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Are you aloud to look at porn substitutes as long as your not masturbating?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Bigwanker, Aug 18, 2019.

  1. Bigwanker

    Bigwanker Fapstronaut

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    Are you aloud to look at porn substitutes as long as your not masturbating to them?

    Because I mean social media sites and dating sites are porn substitutes. So if your not allowed to look at porn substitutes even when your not masturbating to them, then I guess that means you can't be on these sites?
     
  2. You will have to decide what helps your recovery from PMO and what hurts it. For myself and many others, P-subs are every bit as bad as P. So, I avoid nearly all social media sites (IG is a complete no-go for me).
     
  3. Bigwanker

    Bigwanker Fapstronaut

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    But do you only avoid them because you end up masturbating to them? Like is it fine to be on them as long as your not masturbating to them?
     
  4. allitnam

    allitnam Fapstronaut

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    I try to avoid all of the things that will increase or induce urges. For me that's the key to decide which things are part of the non allowed ones.
     
  5. MisterDirection

    MisterDirection Fapstronaut

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    I disabled all social media and do not visit dating site.

    Obviously this is easy because I am married LOL.

    I think you need to reflect on your purpose of going g to them BEFORE you do to evaluate your motives. THEN you will need to be hyper vigilant while you interact and be attentive to how your body is responding and your mind thinking.

    Like you said above all are different. I do t think it's wrong for you try and evaluate how and what you are free to do, just understand you have to make the call on when too much is too much and that is a slippery slope that sneaks up on you and jumps in front of you when you are not looking that way.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  6. This battle is in our minds. It all starts with unhelpful thoughts. I do not view this sort of content because it gets in my head and disrupts my peace. Eventually, that will lead me back to PMO, I have no doubt.

    I am not intending to see how close to the fire I can get without getting burned. I am meaning to see how well I can live. I find I do that much better in the absence of all P, P-subs, M, and unhelpful sexual thinking. So, I mindfully work to avoid all of those things.
     
    TheNewDrew42 and need4realchg like this.
  7. Bigwanker

    Bigwanker Fapstronaut

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    The issue I have is social media sites and dating sites purpose isn't for jacking off. Even though obviously a lot of the content on these sites can be extremely arousing. But the purpose of these sites is to keep in touch with friends, and to actually try meet a woman in real life.

    It just seems quite annoying to me if I can never use sites like this to keep in touch with friends and to try meet a woman in real life.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  8. Like I said originally, you will have to decide what is helpful to you and what is not in your recovery journey. I have many ways to stay in touch with my communities, both IRL and online, and I do not need social media to do so for the most part. The social media I do use has minimal images and very, very seldom any inappropriate images.

    There is always a way to stay committed to recovery and still live a full, rich life. But recovery will always cost you something. It's up to you to decide when you are willing to pay that price. Pro tip: The longer you wait, the higher the price gets! Take it from me, as someone who waited 25 years to deal with this seriously and who sacrificed a lucrative career in order to do so! :)
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  9. Bro as long as you can control yourself and don't feel an urge to masturbate, the occasional pinup or whatever is not that big of a deal. In fact it may even help rewire in some cases. Wouldn't advise it though. The real harm is done consciously masturbating. Suppose a guy accidentally came across a pinup in a locker room and needs to make a run for the nearest bathroom to go and compulsively masturbate, that guy will still have a very long way to go down the recovery road.
     
  10. Stug

    Stug Fapstronaut

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    I stay away from any stimulation or arousment, for me it causes relapses. Going to the beach also cause relapses. My sex drive is simply too high and i'm too sensitive to stimulation and dopamine boosting activities. My relapses are never caused by craving or urges to watch porn but constant stimulation which builds up constantly. When you go no PMO tons of woman flirt with you.

    Monk life is better
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  11. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    No, even though you feel like its fine you will be more likely to relapse, which is exactly what youre trying to avoid.
     
  12. Bigwanker

    Bigwanker Fapstronaut

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    Does looking at these images count as a relapse? Or do you need to be masturbating to them for it to count as a relapse?
     
  13. Bigwanker

    Bigwanker Fapstronaut

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    Does looking at these images count as a relapse? Or do you need to be masturbating to them for it to count as a relapse?
     
  14. Stug

    Stug Fapstronaut

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    You need to be masturbating ..but watching pics can lead to masturbation. It depends how naked a woman is and what type of pics. If you want to go no pmo for very long you have to avoid anything sexual. Watching woman who don't arouse you ..it doesn't matter, better if to avoid it altogether.
     
  15. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    You have the wrong mindset. if you peek at an image, it doesn't matter if it is or not a relapse. a lot of people with the streak mindset say feel like as soon as they relapse, they feel like shit and binge which leads them back to sq 1. if you peek at an image, get away from it, figure out what you did wrong, and don't do it again. ultimately the goal is to quit porn and peeking is going to make that goal harder, even though it excites you in the moment. it did minimal damage so don't get down about it. just make changes and make sure it doesn't happen again, and keep trucking
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  16. Bigwanker

    Bigwanker Fapstronaut

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    But what I am saying is if I am on social media or a dating site it is impossible not to see images of women. So am I relapsing simply from looking at images like this?

    Are you basically saying anyone who is on a social media site or dating site is relapsing even if they're not masturbating?
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2019
  17. Hey bud, just trying to restate this maybe it will help ...

    Seeing a pic of a girl by itself is not a relapse. But you have to consider your image +masturbation pattern= orgasm pattern.

    Think of it as homemade terrorism.
    You have half the ingredients in most p-subs To make a homemade dirty bomb.

    It isn’t as strong as nuclear material (porn) but it can lead to destruction.

    Some ppl will avoid it all together—- just don’t try to do that if you haven’t pieced together your reasons for doing so, because failure is impossible to avoid then.

    Make a plan.
    Execute the plan.
    Share your plan with everyone. Including your failures. We got your back.
     
    staticboy likes this.
  18. Stug

    Stug Fapstronaut

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    What does looking at a pic of a woman add to your life anyway? It's a dumb fucking screen what's the point anyway...if you want to meet woman go outside and talk to them. Social media is shit it barely adds something to ones life
     
    Pedro costa likes this.
  19. Bigwanker

    Bigwanker Fapstronaut

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    So if there's an attractive woman on tv just turn the tv off? Man this is getting beyond worrying if this is the extent of what's expected of us.

    Well I guess that's goodbye to movies, tv shows everything. May as well live in a cave.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  20. MisterDirection

    MisterDirection Fapstronaut

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    Dont go over board
    Dont take all comments for the law.

    Take advice see what works for you evaluate your feeli gs and motives and thoughts and make your OWN decisions
     
    NACHT likes this.

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