Oh brothers, i can’t even describe how bad I am feeling right now. Not only am I hungover from last night, I also relapsed three times already after a pathetic 4-day streak. I pray everyday, however I feel that I can’t ask God anymore for help, since I completely do not follow his guidance and I am doing something wrong. I’m a 21 year old with severe nicotine addiction and porn addiction which also connects with me posting pics on such sites as Reddit and pay for videochats with girls. I pray that God washes away my sins and gives me hope and motivation, however I feel nothing. Complete apathy. Even when I pray, I don’t know what awaits me in the future, but right now I would love to fall asleep and never wake up again.
Get back up from your fall brother and please recognize the devil is at work for your soul and mine. Depression, Doubt in God's mercy, Despair at our own failures these are tools of the devil. Ultimately, the devil would like his well of his misery to make it appear impossible to quit. Don't fall prey to these tricks of the devil or his greatest deception whereby he hopes to convince you that he doesn't exist. I committed this miserable sin for many, many years. At age 12, when I first committed it, I knew what I was doing was a sin; so I have no excuse of ignorance. As time wore on and my sins mounted, just like you, I wondered if God could ever forgive me but I can attest that He has never given up on me and likewise He will not give up on you. He waited a long time for me to learn enough to follow His way and He was patient with me. Finally, I am feeling the joy of being free from this sin. I am still tempted, because the devil doesn't give up, but my resistance, gained through God's grace and self-discipline is stronger than it has ever been. So it can be for you. When you are tempted, immediately pray for grace and then make a promise to remain chaste for whatever small period of time you know you can manage (5min, 10, 1hr, whatever). Pray with your heart to God, at least every day, better still, several times per day. Recognize temptation when it comes to you and commit to not letting your thoughts linger there for a second. In my case, it only takes a few seconds of lingering to open the door to my mind and I don't want that torture anymore. I am praying for you. Please pray for me.
@CPilot has it exactly right: We must fight and win this battle the very second the first tempting thought enters the mind. If we hesitate, we are lost. We must decide in advance that we do not want what PMO has to offer us. If we are unsure or if we do not trust God to provide for us, we will continue to choose poorly. If this is where you are at, be honest about it. Your current status will not surprise God! Wherever you find yourself, look toward him: He is the only thing that can save us. Learn and practice the FREEdom process. This has been the bulk of my work on recovery, to learn and apply these principles. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zqVL11JjWICOHCRUDmqXr9TNC_gpb6yhRF1hKp-fxcc/edit If I can ever be of service to you as an AP, please let me know. We cannot fight and win this on our own!
