anyone wish they had PIED?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by cleaningupmyact, Sep 18, 2022.

  1. cleaningupmyact

    cleaningupmyact Fapstronaut

    its kinda crazy, but i kinda do.
    Ive been such a horrible addict for so long and have had way too much success hiding it, even from people I date.

    of course, it destroys me and my life, but i still can hide it. I wish I had even more problems cause then i think id have to stop. i want to stop. ugh.
    +TenPercent likes this.
  2. from2003

    from2003 Fapstronaut

    Bro, you can recover now also no matter what was your mentality was maybe because of horniness but bro now you should look further steps about how it will impact on your love ones. Stay strong
  3. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

    Even with PIED you'll still want to look at porn, the physical aspect might no longer be there but the mental one remains.
    Wuugazi32 and desmond318 like this.
  4. from2003

    from2003 Fapstronaut

    Yesssss for sure
  5. new socks

    new socks Fapstronaut

    @cleaningupmyact just look at how many posts there are of guys who experience PIED and still struggle. You have to decide when you’ve had enough and when you’re ready to turn your life around. This also sounds like some cliché minimisation: “I’m not as bad as that guy so…”. The locus of control is within you, not some specific set of consequences. Take your power back! Best of luck to you!
    wayneking259 and stepitup like this.
  6. I totally get this.
  7. wayneking259

    wayneking259 Fapstronaut

    This is so true.

    I've struggled with PIED, and have thought to myself on many occasions, "how is this not enough to motivate me to quit full-stop?". Would I be better off if I lost my job and all my personal relationships? Would that be the rock-bottom that I need to descend to in order to finally beat this addiction?

    Obviously not.... There is no rock-bottom. Things could always be worse, and it's up to you when you're going to turn your life around. Don't wait for motivation.

    I've found that being grateful for what I do have is a lot more conducive to living a fulfilling and enjoyable life, with or without the porn addiction.

    I do understand where OP is coming from. It's easy to get lost in the search for motivation, and "negative" motivation can be really powerful. But when I have those types of thoughts, same as the OP is expressing, it's important to recognize that motivation, whether positive or negative, isn't really what makes the difference. It might be really strong in the moment, and there are some people who can rely on it for a long time, but I've found that motivation does not actually equate to success, or even fewer mistakes.

    It's your own choice to develop, accepting that there will be times when you don't feel like it, but you continue on anyway. That goes well beyond motivation.
    new socks likes this.
  8. new socks

    new socks Fapstronaut

    Right, the rock bottom thing is kind of a myth. Or I misinterpreted it at least. The insight comes from people who have recovered. From their perspective there is a clear point where their suffering was at its worst and they make a commitment and follow through. Hindsight is always on the money, as the saying goes…

    I think for me this expectation just caused more problems. I got the impression that there was no real chance of recovery until you find your rock bottom, and that once you do recovery will come easy. That’s not gonna happen. The longer you wait the more ingrained the patterns will become, the more fed up everyone around you will get, the more all the consequences will build up.

    I know that I am prone to feeling helpless and not being able to put in the time and effort consistently and for long enough and this idea has given me more justification for that. “I failed so I must not be ready, just haven’t hit my rock bottom”.

    I think what I would take from this now is that you should expect to fail, be ready for it! Progress won’t be constant. There will be times when it’s all overwhelming and you can’t make much progress, learn to rest and treat yourself with compassion. There will be times when stress is high and your subconscious takes over, leading you back to your bad habits, learn to identify your weaknesses and limitations so you can avoid these situations in the future. After you find yourself re-engaging with these behaviours, don’t view it as a failure and allow yourself to continue, view it as a part of the process and get back on track as soon as you can. I have wasted years of my life and my wife’s life because I didn’t get fully involved with my recovery work again after a setback. I deeply regret this and I don’t want anyone else to have to experience it.

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