Approaching women - my insights and videos

Yet another thread. Different from my journal. I'm not interested in reviewing my approaches anymore.

I want to share my ideas and videos that I will post of me approaching women on the street.
I won't fall into over analysis. I'm not interested in that. This thread is just a way to express what's on my mind.

 

Hey, I have read some of your posts, also some of the approach thread with you and StoicContemplation.

my question to you, what do you think about money and how it relates to dating women?

what I mean specifically is a man’s career or way that he makes money. Do you think a guy should put a lot of emphasis on trying to work enough hours each day to make money?

Or is a guy better off not putting so much emphasis on money and instead enjoying being social with people, making friends, having roommates, and stuff like this?

I know in my twenties and while I was going to school, I was able to approach a lot of women. I also wasn’t working full time back then.

Now, at my current age, work seems to take up a lot of time and energy.

Do you have any advice or insight on how money and work fits into the equation of dating/approaching women?

 

hey man,

from my experience. Money is good for your mental stability. But has no influence in your relationships.

I've been dating pretty women for the last 3 years and in those times I wasn't working. I know guys who make 10k a month but have no friends or girlfriends. And haven't for years.

Socializing is something you work at. But money doesn't enter into it. What women like in men are honesty, self-confidence, independence, vulnerability. Also a low ego.

Money has nothing and will never have anything to do with it.
So yes, there are myths that try to put in our heads that money attracts women. But you realize it's wrong when you talk to a lot of women. I've approached thousands of women in 3 years. So yes I can say today that attitude is much more important than money.
But a good attitude takes years to build. And is based on multiple self-questioning. To finally be a better person. The path is more difficult than having a lot of money. That's why guys prefer to avoid rejection all their lives, because they are repressing that moment when they have to be honest with themselves and say: I'm a shit in relationships. I think I know everything, but in reality, everything I know is just a belief that I've gotten out of my head. I've never gone exploring on my own.

 

- Approaching women in the street doesn't work if you don't create value in your life. Because you'll be begging instead of giving. Go to the gym, develop your social networks, work on your passions.
- If your primary goal is to pick up women, trust me you'll give up quickly. You have to have a goal that goes beyond the surface of things.
- Stop trying to intellectualize everything. You're hurting yourself. You become a machine with strategies.Instead of a human being, imperfect but fully accepting. With its strengths and weaknesses.
- The goal is not to understand how to succeed but to deal with the negative.
- Women are tough, especially on the street. it's much more pleasant to expect nothing, and live your life to the fullest.
- There is no "how". Unplug your brain and take action.
- Forget everything you know
- Be careful with your ego. Having too much ego prevents you from having relationships.
- The better you feel about yourself the less ego you have
- Fully accepting that you are imperfect allows you to take more action, and gain a form of freedom and humanity.
- The more you get rejected, the more you don't care about getting rejected
- Coaches are good at making you think you have a problem, that you are missing something. You already have everything. Stop watching videos and reading books.
- The less you think the better you feel, the more authentic you are. The opposite is also true.
- Think about women before your own personal desires. Empathy is one of the best possible qualities for creating healthy relationships.
- You don't have to prove anything to anyone.
- You don't control anything. All you can do is being honest. That's how you'll have no regrets.
- You don't know anything. Stop trying to be right and live your life.
- Let go of this need to be perfect.
- The more you take care of yourself, the healthier your relationships will be.
- Learn to live alone and you can live with others.
- Have fun, smile

 

Really cool week end for me in terms of result

i approached a girl on the street last wednesday and after 30 minuts she told me to come to her place to spend the week end with her. So saturday and today.

We spent a good time together. We kissed the first night and we had sex together, it was great.

the power of the street after 4 years of practice

 

Dating is 2 polarities:

- I don't need you
- I want you

If you can communicate these 2 polarities at the same time, you are above all guys.
How can you do that? Find a way to stop needing women. Find your own answers. Challenge your emotional dependence, take care of yourself, put your well-being before everything else.
Why do all this? Because what is a compliment worth if you are unconsciously communicating your need to be loved, to be approved, to not be rejected? That compliment is worthless. It's a lie.

And at the same time, learn to show genuine interest in women, with tact and kindness.

In the long run, that's how you have fulfilling relationships. And you gain freedom. It's priceless

 

Thank you very much man! it makes me happy to read this kind of post

I was addicted like most guys I think. So I tried nofap. But after 6 months I realized that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself not to relapse.
And that it was making me an extreme perfectionist, and unhappy.

So I went back to porn for a while. But trying to keep a balance.

Since then, I've been doing much better. I watch porn several times a week, but I don't go to extremes. And I don't feel the guilt I used to feel when I forced myself not to jerk off. It was that guilt that hurt me in the end.
But it's the same for all areas. Sports, approaching women, all of that can become an addiction that makes you unhappy if practiced too much.

I think it's all about balance. That everyone is different and has to find what is right for them.

It must not be easy for you. I've never been to the United States so I don't understand why so many people say there aren't enough pretty women.
But apart from going somewhere else unfortunately there is no alternative.

And yes I live in a city over 300k people but I'd like to move to another city to start over. I think I'll be able to do that in 1 year

I could write a book on this but I'll try to keep it short.
There are a lot of factors that go into it. I think you can't be free to approach women if you don't practice at least a little bit. But approaching women and just doing that doesn't work either.

As you say it's also important to gain self-awareness, to get to know yourself. To look at your insecurities. Like your fear of rejection, of abandonment, your ego. Your fear of being alone. And little by little making a big cleaning. That's the most important thing, who you become in the process, not having women.

In the long run it's about learning to accept yourself, to love yourself. And the more you do, the more fulfilling your relationships are.
How do you do it? Personally, it's eating healthy, going to the gym, meditating, approaching women but reducing my performance anxiety.

