Are addictions a black and white thing or are there degrees?

I can see where you're coming from, and in fact see myself in much the same boat. I don't think I was as far into the addiction as I could have gotten, but at the same time I was getting there. So in a sense, I'm not fully addicted yet but I'm on my way to being, so this is a sort of early intervention? I hope that makes sense, though I have to say, some of the stuff I've done is pretty close to rock bottom

 

Here is a slide and video from yourbrainonporn.com that suggests some criteria for addiction:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/series-3

I personally don't think everyone who PMOs is addicted. But be brutally honest with yourself and as you mentioned, be careful of the potential for the progressive nature of the disease. I had "controlled" use for many years. Even Internet porn for me for a long time (12 years) was maybe every couple months only at first. But it progressed and an undiscovered by me latent sex chat addiction suddenly had the side effect of unleashing a porn addiction to the point of multiple times of day PMO.

Early intervention is a great idea! One of my biggest regrets is not stopping this before it got out of control. There is no happiness at the end of the PMO road, so hats off to you if you step off before it becomes unmanageable.

 

I strongly believe there are not degrees, it is black and white. If someone cannot give up something, it is an addiction. A person who does not have an addiction cannot understand what it is like, they can give up something and not have any qualms, urges, feelings of discomfort. To say that it is less of an addiction for some people is a way for one to rationalize that it will be easier for her to quit, or that she is in a less severe situation, or there will be less consequences, basically it's a defense mechanism so that one feels better about herself/himself. Also it's a way to justify doing the behavior. If something is not an addiction, or less of an addiction, then it should be okay to engage in it. Again, a defense mechanism. I think a lot of people do not know they have addictions, they think they can give up an activity whenever they want, but when they actually try, they have serious problems. And one cannot look at the consequences of an addiction and say that it is related to the degree of addiction because the consequences are dependent on a whole host of other factors.

 

I checked your link out and I saw this:
"If you say “yes” to two or fewer, you can stop reading and click to your favorite porn site."
That's kinda fucked up, that Yourbrainonporn itself tells you to watch porn, but if only you're not already addicted. Why wouldn't porn be bad for people who are not addicted yet? I'm a little bit shocked.



I do believe, that there are two layers. The first layer is black and white: addict or non-addict. Then there's the other layer, which is kind of a gradient between the two extremities of the addiction.

Like, I never watched any really hardcore stuff and I never wanted to see violence in porn, but I know some guys who watch some really fucked up shit, like where people get killed for real in front of the camera and they masturbate to it. I also always waited for my tolerance to go down a little bit for a day or two, so I could enjoy it with less roughness.

I don't think I'm better, but I think my addiction is not as bad as some people have.


My bonus philosophical thought: Doesn't saying, that "I'm not better than you" already assume pre-established superiority?

 

Totally valid point about the comment the site makes about two or less and might as well go off to porn. Good catch and I realize that's not an appropriate recommendation. So apologies that it includes that reference, which I think is more a flippant comment than a real recommendation. Frankly some of the criteria is overlapping so I think if someone had 1 or 2, they prob have more. Anyway, sorry. That part of it I'm not suggesting or endorsing.

 

I think you are misinterpreting the 12-step point about admitting you have no control. It's not saying that you are powerless to give up an addiction. It's admitting that the activity cannot be done in moderation. An alcoholic cannot pick up 1 drink and stop at that, it is going to turn into more.

 

Sorry. I was just thinking about this really much. I didn't talk about you specifically, but I've seen the same "I'm not better than you"-sentence around here before and I've had this thought in my mind for pretty long, so I decided to put it as a bonus.

I mean, if you say "I'm vegetarian, but I'm not better than you" doesn't that sublty convey, that being vegetarian is for some reason better, than being, say, a carnivore?

Sorry for taking this into off-topic with my insignificant thought. I seem to be quite a master in it.

 

I'm sure it begins with degrees; the amount of release your brain becomes trained to associate with P. But P is highly addictive, esp when affordable, accessible and anonymous... I kinda doubt that there are too many people who can casually access porn, have a good ol MO and then not access it again for weeks or months, like a casual smoker or drinker lol. Maybe because those other addictive things can be confined to the odd social occasion, whereas porn is virtually always an anti-social activity. And once youre alone with a powerfully addictive substance, it becomes much more black and white.

The difference is probably that some people have more time and less responsibilities/distractions/hobbies than others, so they become chronic. But addiction is a cycle too; you PMO to escape, but you want to escape because you start to hate what a pervy PMO creep you've become...