Appreciating things more

I'm currently on a 70 day streak of no PMO, but have been clean since April minus some bumps in the road.

Anyway, I have been living in a foreign country for the past year, and have not see my family, but went home for xmas. Before I left the states, I was a full fledged addict. For instance, I would not spend time with my family because I was in my isolating myself in my room. Or even if I wasn't jacking off, I would be thinking about and would be anxious, or after I jacked off, my mind would be super cloudy and I would be anxious and feel guilty from my previous deeds. So instead of wanting to spend time with family, I wanted to spend as much time as I could jacking off, or my mind would be thinking about it 24/7.

Changes now, I spend more time, as much as actually as I can with family. If I need something out of my room, I get it, then leave. I don't want to fall back into that trap. I appreciate the time with family as much as possible now. I also am able to think clearer around them, and I dont feel so awkward. Its like they know, and I know that I was looking at some japanese anime porn, and it sticks out in seen or unseen ways.

I guess to sum things up, I feel more level headed, and I'm apart of the family now. Im not isolating myself in my room jacking off for hours and feeling anxious because I want to jack off. Anyway, the struggle is hard, but the results are really worth it. Happy new year and keep up the good work.