Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Namekian23, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

    It's hard to be both, but it's either one or the other. I've been an introvert my whole life. I'm shy, withdrawn, likes to keep things simple, not much of a risk taker, and so on. Sometimes I wished I had a personality of an extrovert. It would be nice to be more adventurous, outgoing, social, and so on. But everybody's different. I realized that not all introverts are bad. They're quiet, but more thoughtful people. They tend to stay out of risky behaviors given the fact that they're so reserved. So each side has its benefits.

    So which side are you? And how to you deal with people who are the same as you or vice versa? I don't mind introverts, but typically, I'm just so much more drawn to extroverted people. And when it comes to women, it's the same thing. Recently, I've made up my mind that I prefer extroverted females. It's strange because every time I meet one, we always click. One example is my co-worker, and another is a girl I met 6 months ago. Even though she has a boyfriend, we just seem to have really good chemistry.

    Every time I talk to people who are like me, there is no chemistry or sparks in the air. I become bored very easily, but at the same time, I'm pretty much judging myself because I'm an introvert too. All in all, I just wish I was an introvert with more confidence. But at least I know which people I'm more comfortable with. Extroverts make me laugh; they make me happy, and they bring out the best in me more than introverts do. But hey, that's just me.
  2. Introvert vs extrovert is how you recharge. It is not your personality. Try for a test to tell you more about you.

    I'm an introvert for recharging but can be quite outgoing when the need arises. When the day is over and I'm back home. I prefer a quiet room and reflection to noisy house full of people.
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  3. Judicious 7

    Judicious 7 Fapstronaut

    Naturally introverted. I can speak of course, but I keep my presence very subtle and lowkey when in public. It takes a special group of people to make me open up and feel comfortable outside. I don't mind extroverts though. If you like being open and expressive, good on ya :)
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  4. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    Tsk! Tsk!

    You make introversion sound like a negative; and extroversion, the only real positive. But it's nothing of the sort. Both introversion and extroversion are a form of giftedness, and one is not superior to the other; of course, I'm somewhat biased toward introversion, and I thank God everyday I am one. Introversion is not equivalent with shyness, anymore than it is equated with being antisocial or withdrawn, just as extroversion is not necessarily equivalent with being gregarious and the life of a party. Just as an introvert with other personality quirks may become a wall flower, so an extrovert with personality flaws can become a loud social bore in a group. But well-adjusted ~verts of any sort need not fit in either stereotype.

    Introversion and extroversion are a matter of personal drive and energy. An introvert finds his energy from within and can often have his energy reserves sapped when he is in a group for too long. In such instances, the introvert longs for some quiet and alone time to regroup his personal reserves. Contrastingly, an extrovert finds his energy gets sapped when he is alone for too long: he gets antsy, agitated, bored, unable to think, feels the walls drawing in whenever he is forced to be alone for too long. In such instances, the extrovert needs to go about and mingle with one or more people, wearing his thoughts on his sleeve, often speaking just a little bit too loud in a group, needing others to bump his thoughts off of so that he himself can process his own inner thoughts, often fluttering about as a social vampire, feeding off the energy of others, so he himself may be revitalized. Often one thing to realize with an extrovert who tells you his brilliant idea is not to consider his idea as a conclusion, but as a work in progress. He simply needs to run his thoughts by you to develop them more, whereas an introvert may have the tendency to reserve his thoughts until they are completely developed and polished before he unveils his final masterpiece to the group.

    Of course, there's a spectrum of introversion and extroversion, too. Some can be one extreme or the other, whereas others can have a more equal mix of both traits. In the end there are a lot of stereotypes of introverts and extroverts, but each can cherish the true strength that he holds within while even admiring the opposite gifted personality from whom he can find balance and learn to stretch himself more in the opposite pole when life calls for it.
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2016
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  5. MNinerZERO

    MNinerZERO Fapstronaut

    I don't really believe in the whole Introvert/Extrovert dynamic. I'll tell you why. Some days, I feel chatty as hell and I chat up everyone I meet. Some days, I feel withdrawn and just want to be left alone. I don't believe people can really identify with one or another. I've seen time and time again where "shy" people assert themselves around certain groups they hang out with. They become this confident, awesome individual. I've also seen the opposite. I've seen someone who I thought was an "extrovert" turn REAL quiet around particular personalities. So, I guess it's really situation-dependent. There's no right or wrong. Society just makes it seem that introverts are menace to society. The truth is that Society is scared of people who aren't as loud as extroverts because their intentions are unknown. The most elemental human fear is the fear of the unknown and that's what an introvert is...
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  6. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

