Anyone who lost their virginity in their 30s: how did you do it?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by himmelstoss, Nov 3, 2015.

  1. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Agreed that it's more of an urban legend. I think the same amount of people who want no strings attached sex are out there as they have always been, but now it's easier to find them through social media. The real test if it's fact or fiction, ask someone who is in the game how much unattached sex are they getting. I think you will find unless they are some great looking guy with an incredible personality, that most people still have to look pretty hard to find the one-night-stand or no strings attached booty call.
    By the way, unattached sex is the most unfulfilling sex there is. You are much better off waiting to find someone that you have a mutual interest in.
     
    HopeFaith likes this.
  2. RJ_McReady

    RJ_McReady Guest

    Relax dude. First of all, forget your age, all that does is scare you. Norman Vincent peale tells a great story about the owner of a hotel who he asked how old the guy was. The hotel owner replied, here a bit of advice, forget your age and think only healthy thoughts. Turns out the guy was 87 and in supreme shape.
    I lost my virginity at 31. Honestly it was no big deal to me. I never bought into any society bullshit that you should have this or that done by a certain age. Do your own thing, forget what anyone else does. The amount of sex you have in your life is your choice man, forget your age and just go for it.
     
  3. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    I would say that you should look for a girl you like from the point of view of her character and personality and create a relationship. This would facilitate ongoing sexual experiences rather than one night stand you would regret! Woman need a man who can be trusted, to make them feel secure. A man who sleeps around sadly does not provide this for us. It is beautiful to be a virgin but loosing your virginity just for the sake of it would make you sell yourself for very cheep.

    If I were you I would start asking woman out for dates, tea or coffee and talk to them. Once you find someone easy going and nice to talk to then you could attempt to progress the relationship. Honesty is always the best way forward.

    I would love nothing more than a man who is a virgin as it is nothing worse than to be in bed with a man and his other 50 girlfriends! Too all the virgin man, you are all a gemstones in the society promoting filth! You should be pitting all those who sell themselves short and contract STDs left and right! It is like feeling jealous of your P jerking friend when you do not PMO! This is crazy and upside down thinking. Every one of you is an potentially excellent husband material!

    I can only advise you to invest all your energy at finding a pleasant companion for life long sexual experiences who you could love and trust.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2016
  4. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    maybe I became a "gemstone" because I grew up believing that women hated sex, that my very presence offended women, and that men who wanted to have sex with women instead of talking about their periods were evil. Meanwhile the women (none of which had to save themselves for anything) who actually knew me were probably laughing about how ridiculous I was being. But I guess being dragged down by liars and cuckolds (who all deserve cement shoes btw) is ok if it makes women feel "secure." Sorry for not putting your fantasy ahead of my reality
     
  5. Merlionno

    Merlionno Guest

    Dafuck does a cuckold mean man :p ?
     
  6. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    I think woman and man alike hate sex for sex. We are created to make love and to do that, feelings need to be involved. This is why all those in the porn industry really suffer and are really hurt! It does not matter how much it looks fun, it is not! They are mostly on drugs or drink to numb their broken hearts! Sex for the sake of sex is ugly and leaves the participants hurt. You need to put some heart in it man! And there is nothing more we girls want than a man who loves us and is good at sex!:D We are just shy and pretend to be hard to get:p LOL.
     
  7. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    The main women in my life weren't shy so much as shrill and bitter
     
  8. RJ_McReady

    RJ_McReady Guest

    Man why are you so angry? You sound like a victim, like people/women, are doing this to you. That sex is something being denied you by women, like a conspiracy. All that does is poison you, not anyone else, and when you walk around with that victim mentality people will respond accordingly and avoid you. There was a guy who went on a gun rampage in the states last year because he was convinced women were deliberately denying him sex and giving it to undeserving men instead. His videos were on youtube and they're scary because it shows how deluded a person can get once they become convinced of something. He was out of touch with reality and it was sad to see.
    Nobody is doing this to you man. I know you can't see it right now but you're the one holding yourself back. You hold yourself back by bring consumed with anger towards women, unjustified anger. And they pick this up. You think you can hide your contempt for women.......not a chance, your thoughts and how you feel about people are communicated whether you like it or not. And nobody who you dislike so much will give you the time of day.
    You need to let go of the anger man and take an honest look at who is really holding you back.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2016
  9. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    Leave Elliot Roger out of this. I never said women denied me anything (that I know of.) I know for a fact that there was at least one girl who had a crush on me, she wasn't even that bad looking and I'm still kicking myself for rejecting her. Look, I get why women are attracted to the men that they are (although anyone who takes their frustration out on all the men she never wanted is being a huge bitch.) They're smart, ambitious, they have opinions, and they work hard to look as good as they do, and I think the women they attract reflect that. I'm just frustrated because I want to be like those men and that I'm less than a year away from being 30 (which I'm told means a drop in testosterone that will make it even harder for me.) To give you an idea, there's this bodybuilder on another forum I read who is 30, an electrical engineer, everyone assumes he's good with women and asks him for tips, but aside from one time with a thai hooker he's a virgin and constantly whines about it. Apparently he had a pretty dysfunctional family and a lot of his male relatives are forever alone and he's worried he'll end up like that too. I think the only thing I actually have going for me that he doesn't is that I quit porn but he doesn't see the point. And yet something about dating terrifies him. You think I want to end up like that if I haven't already?