I do all this for myself but also for women. It's more enjoyable for them to have a guy who feels good about himself. Who doesn't have unreasonable expectations. Who can live on his own but is also able to express his intentions tactfully.

The best thing you can do is taking care of yourself if you can’t approach women for now. It’s enough to be happy. Approaching women is just sharing that happiness to others

 

The goal is freedom, not excellence. There is no such thing as being perfect. Yet in dating it is what everyone aims for. Because if you get rejected, you're not good enough. That you have to be more than what you already are.

That's what you can find on the internet: advice on how to get women. Advice that will only feed your frustration and make you buy their product. You listen to guys who seem to know everything. Guys who are full of beliefs about how to get women. So no, I'm not necessarily saying that these guys don't have women. But giving advice on how to get women feeds that need to get women even more. Because the more women you have the more women you want. You think that having women will solve your frustration problem but it's the opposite: it will never be enough. And that doesn't solve anything. It's like a slice of pizza, it's fun. Not fulfillment. Relationships only bring you fulfillment if you have something to give. That is, you feel complete, without needing to have anything.

All this to say that coaches are selling... pleasure. Without anything behind it. It's an illusion. 99% of coaches are themselves stuck in their pride, their ego. They can approach women but are deeply unhappy. I know this because I have a friend who is a dating coach, one of the most famous in France. I approach women with him.

Yesterday while we were walking down the street and meeting women he asked me: "What level do you think you have?
It's all about performance when you focus on women. That's the case with him. I wanted to answer him: "I don't care man, I'm fine with myself. I meet women, but the notion of level, I don't care. Simply because it doesn't exist".

You are human. Which means you have strengths, weaknesses, insecurities, fears. It doesn't work simply because you don't allow yourself to be someone who can be loved fully, without hiding anything.
You can be imperfect and approach women. It's okay to be lame. No one is going to judge you, no, you're not going to lose your identity. You will realize that the key is not in being more, but in more human and liberating values like vulnerability, honesty.

I can fail. I don't care about being perfect. Tell yourself that when approaching a woman. You'll see that it will free you. If she rejects you, it's not your fault. If you think it is, you are too much of a perfectionist. So the key is not in being more, but to free yourself from that guilt by being less, and being okay with it.

Freedom, instead of excellence. Make the right choices. And don't expect women to fill your insecurities, like that emotional void you feel inside. Fill it yourself, and then go talk to women.

 

Dating lots of girls allows you to know yourself, to explore your sexuality. Moreover, you can't know what kind of girls you like and what kind of girls don't suit you until you explore.

Guys who hang on to the first girl and don't go out with other girls are mostly very insecure. They have a lot of emotional dependency, don't know how to live alone and be okay with it.
They don't date the girl because they like her, but because of a lack of affection and a need to be loved by a woman. Even if they have to question their personality in return.

This is disrespectful not only to oneself but especially to women. They want a guy who is attached but in a healthy way. Because yes you do get attached at some point if you see a girl a lot. That’s beautiful dude, that’s what makes you human. But this attachment can quickly become a form of addiction.
You want to date a woman because you like her, not to fill an inner void.

And from my experience, having approached thousands of women and dated over 50 women in the last 4 years, I can't think of any other way to work on your emotional dependency than to explore your sexuality to get to know yourself better.

Attachment and love are two different things. Attachment is unhealthy. Love is unconditional.
Dating several women at the same time is not a bad thing if you see it as a way to evolve as a man, and become less dependent.

The woman you end up with will thank you for doing this work on yourself.
So no, don't end up with the first woman you meet. You have the right to sleep with her and tell her that you don't want to be in a relationship. It's totally normal, and a form of self-love.

My freedom, my independence is more important than the affection you can give me, that's what you're communicating by doing that.
It's very healthy, and puts you in a position of choice. The person who has choice has learned about himself. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't want. He doesn't hesitate to say no to some women. He knows which women he can get serious with and which he can't.

That's why it will work with women and why you will have a fulfilling relationship or relationships. Precisely because you've explored.

Personally, a woman who tells me that she is in love with me after having slept with me the first time scares me. That's attachment, not love. I figure she's a woman who must have trauma, and instability. She doesn't really love me, she just needs affection. That's being selfish.

And that's precisely why relationships don't work today. That guys are desperate and women have too much ego. Because of emotional dependency. And because people refuse to become better people. Because it means taking responsibility. It means failing, it means being rejected, learning. It's way too much effort for anyone

 

Abundance Mindset

It comes with experience I would say. Put yourself in the shoes of a guy who sees 3 different girls a week. Even if you're not. That guy is willing to lose those girls.

I used to be that guy that every time he takes a number he's anxious about losing the girl. Like that girl owes me something. It's irrational.

Saturday night I was with my coach buddy and another friend who also approaches women. We were at a nightclub.
My coach friend tried to kiss a girl on the dance floor, after talking and dancing with her. She rejected him. This girl left and 10 minutes later I see her flirting and dancing with another guy. Again this time nothing happened.

Why would you say that? Because my coach friend and this guy are sweating the need for women. They didn't invest in themselves. My coach friend was just interested in the question: how to get women and not: how to become a better human, with oneself and others.

Which in the long run makes you unhappy, and doesn't work with women who are confident in themselves.

This same girl approached me at the end of the evening and asked me if I was single. I smiled and told her with a smile:
"I've seen you dance with a lot of different guys tonight, I'm not blind".

She asked me if I was a spy and I told her I was FBI. I took her home that night.
Don't give women your dignity. Work out, eat healthy, learn to live alone. And then go talk to women. With kindness, without irrational need.