    First: Don't equate introversion to shyness. Shyness is a initial fear of social interactions.
    Introversion is where you direct your energy. When among a group of people do you focus on your inner world or do you focus on the outer world? Extraversion is outgoing and very expressive and introversion is more reserved and thoughtful. Introverts concentrate on the subject and extraverts on the object. This doesn't mean that an introvert has a fear of talking to people. They might just prefer to stay in their own head rather than talking to people because introverts are usually interested in deep and thought provoking subjects which is often hard to find. They loathe small talk. This is me at least.
    Extraverts can be very annoying. They often have no feeling for subtleties and are very direct in their social interactions. They don't get when it's too much. That's not all extraverts but some.
    The reason why you feel a chemistry with extraverts is because they take the stress of initial conversations away. They lead the conversation and don't force you to do it. But believe me. In the long run introverts are way more interesting and make great friends. If you are friends with an introverts and you both know each other very well you know how social introverts can be. They are just social in their own way. You just need to reach a deeper level with introverts to see their strengths. In a society that is focus on instant gratification introverts can ofthen be seen as dull and boring but that's definetely not the case.
    So my tip?: Embrace your introversion. Don't try to pass as an extravert. You'll fail epicly believe me. I tried it over and over again and it never worked. You should still go out and talk to people but do it in your own way.
    So yeah, I'm a pretty strong introverts. I'm in my head all day.
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  7. Kennen

    Kennen Fapstronaut

    I am introvert..
    I hate crowded places.

    But, I am always open for adventures.
  8. Andre2807

    Andre2807 Fapstronaut

    There is a big misunderstanding over how introverts and extrovert differ and how one spots an extrovert or introvert.

    As already mentioned previously, introverts "recharges" or "become energised" when they're alone. Extroverts "recharges" when their with people.

    I'm an extrovert.

    For more information, google: Personality Cafe. There you can find various tests, but I find that the MBTI tests are quite good.
  9. I am introvert. I am not shy tho, not even slightly. I am usually very quiet and passive tho. That's my natural state I always return to. I can be very extrovert if I choose to. I can be in center of attention of group or even whole party. I do enjoy that once in a while. In fact I can even feed from that to an extent. But if done too much it's tiring and I have to have my solitude to... well... not recharge, but discharge. If not I start to be grumpy and stressed. I feel that I suck up too much energy from people and it makes me wanna puke, cos I'm too full. But alone I always feel great.

    I prefer extrovert females too. I just think it balances me out. And not females only but extrovert people in general. Because they do all the work and I don't have to. Opposites attract ya know. It's all about balance. All tho sometimes it's also nice to be with other introvert people with who I could spend some time in quietude. I would not get bored with another one like me, they might tho. But usually if I would be paired with another introvert I would take the lead if they don't want to. Like I said above, I can be an extrovert if I have to without any problems.
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  10. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

    As Extrovert myself, I concur.
    My boss is like that, it's like, she smells when you're having a bad day and instead of leaving you alone, to deal with your shit internally, she just pesters on, continously bombarding you with inane questions, like:

    'Is everything alright?'
    'Are you upset?'
    'Did I do something wrong?'
    'Are you upset with me?'

    She comes from a place where everyone is like her, everyone puts their problems on the plate, in front of others and cannot understand privacy / intimacy if you hit her over the head with it.

    Sometimes, I really want to do just that.
    Not advertising violence here though. Just trying to be funny.
  11. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

    Most points have already made by the people above. I myself am an introvert, but nevertheless I have always been adventurous when it comes to, well, doing stuff during which you could hurt yourself physically, and as a teenager I did hurt myself in some cases. If you want to see a famous adventurous introvert take a look at Alex Honnold.
  12. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

    Fortunately Not all extraverts are like this. But some just don't have a feeling for when it's too much/when the other person feels uncomfortable. I have met extraverts who would only talk about their own life and would respect the privacy of others or wouldn't be to pushy about it. These types of extraverts are fine. But if an extravert is extremely direct and asks personal questions very early on it's very, very annoying and disrespectful.

