Apology..

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by BigTruck, Apr 25, 2020.

  1. James2James

    James2James Fapstronaut

    132
    250
    63
    K - good start. Motivational vids are excellent. If you haven't watched the TedTalk with Gary Wilson yet, do so. Tells you everything you want to know about your brain's reaction to long term porn. It's on YouTube. It will help.

    Some people find meditation a help. I can't see how it could hurt really. Ten minutes a day; getting in touch with your inner self. Good time spent.

    Cold showers help invigorate you and to clear your head. I don't use cold showers to stop urges, I use them to liven me up and make me think clearly. They make me feel strong. They do help. Start slow. You don't have to start stupid-cold right off the bat.

    Look into the hack-book. That kind of stuff does work for some people. What do you have to lose? It's free.

    Most people keep a journal. I find writing helps me in the quest. I like to write here because this helps me as much as it may help you. The writing keeps me thinking, positive, and grounded. I also keep a private journal.

    I also like motivational quotes and fables. Things like this:

    -Start THINKING like someone who LOVES doing the thing that you are
    trying to do, HATES doing the thing that you are trying to quit, and is INDIFFERENT to the cost of making this transaction.

    and

    THE RIVER AND THE ROCKS

    One day, the master was watching a practice session in the courtyard. He realized that the presence of the other students was interfering with the young man’s attempts to perfect his technique.

    The master could sense the young man’s frustration. He went up to the young man and tapped him on his shoulder. “What’s the problem?” he inquired. “I don’t know”, said the youth, with a strained expression. “No matter how much I try, I am unable to execute the moves properly”. “Before you can master technique, you must understand harmony. Come with me, I will explain”, replied the master.

    The teacher and student left the building and walked some distance into the woods until they came upon a stream. The master stood silently on the bank for several moments. Then he spoke. “Look at the stream,” he said. “There are rocks in its way. Does it slam into them out of frustration? It simply flows over and around them and moves on! Be like the water and you will know what harmony is.”

    The young man took the master’s advice to heart. Soon, he was barely noticing the other students around him. Nothing could come in his way of executing the most perfect moves.



    These things motivate me for sure.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2020
    BigTruck likes this.
  2. PopularLoner

    PopularLoner Fapstronaut

    81
    86
    18
    What happened? I think it will be good for you now that people know tell someone it will help
     
  3. 1ANDDONE

    1ANDDONE Fapstronaut

    92
    148
    33


    Everybody falls the first time....



    First of all, take time to understand your issue. You are not addicted to "porn addiction". You are addicted to a neurological brain/motivational reward you can trigger using porn. Some trigger it with drugs, some with alcohol, some with gambling, cigarettes, alcohol, sex, etc.

    If you are going to fix the problem, take time to know what it is. You won't hit the target if you don't know what the target is.

    I am in complete control. But, I was where you are many years ago. You are the 10,000th guy to show up here and announce "I am done, it's over, I am quit", only to show up two hours, two days, two weeks later, and announce they failed. Most people do not know what they are quitting, and so, naturally, fail.

    Your condition did not just "happen" to you, you did it to your self. It took time, effort, commitment, to train your brain to use porn to create that neurological brain/reward event, a dopamine high, to the extent that if you did not give it that, your brain really, really, fucks you up.

    It will take no less time, effort, commitment to train your brain to live without it.

    The two weeks was not a waste of your time, but you have to truly embrace that it is not porn you are quitting, though you are quitting porn. You are quitting getting high. If anything is addictive, it is the high. It's a nice high. But, if you are going to get clean, you must commit to giving up the high, which sucks, because, as you have discovered, we like that high.

    You are going to have to accept that quitting hurts. You are going to have to embrace that pain. Do not run from it, move toward it. One of the mental tricks no one tells you is that you are going to have to get up every day and want the pain. There is no easy way out, but there is a way out, and it is via pain. It's OK. Do it long enough, and you wake up one day and you don't miss the high, you don't miss the porn, you won't feel the pain. There is no consensus of how long that takes, but most show results by going without that high for 90 days. There is a tipping point out in your future, where you want NOT to access porn more than you want to.

    This can be done, you can do it. But, don't expect to run a fast race on your first try. Running a fast race takes time and effort, over time, practice. You practiced to get to where you are, you will have to practice to get where you want to go; it is exercise, it is a job, it is a chore. Understand this. When I first quit I thought it would last forever. It does not. When I first quit, no one told me the pain was temporary--fucking still a long time--but temporary. I thought, "This feels like dying, and if I have to feel like dying, every day, for the rest of my life, I will feel it, rather than go back." That is the commitment you need to make. It does fade, goes away, then one day, for the rest of your life, you will be OK, you won't want it, you won't miss it, and the pain goes away. But, don't think you are getting out without the pain. Let the pain become your best friend. Welcome it, want it. It goes away, and I don't miss it, but I know I could not have fixed this problem without it.

    Good luck to you.

    1ANDDONE

    Much love.
     
    Viador and jeffmbaptist like this.
  4. Even in an anonymous forum it's very brave to say such a thing. It's very brave and healthy to admit it to oneself. You're healing, my friend.

    Stay commited. Stay accountable.
    And eventually stay strong.
     
  5. Sammy1914

    Sammy1914 Fapstronaut

    32
    67
    18
    I feel your pain... This really is a big fight... Do not give up bro.
    Lets keep fight, and one day i knpw for sure we'll be glad we didnt give up
     
  6. Sammy1914

    Sammy1914 Fapstronaut

    32
    67
    18
    Lets do this bro...
    Am on the challange with you!!
     
  7. jt850

    jt850 Fapstronaut

    64
    67
    18
    Don't ever give up, BigTruck! You got this! I've had a binge weekend and I've felt like giving up all today. But I'm still pushing through! Let's both get back up and try again! Much love and message me if you need me!
     
  8. CR43

    CR43 New Fapstronaut

    4
    5
    3
    Have you tried fasting? Going a full day, once per week of not eating and using that time to meditate on or praying about beating this every time you get hungry?
     
  9. DarioNaharis

    DarioNaharis New Fapstronaut

    4
    2
    3
    When you get urges to fap just think how bad you will feel after.
    "Talk" to your penis,when you feel the "tickle" tell him to fuck off because he won't get any "beating".
    Tell yourself,"i can do this,i have enough willpower to control myself".
     
  10. jeffmbaptist

    jeffmbaptist Fapstronaut

    70
    283
    53
    You aren't alone bro. We are all struggling with our own minds.

    The problem isn't that you are weak. The problem is learning how to fight this battle. It isn't physical. It's mental. You (from the sound of your avatar name) are a big, strong man physically. It takes time to become mentally strong.

    Be patient with yourself. It's ok to fail. Just fail forward. Learn about yourself and how your mind works. You will grow. You will be stronger tomorrow.

    Never give up.

    We are here for you and cheering you on.

    Jeff
     
  11. We've all fucked up. You are not alone. Take it a day a time.
    Hang in there, bro.
     

Share This Page