslave yourself with society's backwards view about virginity.

    I lost mine years ago, and can tell you it will change your life in absolutely no way.

    Virginity is sacred, beautiful, something to be celebrated!
    Society convinces you otherwise through subtle fear tactics.
    Just look at all society is trying to push on young people in this way.
    Virginity is a virtue.
    Be proud!

    If you want to free yourself, and I know you do, start thinking about you and your life as a soul. If sex wasn't needed, becuse you know that you are already worthy, what would you do? What would your soul do? What passions would you pursue? How would you change the world?
  18. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

    Some people have sex with hundreds of other people but themselves are emotional virgins.

    Find someone who appreciates you and likewise and be emotionally open and vulnerable with them. The sex just comes after that (no pun intended).

    The more I learn about life and women, the more I learn that honesty is the best policy. Be honest with women. You'll scare a bunch off, but the right ones will be drawn in. If you're in your 30s and are a virgin by circumstance, you need to reevaluate your life. Ask questions and answer them brutally honestly. You won't like all the answers. I'm 31 and still single. I have to be honest that I wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship for a long time. I was scared of women and always avoided them. Or when I pursued them I unconsciously chose ones that would not be good for me.

    Also, I have some personal issues to solve.... plus some just really bad luck. It's not always your fault if you're single or a virgin. But it is your responsibility.

    Women won't really care about your past so much. They care about who you are now. You could have been awesome and kind and handsome in college, but if you're a mean slob now, she won't care. If you were awkward, mean, and out of shape... but changed, she will like you for that now.

    You may have to change things. Change into the person you want to be. And if you are already there... look harder for a girl who likes you. You may have to get rid of your expectations of a hot 22 year old girlfriend if you're 30 and broke. But there are plenty of other women who would like you. They're probably not all 10s but finding a 7 isn't all that hard. (not that the judgment for women is solely a 1-10 scale of looks, there are other things that are way more important)
  19. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    7s are still hot but I'll be damned if I let myself be used as a consolation prize
  20. Libero

    Libero Fapstronaut

    I lost my virginity aged 30. I hadn't had a girlfriend due to incredible shyness and a fat fetish which means that very few girls appealed to me.

    Yet around the time of my 30th birthday I started dating a girl from work who had started coming on to me. She wasn't fat, she was conventionally 'hot' and I decided to try her, more as an ego boost than anything. I soon began to resent her (she drank way too much) and our early attempts at having sex were disastrous. I planned to end the relationship but I just liked being seen with her. It wasn't right, but I felt I was making some progress. My friends were all saying how great my girlfriend was (she wasn't) and my parents thought I was finally getting somewhere.

    One night I went out planning to cheat on her. I went to a bbw club and wanted to meet a big girl and see if sex would be different. The night was sterile and I wasn't interested in hooking up with any of them.

    I went home to my girlfriend a little drunk, and at 3am, I lost my virginity with her. I was kind of pleased. Kind of. We broke up a few months later (thank goodness) but I'm glad I lost it with a bit of emotion involved. It wasn't exactly romantic. She never knew I was a virgin, she never knew I'd gone out planning to cheat on her.

    What a weird way to do it. But I'm glad it happened.
    lionace and rabbitz like this.

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