    Edit: anyway, I gave myself until the end of March to set up a dating profile. Hopefully that will at least get me started.
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2016
  10. L Coroneos

    L Coroneos Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. Women can be difficult creatures, but there's nothing better than a fine lady. I will let you guys know if I score again. Actually I had this drunk woman all over me the other night, she kept giving me hugs. And then she passed out cold :p
     
  11. Progressive Death Mettle

    Progressive Death Mettle Fapstronaut

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    If getting chicks is your biggest, most pressing issue in life, then consider yourself lucky. Where my family came from, you worked 14 hours a day on a handful of rice. You had family members who were tortured, beaten and forced into the absolute worst living conditions imaginable. I always keep that in mind when I feel like bitching about my job or my shitty life.
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2016
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  12. Progressive Death Mettle

    Progressive Death Mettle Fapstronaut

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    Spot on. People need to spend a couple of days in Syria or Somalia before they start complaining. This country is filled with a bunch of whiners who refuse to accept responsibility for their lousy existence. You want a girl? What the fuck is stopping you!
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2016
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  13. cybermonk

    cybermonk Fapstronaut

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    Male virginity is way overrated compared to female virginity.

    When a female loses her virginity, she experiences pain and some bleeding, and the male has to be real gentle or even stop if it becomes too uncomfortable for her. Having sex for the first time is a big event for a female because she actually loses something: her hymen.

    When a male loses his virginity, he inserts his penis inside a vagina. That's it. Literally the only thing that happens is that he stops being a "virgin" in his own mind. He doesn't lose anything.

    See how stupid it is for a guy to obsess over losing his virginity?
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2016
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  14. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    Sex with a drunk :eek::confused:o_O?
     
  15. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Ha, that's true. I will also add that losing your virginity doesn't guarantee that you will have more sex than you had before after you did it. It doesn't flip a magical switch in your aura or whatever.

    (Sorry for not answering your original question, @himmelstoss, like most other people here. I just felt like adding my 2 cents this way.)
     
  16. RJ_McReady

    RJ_McReady Guest

    I dont even know what the bit in bold means. Who are you talking about thats taking their frustrations out on men they didnt want???
    Those guys youre talking about.......you're as good as they are. The problem is not that they're smart or ambitious or have opionions or that they look better than you, the problem is what you're comparing yourself to other people and coming up short. These men dont have anything you dont have!! You have it all and you dont even see it, thats the tragedy. Thats why you dont connect with women because you have ruled yourself out. Believe me if you had a high opionion of yourself women would respond accordingly. Its nothing to do with them, its all you and the way you see yourself.
    If you change the way you think about yourself then everything externally will change. Try this, just imagine that you're amazing looking and everything else and that women find you irresistable. If you do this and your brain instantly argues against it, then you are 100% certain that you are being your own worst enemy. But resist it. Keep telling yourself over and over, women find me irressitible and do it with feeling. Do it out in public(in your head of course) and look women in the eye as you pass them, I guarantee that you will get a lot of looks from them. Good looks, like sexual looks. Its all about the vibe you put out and that is completely up to you. If you're vibe is angry and full of self loathing and doubt, then you'll get the product of that. But if its full of self appreciation, then you'll get that reflected back. If your heart is filled with love then I promise you will get that back in spades. But if its filled with resentment and bitterness then people will avoid you, even if they cant articulate why, they'll just stay away from you.
    Forget the dating profile and the time limits to get laid. I guarantee you that if you get nowhere with women in the real world then you will get double that on line. Nothing will change because you havent evolved. You have to genuinely let go of the resentment and everything else negative thats eating you up, and develop a view of yourself thats full of self love and appreciation. If you do this you will see an amazing difference with how people respond to you, not just women, everyone. And when this happens you will start to feel more connected to everyone and as by product of that you'll feel like its not them v you, or that you're not as good as others, you'll feel like you belong and you're on an equal footing with everyone. The whole thing will change, you're vibe, your sense of happiness and your appearance. Ive seen people who were angry and bitter let it all go and subsequently look like different people completley afterwards. If you love yourself then you will extend that to everyone else without trying, it'll just happen. And when you do that you're giving not looking to take all the time. Like trying to get sex from a woman, thats taking and it doesnt work, unless you pay for it and thats soul destroying. But if you love and accept yourself then you only want to give and women will be all over you, thats a promise.
     
  17. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    This is the smartest thing I have read on this forum! Simply brilliant! Applies to me too although I am not trying to get laid :D
     
  18. melancholy king

    melancholy king Fapstronaut

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    I have heard that too much testosterone is linked to male pattern baldness (which means I must be just filled with testosterone lol) which is also coincidentally linked to prostate cancer, so don't feel too bad bud.

    You seriously think other guys are like that? I'm all of those things and it clearly hasn't made me a catch with women at all, don't assume that other guys are better than you, because there's a good chance that they aren't.
     
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  19. L Coroneos

    L Coroneos Fapstronaut

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    No I didn't have sex with her, she was too wasted :) Plus it would be immoral to do so.
     
  20. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    You say that but I see plenty of low t-looking guys who are somehow going bald. My barber says it could be medications or industrial chemicals or god knows what but even if testosterone did make me go bald at least I'd be a ripped bald guy. Seriously though, even on this forum the 30-50 year old virgins sound like their sexuality just died on the vine. Like the drop in testosterone meant that they didn't have enough drive to overcome first-time anxiety. Meanwhile I've been trying to move out for 2 years due to problems at home and I've been feeling completely defeated since I turned 29.
     

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