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Are we doomed?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ravefist, Mar 5, 2020.

  1. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    SO, for us guys that fapped and lose our vital energies, are we doomed to have done permanent damage and be less than our potential selves (had we not fapped ever)? Like, I can't help but think that I am never going to be at the level that I could have been in my life had I never masturbated. Screw this addiction to hell.
     
    Arez01 and Mr. Catwalk Runway like this.
  2. Plusjamais

    Plusjamais Fapstronaut

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    I have a phrase

    Nothing is impossible nor absolute. It may be, technically, scientifically, but the belief that it is not impossible is stronger than anything

    I don't think we are doomed. 1-2 years off of PMO is a lot of exercice but you'll be free. And I believe as this addiction doesn't come from a material abuse, the damage isn't permanent.
     
  3. Mr. Catwalk Runway

    Mr. Catwalk Runway Fapstronaut

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    The damage can multiply and "deepen" heck even lengthen though.

    Nothing in this world is permanent. Not even the rivers and mountains.

    But I know what you mean
     
    Freeddom_Taker and kropo82 like this.
  4. Mr. Catwalk Runway

    Mr. Catwalk Runway Fapstronaut

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    I know I am doomed if I don't keep this progress going.

    Nice thought.

    I guess choosing optimism is best.
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  5. Ezg1990

    Ezg1990 Fapstronaut

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    Guys I really need your help cause I'm going through some fucked up confusion due to a nail fetish I've always had

    So whenever I see a makeup artist guy or girl and has nails on I'll always get aroused when noticing the nails. But then when I try thinking of having sexual intercouse with these people I cannot get aroused and may only get minor swelling of the penis. This has lead me to be really confused as I'm not sure if it's an indication that I like guys or not


    Also whenever I see something that's gay or see gay makeup artists I'll get very minimal reactions, however once I switch the thoughts to women or nails I'll instantly get aroused and can ejaculate with seconds..

    However when just trying to masturbate to women without viewing this content it takes ages to ejaculate please elaborate for me. As I'm not sure wether I'm gay or straight

    Thanks
     
  6. zeusmx

    zeusmx Fapstronaut

    That thought for me is a loop. I feel I'm not good enough, strong enough, worth enough. And the way to show me some care, some cheering has been through the sensations of PM.

    But the doomness that comes from it reinforces the idea of being inferior, worthless.

    For sure we'd be different without this addiction. But we're not worthless. We're showing ourselves that we are strong, valious men, with a history that would have a good meaning through our actions from the present. From this very big effort that we're sharing through quitting PM.

     
    Coffee Candy and kropo82 like this.
  7. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    I'm 54. There are 1,000,001 things that I could have done differently in my life that would have made me a better man now. @Ravefist, is it worth my time fretting about them?

    There's a Chinese proverb that reads
     
  8. LeeUK

    LeeUK Fapstronaut

    I just said this in another thread but I think it applies here also.

    You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and become mentally stronger. Easier said than done but if you start right now it can be achieved. I started with following a strict routine, maintaining a good diet, intermittent fasting, exercise and meditation. I've managed to strengthen my prefrontal cortex in quite a short space of time. This improves impulse control which makes it easier to say no to things, including pmo.
     
    zeusmx likes this.
  9. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    Thanks everyone for your insight. God bless. I looked in the mirror today and really don't like what I see. Could have been so different, but my life took this turn.
     
  10. zeusmx

    zeusmx Fapstronaut

    I'm kind on the same page. For me it's like I feel so inferior. But I see me in the mirror and it's different. I see a regular person, like whoever else. It's just my mind telling me all the time I'm worthless. When actually I'm not.

     
  11. zeusmx

    zeusmx Fapstronaut

    @LeeUK , can you share some advice into strengthening the prefrontal cortex?

     
    LeeUK likes this.
  12. henryhill

    henryhill Fapstronaut

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    I used to feel the same as what you’re saying, like no matter what all hope was lost.

    Now however I feel differently.

    First, we can never truly know what our life would have been like, any thought we have about it is fantasy (oddly enough just like our pm behaviour is like is acting out a fantasy; I think this is part of why we seem to build up these ideas of what could have been).

    Second, our efforts to bring good things into our lives may actually make us better than what we would have been had we never known the addiction (not saying it’s good that we are addicted by the way). Because we have decided to work on this and fight against this we add such good behaviours to our lives such as exercise, meditation, building and maintaining healthy relationships not built on lust, supporting others, etc. The list could go on for all the things that a lot of us can and do add to make our lives better so that there is no room for porn or masturbation.

    Third, I believe we have a capacity for improved compassion that can be lacking in the world today. We have a weakness and so when we see others’ weaknesses we don’t judge them so quickly and are willing to help.

    Some of the people I esteem the highest are those that have fought and to some extent have overcome the addiction.

    Our past is already spent so it’s not worth worrying about it (google the sunk cost fallacy and think about how this applies to our situation) but we have today and tomorrow to do what we desire and there is so much we can do good for ourselves and others. Don’t give up hope, we are in this together.
     
    Coffee Candy, Theking123 and zeusmx like this.
  13. henryhill

    henryhill Fapstronaut

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    Totally get it but eventually the more you work on yourself the more you may see yourself as others. Every single person on planet earth has a struggle they are facing. If you have compassion on others then you definitely should have compassion on yourself.

    We are broken sure, however I’ve never met someone who wasn’t so it’s not worth beating ourselves up over it.
     
    Coffee Candy and zeusmx like this.
  14. How severe are You?
    What phase are you in your reboot right now?
    How long you've been doing pmo?
     
  15. greenmtnboy

    greenmtnboy Fapstronaut

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    There are no gains without pains.

    Improvement is relatively straight forward for most people.

    An exercise plan, lot and lots of healthy exercise. No junk food. Cut back on caffeine, etc..

    Limit internet access to safe places. Replace bad habits with good ones. A day at a time and you will see improvement. I am a Christian and believe that Jesus Christ can cure any condition.
     
    clapas, Deleted Account and henryhill like this.
  16. LeeUK

    LeeUK Fapstronaut

    Sure.

    Simply put, any time you get a craving and you refrain from giving into it, you are improving your impulse control. Or in other words strengthen your prefrontal cortex. Saying no to something you know you don't want to do helps also.

    If you can train yourself to be very assertive in everything you do, be strict with what you eat and set a routine for yourself that MUST be completed daily, you will have a stronger prefrontal cortex.

    Everyone doing nofap should be working in this, in my opinion.
     
    zeusmx and henryhill like this.
  17. Ricardo26

    Ricardo26 Fapstronaut

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    Stop Scareing people with your symptoms go to doctor or talk to priest ask God for forgiveness and pray
     
  18. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    Ive been fapping like once a month between 2018 thru Nov 2019
    Since Nov 3rd, 2019, I fapped almost 3-4 times a week, with a few weeks where I fapped 6-7
     
  19. You're not that severe....
    2 months of no pmo and you're good to go.
     

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