    I'm an INFP btw.

    Here's the test if you guys want to figure out your type:

    Edit: I often have the feeling extraverts have the talent to adapt to their surroundings much better than introverts. They seem to connect very quickly with most people. Introverts on the other hand have problems with this. I can come across as very extraverted but only if I'm in a social setting I feel comfortable with and I'm interested in the subject. My best friend's an introvert too and we can talk for hours.
  13. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

    @Red Eagle

    It's not the time spent talking that matters, it's how you say and when you say it.
    Lots of discussions I have in real life put me in Listener Mode, simply because I happen to know that my interlocutor is a gossip-freak and I don't like to pull stuff out of my closet.

    But extroverts may seem like better adapted to their surroundings to you, but sometimes, in reality, that's all a front, used to hide real emotions.
    Ever talked to a strong-willed girl that had a shy side that came out at the end of the interaction?
    Or better yet:

    Ever annoyed someone intentionally just to see how much crap they really think about you?
    I don't mean like pulling their hair or mentioning their dead grandma, just gently take it beyond the limits of 'normal conversation'.

    It is my belief, that people who generally love you or are you true friends, will never use offensive words against you, even when you make them mad.
    They will let you know you've crossed a line, but still, some minimum of respect will be there.

    Be them introverts or extroverts.
    It doesn't matter, really.

    We all have both in us.
    Red Eagle likes this.
  14. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

    Well, you do have some good points. Sometimes, I have to overlook everything in my posts to get the idea of what you're saying. Other than that, I'm not rejecting the fact that I am an introvert. As I just stated, introverts tend to be more thoughtful and stay away from risky behaviors. For example, my brother is an extrovert who parties all the time, which can lead to dire consequences. Fortunately, he knows what he's doing. As far as being thoughtful, it takes an introvert like me to make a coworker truly happy on her birthday or writing one of the best speeches in my class on the dependence of chronic pain medication. I put a lot of thought into giving her a meaningful gift just the same as my research paper.

    As you can see, these are examples from my life which I believe are great qualities of being an introvert. I guess what I was trying to say between my preferences with females, and people in terms of introversion/extroversion is more towards shyness and being social. Even though I'm shy, I display a different side of me, the outgoing, confident one, when hanging out with friends. However, I wouldn't be this type of person when I'm around my coworkers because they're much older and more mature than me.

    It's sometimes people who are so "shy" that it becomes a problem to me. So, I just want restate that even though one is an introvert, it doesn't mean that everything they do is introverted. I'm not the type of person who commits so much energy trying to make shy people want to talk, and that's why I tend to get frustrated because there's no balance between us. So the problem is not about the topic, it's more of the fact that I tend to respond better towards people who are outgoing rather than people who are shy (I mean shyer than me).
  15. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    But my point is that introversion doesn't necessarily mean one is shy. If you are an introvert and shy, the shyness has quite another source than the introversion, although you probably use your introversion as a convenient escape - but the shyness is not the introversion at work, per se.
    Red Eagle likes this.
  16. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

    Yeah and I agree with you. Now that I think about it, introversion/extroversion are both a set of characteristics that define an individual's personality, but to a certain degree. Much like someone who has a Type A or Type B Personality Style. I don't know if using your own introversion as an escape is true or not, but using shyness itself seems to be more logical. Believe me, girls especially, have used coyness (a deceitful type of shyness) which can be alluring, yet annoying at the same time. But that's just my opinion on this.
  17. BobDobbs

    BobDobbs Fapstronaut

    Yeah, it's not black-and-white. Most intelligent people have attributes of both, but lean more heavily on one side or the other.

    I'm lean introvert, and have mostly been in relationships with other introverts, but the last girl who seriously broke my heart was an extrovert. The danger of an introvert dating an extrovert is that they can appear to be more invested in you than they really are.
  18. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

    Found a video that explains introversion/extraversion very well.
  19. Extrovert who is (now, finally) comfortable in his own skin and can spend extended time by myself and be ok. but I still recharge with other people, sometimes just one other, but that still counts.

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