Are fetishes bad? Just a question!

I lean strongly towards: yes they are bad.

The nature of the addiction and effects on porn is not just a reliance of fetishes, but the desensitization towards normal stimuli that requires greater escalations for arousal. Over time, that would lead to unhealthy if not possibly criminal behavior.

 

If you and a partner can explore a fetish within the bounds of a relationship then I would say that's fine. The term fetish can cover a very wide range of things from the mild to the ridiculous, but if that fetish needs to be fed by exposure to P then I'd say no.

 

Well the thing is fetishes happened before porn. For instance maybe a guy who had never seen porn had a fetish for ass, always being turned on at the thought of anal sex with a female. That's a fetish that has happened without porn. I had that fetish before I had ever seen porn.

But a lot of fetishes are created because of porn. Some fetishes aren't actually matching your sexual orientation, meaning when you began watching it you didn't like it. But it was so weird or hardcore that it began turning you on. Then what can happen is this weird or hardcore fetish begins to turn you on far more than anything else. The problem is a lot of those weird fetishes aren't even anything like real sex.

 

Fetishes make you who you are, so like most things if they can be controlled and nurtured with a significant other /partner than they are not a problem in my eyes. But as most of us will find on here and as others have said above, fetishes can be controlled/contorted by the underlying P addiction. If the fetish itself is an unhealthy addiction regardless of P, then that's also probably bad

 

In my experience, thoughts like this only helped to keep me in my addiction. I thought, too, what if I meet a girl who really likes porn, or who really likes masturbation? In order to recover, I had to let that go and I have had to let my fetishes go, too. I suppose that deep down in my brain, my fetishes may always be there, and therefore I can always pick them back up if I meet a woman with complimentary fetishes, but if I want to get well, I need to stop feeding them.

Hopefully that helps. I had some pretty compelling fetishes, but now that I am letting go, I am finding that I am living free of shame, I am connecting with people better, I have met an amazing woman and, perhaps most telling: I am living in my head less.

 

If it bothers you mentally, puts you into depression, makes you feel bad about it then it's harmful to your mental health. Porn instills a lot of mentally disturbing fetishes into you which makes you question your sexuality. So obviously if your fetishes imply the ones shown in porn then YES they are bad and really fucked up. Porn creates insecurities in your mind and then exploits those insecurities via fetish porn. For example, porn makes you feel inferior about your body and dick so you end up on cuckold fetish. Don't even argue with me on this saying "This is your sexuality, porn just revealed it." Bullshit, no one is born like that! There are people who are on the verge of raping, because they got addicted to rape fetishes. Don't tell me they were born rapists. After all its the GIGO principle. Garbage in, garbage out. Why do you think women like being submissive, or like being into bondage and stuff? Because our society also portray women being a lil less than men, in strength, in income, etc. So women develop a subconscious attitude of being powerless, which inclines them towards bondage. So now via bondage these emotions of being powerless are being exploited and converted into immense dopamine rush. So in the mind it is registered as "It is okay to be powerless, i'm getting rewarded for it" but in reality, IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE POWERLESS! Similar emotions of inadequacy and insecurities with cuckoldry. Most men have fear of not being the best, right? Porn exploits that as well for you. You jerk off to this and end up on a cuckold fetish while in reality it's just that you're weak in the mind. I would say, if all the so called assumed cucks go and become successful in life, like an athlete or a CEO of some company, 99.9% of them won't be cucks anymore. I want to say one thing, my take on this is, if you're not born with it, then it is not you. Come on, porn fucks your mind with this fetish stuff so its best to stay away from it. if you have any, its best to reboot from it.

 

The overwhelming majority of fetishes are bad but this depends on what qualifies as a fetish.

Generally if you need something more than normal contact with a woman to feel pleasure and get off, then there's something that's not going right for you.

 

If something leaves any one of the participants feeling degraded, it's not a good thing. Period.

 

I think this is straying into dangerous territory, if something is happening within the normal bounds of a relationship and that both participants are ok with it, then who is anyone else to judge. "Normal contact" suggests there is an acceptable way to have sex and that anything else is perverse and somehow wrong.

That's a better standard in my opinion, everything is fine if both people are on the same page.

 

Yes, it is for the most part, but it depends on the fetish. Just because two people agreed upon it does not make it normal or healthy. If the fetish is ageplay and the wife wants to play a 12 yo and the husband wants that too, it does not make the fetish normal or healthy. They both have a disorder.

 

Generally what we mean by wrong fetishes are the ones which a person gains while doing PMO (while watching Porn or fantasizing), which are the most common to cause fetishes. If a person was born with some fetish, he may work on controlling it as any other sexual part.

Fetishes are bad because they are most probably are opposite to the random human's desire, they are abnormal, a person who has a fetish will find it difficult to share it with a random partner and in most cases their partners will find it Odd to accept such fetishes.

Also a person who has a fetish will find it normal and fine, but trust me once this person do Nofap for a long time, he will naturally forget these fetishes and stop doing them, HE WILL BE SHOCKED THAT HE USED TO DO SUCH THINGS.

Gained fetishes are Variable and keep progressing to what is worse. They will be uncontrollable in many times and they won't build a successful relationship.

 

They aren't bad as long you are not hurting another living being with it.

 

Absolutely not!! It's totally ok to explore yourself and try new things. We human beings are limitless creatures. Get weird my dudes.

 

Whether they're immoral or not is not the point; I don't believe in a higher power, per se (if morality was even what you were implying [which you may not have anyway]). The issue is engaging in behavior that leads to unhealthy or destructive outcomes. You can be as weird as you want, but if you're conditioning your brain to only get aroused under increasingly more bizarre scenarios, then having normal sexual or romantic relationships becomes increasingly difficult. Like all addictions, there is an escalation of what's needed to stimulate us, which leads to a downward spiral of quality of life. In addition to that, the behaviors and fantasies could go towards criminal behavior. So, yes, that's a problem.

But hey, if you're able to enjoy yourself in a way which both you and your partner are safe and consensual, and doesn't cause and adverse need to "go more extreme" then sure; have fun I guess.

I actually found that the most fulfilling and gratifying sex was the most vanilla and where there was an emotional connection. My partner wasn't some sex object was someone I cared about, and those experiences have always been the best, most fulfilling, and most fun.

 

I agree that on a emotional level the best sex I have had has been vanilla but that's not to say that I haven't had some amazing sexual experiences that didn't connect on an emotional level. Life is like a box of chocolates and all that...