Are all fetishes "abnormal?"

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Recovery908, Nov 26, 2017.

  1. Recovery908

    Recovery908 Fapstronaut

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    I'm just curious, that's all.

    What do y'all think?
     
  2. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Well, if you go by the strict definition of a fetish: sexual attraction to an object, then we might consider ALL fetishes abnormal.

    I think many consider a variety of "kinks" to be fetishes. I believe that term is paraphilia.
     
  3. Recovery908

    Recovery908 Fapstronaut

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    So kinks are normal, fetishes are not?

    I’m just curious

    I don’t mean to trigger anyone
     
  4. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    It's certainly not for me to declare anything normal or abnormal. In fact, I detest the words when describing ourselves.

    I only want to point out the accepted definitions. The word fetish has the word "abnormal" in its definition. So it's sort of like asking "Is abnormal really abnormal"? Same with a kink. It's a "kink" because it's abnormal.

    Mind you, I am NOT saying right or wrong, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, common or uncommon. Just that the words themselves refer to abnormal sexual behavior.
     
    Recovery908 likes this.
  5. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Interesting question you ask Recovery908. I suppose another way to look at it would be if your mother, father, grandmother or grandfather would find the behavior "odd". I'd admit to my mother that I have had intercourse with my wife. I'd be ashamed to admit to her that I edged for 6 hours looking at interracial porn.

    Porn is very common.....but is it normal?
     
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  6. Sardonic

    Sardonic Fapstronaut

    I'd say its important to identify if you have a fetish/kink and, I guess, try to accept it as part of who you are or try to get over it. I might be a Rutiluphile (fan of Gingers/Redheads), and be absolutely fine with it, but some might consider it "abnormal" Each to their own, eh?
     
  7. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    @Sardonic: But it's precisely the "to each his own" attitude that creates the porn addiction in the first place. If anything is "OK to watch...as long as you like it", soon you will fall down into the rabbit hole of ever increasing perversion to get yourself off.

    You can't define away your brain's response to certain stimuli. Addiction begins with abnormal activity. Just because someone is "fine with it" doesn't make you immune.

    I like freedom of choice probably MORE than most. But I feel that "accepting and getting over it" isn't really what we here want to accomplish.

    If my porn addiction could go away simply because I declared "it's who I am"......I wouldn't be typing here right now.......deeply addicted.
     
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  8. Sardonic

    Sardonic Fapstronaut

    Good point well made, maybe my wording was slightly off there.
     
  9. pathetic guy

    pathetic guy Fapstronaut

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    My fetish/kink addiction has blossomed over the many year's of my addiction.

    What I would have been applauded by 20 years ago, is now my go to shit. My brain is very sick and needs a reboot. The problem is, I've gotten myself in so deeply with porn, I just don't have a plan.

    Find your way out young fellow and live your life like it should be lived. Don't waste your life with porn.

    The stuff the MSM says is the new normal in life is nonsense. All those LLGGBTDEIIIVG sort is bullshit.

    Good luck young guy.
     
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  10. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you Sardonic. And I certainly didn't wish to come down hard either. I agree that we DO need to be accepting of ourselves, but there is perhaps a fine line between accepting who we really are and should be vs who we became because of addiction.

    I have been guilty of this......so I try to be on the lookout so I don't fall down the same path again.
     
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  11. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Great idea to rewind the life tape to twenty years ago and compare it with today. I just made a mental note of the porn then....and the porn now. OMG....what a nasty downward spiral.

    Thanks for the "technique". You helped me today. And I need ANY help I can get!
     
  12. pathetic guy

    pathetic guy Fapstronaut

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    I hope the OP young guy gets what he's up against.

    My porn addiction goes way beyond 20 years ago. It has tormented my life for 40 years.
     
  13. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Same here. You really highlighted the depth of my addiction and sickness by causing me to contrast "then" with "now". The ramping up of the porn types is gradual. If someone gave me a clue earlier......but, alas, they didn't. So now I must do this the hard way.
     
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  14. Sardonic

    Sardonic Fapstronaut

    I see where you were coming from actually, but the subject is a tricky one for me.

    I actually discussed my own fetish today with a co-worker and caught myself doing it, remembering the goal here. My approach really does need to change and threads like this will probably help that, at least I hope so.
     
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  15. pathetic guy

    pathetic guy Fapstronaut

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    You and I are similar age. Beeing new to this forum, I'll follow you.
     
    Davidphd1866 likes this.
  16. pathetic guy

    pathetic guy Fapstronaut

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    I don't want to divert the OP's thread. Now, back on topic.
     

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