Are bad family causing bad habits?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Scapegoat, Sep 12, 2020.

  1. Scapegoat

    Scapegoat Fapstronaut

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    I'm constantly getting disturbed by the bad behavior of my mother and sister.
    My mom and sis constantly keep trying to look at my privates every time I'm around them.
    I try not to get in front of them as much as possible. If I'm around them I'm always hiding. My sister started this behavior when I was 13 since then I've been hiding from my own family in my own home. My mother is extremely manipulative and I grew up with low confidence and very low self esteem. She's threatened by my success and she cannot tolerate anything from me that she doesn't want to hear. She never gives me any advice when I have any problems since I was a kid and I grew up dumb and a people pleaser. She has backstabbed me and thrown me under the bus in front of relatives. She's very passive aggressive and secretive who acts nice but is anything but. I'm getting aware of all this as I'm growing older. I feel like there's a lot more I'm not realizing.
    This behavior is making it difficult for me to quit my addictions as everytime this happens I get disturbed and wonder how a mother and sister can act this way to their own son and brother and then I go fuck the world and fuck everything and I go back to my porn addiction and feel bad later.
    How do I make this stop? I just wish to live a normal life.
     
  2. Franky Baby

    Franky Baby Fapstronaut

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    What do you mean your mom and sister try to look at your privates? Have your mom or sister touched you inappropriately before?
     
  3. InappropriateUsername

    InappropriateUsername Fapstronaut

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    Bro.
    1. That is not fucking normal mom/sister behavior. Dafuq???
    2. Absolutely it is contributing to bad habits—it’s invasive, uncomfortable and creepy.

    They do it because it makes you uncomfortable. Sister probably imitating mom. Sounds like dad’s not there and your stuck with two passive aggressive females trying to demean and belittle you.

    Assert yourself. They do it again look at them serious asfuck and tell them “Stop that shit. You’re not looking at my genitals like some kind of sex offender. It’s disgusting and makes you look like a sick twisted slut.”
    As long as you let them do this they will continue. Th

    after that move out. Crash with a friend or a trusted relative. Get your own place.

    and when your mom acts passive aggressive or throws you under the bus, call her out on it. I have a profound respect for women but when they act fucking crazy I call them out on it. And this shot sounds crazy
     
    CArT_Vader likes this.
  4. Scapegoat

    Scapegoat Fapstronaut

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    No, there is no way I'm going to let them touch me.
     
  5. Scapegoat

    Scapegoat Fapstronaut

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    I'm saving money to move out as soon as pandemic's over. I have called my mom and sis out on their behaviour many times but they just keep repeating the same behaviour. My dad would rather be drunk in the basement so I'm left on my own. There is no option for me but to move out.
     
  6. Franky Baby

    Franky Baby Fapstronaut

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    Listen man, I think you should know this. I've been around many manipulative people in my life and the thing I learned is that people don't change. How can this help you? Because now you can accept your mother and sister for who they are. People who try to change people are miserable because it never happens so they struggle trying to change someone and it never goes anywhere. To me you have two choices: 1. Accept that your mother and sister will never change or 2. Leave the situation and get away from them.

    People don't hurt you unless you allow them to. Your mind is yours, and nobody can disturb you unless you allow them to. When you get angry or mad or sad when your family does these things to you, they win. They win because they had an effect on you, don't allow them to get under your skin. THIS IS WHAT THEY WANT. Don't give in. Your mind is yours, you are responsible for your happiness because happiness comes from within, no matter what happens on the outside.

    Practice mindfulness, practice observing your thoughts, emotions and sensations in your body. Don't let them run you, they are not you. You are the one who watches them.
     
    Scapegoat likes this.
  7. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Your profile says your 23. Why are you still living with your family? Move out
     
  8. Robsoon

    Robsoon Fapstronaut

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    Hey bro sorry to hear that! Family
    Hey bro sorry to hear that! Fam stuff are messed up sometimes! My fam vibe was pretty sucks too. I do recommend a book:
    Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction
    Book by Eddie Capparucci.

    Stay strong my man! Don't let them bring you down!
     
  9. Scapegoat

    Scapegoat Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man. I'll be sure to read the book.
     
  10. Scapegoat

    Scapegoat Fapstronaut

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    Been saving up money for a while. As soon as the pandemic's over I'm moving out.
     
  11. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

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    Hey Scapegoat, that is truly a rough story, and I'm sorry to hear. Let me highlight one thing, you have huge potential! You are able to, despite your families shortcomings, see that their behaviors are not healthy, furthermore, that it is destructive. I assume that many young individuals just accept whatever behavior is shown to them as they grow up, you didn't. You are meant for great things, brother. It is time to grow (evolve if you will) without the negativity holding you back.

    Like Franky said, you cannot change those who don't want to. And you can certainly help those who do.

    I wish you well brother, use that awareness you have to bring light to yourself, and perhaps others.
     
    Scapegoat likes this.
  12. InappropriateUsername

    InappropriateUsername Fapstronaut

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    That’s a tough situation.

    definitely try to minimize your time at home. Keep your distance.
     
  13. InappropriateUsername

    InappropriateUsername Fapstronaut

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    That’s a tough situation.

    definitely try to minimize your time at home. Keep your distance.
     
  14. SeaChange

    SeaChange Fapstronaut

    Do you mean to tell us that your sister and mother and repeatedly forced you to show them your genitals since you were 14? That's abuse and I would highly recommend you get out of that house and find a therapist as soon as possible, specifically somebody trained in childhood sexual abuse. I'm really sorry you were born into such a nightmare, please be safe and please get out of there.
     
    Scapegoat likes this.

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