Are we same as alcoholics, smokers and other addicts ?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Whiskeyjack, Mar 14, 2015.

  1. Whiskeyjack

    Whiskeyjack Guest

    Hello everyone !
    My roommate celebrated his birthday today. I was at his party. It was pleasant. It was the first time in months that I crawled out of my room. I enjoyed talking to random people.

    A friend of my roommate turned up quite drunk there. Created a fuss. He constantly had to be controlled. It was bad, could have easily been worse.

    Everyone criticized him. I did too.
    Then it struck me. I'm an addict too. I felt the same as him. I felt ugly.

    While coming back everyone kept talking about his addiction, about how they wanted him to fall in trouble to shake him out of his apathy. They talked of how it was destroying his life, how he was a burden to his so called friends and family. I had nothing to add.

    Today morning I was thinking about how badly I wanted a relationship. I now think that I'm not fit for one. I don't deserve it. I wouldn't like a girl who is an alcoholic or a smoker or anything else.

    Are we like them or even worse ? How much have we let our loved ones down ?
     
  2. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Community Manager
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    We are like them. That's the sad sobering truth. We can hide it a lot easier then alcoholics or smokers can, but the addiction is the same.

    I totally agree with you on not being in a relationship until you've broken your addiction. No girl deserves to be in a relationship with a PMO addict. Unfortunately a lot of people on this forum are looking for relationships while they are still addicted, and trying to hide their addiction from their prospective SOs!
     
  3. Philip1990

    Philip1990 Fapstronaut

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    no we are fucking not , wanting sex is in your brain. its your natural urge to reproduce. not some addiction caused by problems or overconsume.
    I know alcoholics and smokers. and comparing us to them is a fucking insult.
     
  4. Thanatos

    Thanatos Fapstronaut

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    I'm am a THEM. In my opinion an addiction is an addiction, it's all there to escape bad feelings... that's all there is to it, over eating, hair picking, smoking, heroin.... whatever... they are all similar parts of the brain.
    I've had several addictions, this just happens to be the last one that I realized.

    I am honestly more ashamed of my PMO addiction then any other addiction.
    I have regret around my other addictions, but I was never ashamed of them like I am of PMO.
     
  5. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Community Manager
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    Sorry to contradict you Phil, but the mechanism of addiction is the same. It's actually not the substance we get addicted to, its the dopamine rush. PMO, heorin, cocaine, meth, binge eating, alcoholism, smoking, internet addiction; these all release dopamine in our brains and we get so used to that artificial feeling of pleasure that we just can't live without it. So we do anything to get our next hit, we PMO five times aday, we make ourselves fat and unhealthy with binge eating, we destroy our livers with alcohol or give ourselves cancer with smoking.
     
  6. I count myself as being with them. We are addicts and while the drug of choice is different the solutions to the problem (addiction) are still the same; prayer, support network, abstinence, sobriety, meditation, etc. I'm not insulted to be counted with other addicts simply because the desire to have sex is a natural one. All of us have a natural inclination to avoid pain and all of us have looked to something and used it to an unnatural degree in order to do so. I mean I'm here and a member of NoFap, so obviously I've missued and abused this natural desire to an unnatural degree and therefore need help.
     
  7. Whiskeyjack

    Whiskeyjack Guest

    Thank you mumchanc, Philip1990, Thanatos & Obi-Wan KeNoFap for your wonderful comments. I appreciate them.

    I guess I knew that already. Just wanted to hear it from someone else.

    I've made up my mind, I will not be in a relationship until I've been PMO free for 6 months. These 6 months will be about my recovery and personal growth.
     
  8. Steel Fury

    Steel Fury Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad you posted this. Today I was on a hike with a group, and met a very nice lady with whom I had a long and interesting conversation. I'll start by saying that this lady is exactly the type of person a lot of men would like to have in their life. She's attractive, intelligent and seems like a very kind person (from what I know at least). One of the conversations we had talked about addictions and how they ruin people's lives, and one of the addictions that came up was the one to PMO. She made it very clear that she has no time at all for PMO addicts. I felt a little embarrassed at the time, but she sure got her message across.

    And that's the thing. The type of women that we all aspire to spend time with are generally not the type of people to put up with PMO addiction. Period.
     
  9. Steel Fury

    Steel Fury Fapstronaut

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    Don't confuse sex and PMO. The two are very different. Sex involves interaction with another person along with things like touching, feeling, showing respect for each other. PMO involves no interaction with a real person (in most cases) and no respect for the person "performing" on your screen. Yes, sex is a natural and healthy desire. PMO is not. I think we have more in common with smokers and alcoholics than we realise.
     
  10. Progressive Death Mettle

    Progressive Death Mettle Fapstronaut

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    Porn is dangerous because it isn't recognized by the majority of people as a real addicting substance. And if someone does abuse it it's still not seen as being dangerous compared to drugs or alcohol. That being said, I look at the latter two as a social drug, while I consider porn to be an anti-social drug.

    Porn turns us into weird, socially-awkward zombies who would rather sit in front of a computer than face and accept the tough challenges of life. Challenges that include: playing the dating game, filling out job application after job application, and really wetting our feet in the world of debt and taxes. Porn is a safe haven where we're never ridiculed. It allows us to escape the cynical reality. Meanwhile we're doing ourselves severe long-term damage by weakening our social skills.
     
  11. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    Good thread. I definately agree we are like alcoholics. It's just the addiction's results are on a samller scale - same with pc games, browsing fb etc. Everything done obsssesively has negative effects in the long-term and eventually makes you weak.
     
  12. mtaha2015

    mtaha2015 Guest

    Yes we are same,
    we have lost control and will.
    we have to regain our chemical balance and chemistry of our brain to defeat this porn and masturbation addiction.
     
  13. jatar

    jatar Fapstronaut

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    I think that the issue should be regarded in two aspects: internal and external.

    When it comes to the internal workings of the addiction, what goes on in our brains etc., we may very well be (I don't know enough about the mechanisms of addictions to make a definitive statement) similar to alcoholics. After a few months' struggle with PMO, I start to consider myself an addict just like I would if I had a problem with alcohol.

    But I think that the similarities are not so obvious when it comes to the external aspect, that is how our addiction affects our environment. I had a few alcoholics in my extended family and they inflicted significant pain on those closest to them. Some of them did disgusting things when drunk, things like violence towards their family, animal cruelty. I have yet to see an account of a PMO addict describing anything remotely similar to the worst things I heard about those alcoholics. Of course, it is possible that PMO was a contributing factor to some of sexual crimes. That would make the two addictions much more similar, but from what I've read so far, I think that PMO addiction is normally much easier on those around the addict.
     
  14. Philip1990

    Philip1990 Fapstronaut

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    People who didnt have contact with alcoholics or other hard drug users should NOT post here because you lack the experience to post here.

    Stop the broscience , this topic is serious.

    regards
    phil
     
  15. Warrior01

    Warrior01 Fapstronaut

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    Hi dude, well i think the good part is you can feel empathic towards yourself. You know he may be doing bad because alcohol but there's some backgroud, same as yours addiction, and you know it's not easy, so that's cool. You may help him better that any of your friends that don't have an addiction.

    On the other side, i get why you feel guilty but there's no need for that. Guiltiness doesn't carry anything good. And it's not that i am only saying it to be cool, is that you are facing your addiction.

    I won't say that is the same kind of addiction, like something absolute. There are many similarities, but there is also many differences. Maybe as an addiction, yeah is very similar (as any addiction) but in terms of effect to a person there are big differences.

    No need to ask who is better or who is worse. But is a good opportunity to see things in a different way.
     
  16. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I have to say mumchance, there is an odd-one-out in your list. Binge eating is not an addiction, but I agree with the others. :)
     
  17. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Community Manager
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    Why do you say that? From what I understand dopamine is released during the process, so the mechanism is the same. Is there something I'm missing?
     
  18. IGY

    IGY Guest

    That is an understandable assumption mumchance. It may seem counterintuitive, but there is no dopamine release. Please note this information regarding Binge Eating Disorder: http://psychcentral.com/disorders/eating_disorders/eating_binge.htm

     
  19. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Community Manager
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    Hmm... well I thought that the body awards eating by releasing dopamine, and that's what lies behind binge eating. Plus some food, especially wheat, have compounds in them (gliadin) which have opiate-like effects. But I'm not at all an expert on binge eating, though I do struggle with overeating. But from what you posted it doesn't look like I have a problem with BED, I'm just your regular old glutton, haha! :eek:
     
  20. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I have had BED for most of my life, but totally recovered from it 2 years ago, yay! :)

    BED is a maladaptive coping strategy and I can assure you that there is no pleasure in it whatsoever. There is no physiological craving to binge eat in the way certain substances are craved when absent. When I had BED, I could go for days/weeks without the idea of doing it even coming to mind. For me, it was always triggered by intense anxiety. I would gather a large amount of food (with large being an understatement) and I would gorge on it. After the first 2-3 mouths full I didn't even taste it. I pushed it in and gulped it down in a panicky frenzy. When I was in physical pain from an over extended stomach I would stop with empty boxes, packets, bags and tins strewn all around me. I would then lie on the bed and wallow around for 2-3 hours groaning until the pain eased. I used to feel more disgusted with myself and more ashamed of myself than I have ever done with PMO. I would get a much bigger dopamine release from one nicely made sandwich than I would from all that crap.
     

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