Aren't women amazing? 10 Months of NoFap. - A motivation

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by vibemaker, Jun 5, 2017.

  1. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Aren't women amazing? 10 Months of NoFap.



    Today is a day where I might say I feel truly rebooted. After 10 Months of Ups and Downs and a few resets. In the last 10 Months I fapped 7 times and I watched 2 times Porn. Sometimes I slipped up watching Psubs for a couple of minutes. My longest streak was about 140 days. Followed by a 58 days streak and a few 30 day streaks. When I reset I regret it every time, I knew it wasn't worth it and I felt weak. But I was strong enough to get back on the horse every time. I knew I couldn't go back to this addiction or I would slowly fade away. It took me very long to get this thoughts of giving in out of my head. Now after 10 Months I feel this thoughts are so much more lighter. They lose their power over me day by day. It's like the sun and all the happiness that came into my life burnt them and now the 'porn fairy-tale' is crawling on the floor and begging for mercy. The new healthy thinking patterns now overweight them. Porn is just a poisoned cookie.



    When I came back to my hometown a few weeks ago some people didn't even recognize me at first, because I have changed that much. My whole body language, my face, my skin, the way I speak it's all so different now. There's this energy inside me and it's shining to the outside.



    My porn induced social anxiety is totally gone. I'm not thinking anymore about what other people may think while I speak to them. I'm just IN the talk. IN the moment. Meditation also played a big role here.



    I finally started to chase girls in real life and it feels amazing. I did my first cold approach a few days ago and I was going insane, but it felt so good afterwards. Maybe this seems like nothing to you, but it's the world for me. All the years I've been so feared of girls laughing at me or rejecting me. She gave me her number - in the end she didn't wanted to go out with me, but it's not a problem. The whole thing about this is that I learned to be not feared of rejection anymore. This fear was killing me from inside. Every rejection is better than regret. That's for sure.



    You remember this feeling when you first experienced your sexuality? Girls had these incredible magic. Porn killed this magic. They are humans just like us and they want to connect, feel each others body and share true feelings.



    The first month is a hell of a ride, especially when you're doing it for the first time. But I tell you it is totally worth it! It's not about the girls that will sense your confidence and glow and will smile to you. It's about you! You will feel happy and connected with the world again. You will feel secure once again. And exited to live your life as an adventure and get in touch with your true self again!



    On this way there are a lot of good ways to reduce urges like the cold showers, the push ups, replacing old habits with new ones, going out and meet people, doing sports. But I think the ultimate way is to have a strong vision. Never lose the trust in yourself, draw a picture in your head of the life you want live. Maybe today is bad day and everything is just shit, but it will be better soon. See this setbacks as a sign or a motivation to go further! See NoFap as a pill that will reduce your anxiety more and more. In reality it's not a pill, it's just you healing yourself of all the shit porn has done to you!



    You will kick this habit! Show the porn industry you can use your intelligence and sense their lies. Look into a bright future! You deserve it!



    Peace.
     
  2. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    Great post @vibemaker! You have made some encouraging comments to me over those 10 months, and I thank you for that. It was really touching to read of such good things happening to such a good person. Well done!
     
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  3. señor

    señor Guest

    proud to see how far you've come man, keep killing it
     
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  4. Hard gainer

    Hard gainer Fapstronaut

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    Excellent post....Very encouraging
    I am also having problem of social anxity and serious addiction to PMO. am so addicted that sometimes I would skip food for reading sex stories. I very badly wanted to quit PMO. I have started to reboot. Relapsed many time. But I am sure I will quit my addiction very soon
     
  5. Pichaelthompson

    Pichaelthompson Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your post...My anxiety has gotten worse after 10 days of nofap, but your 10 month commitment shows me that my vision for my true self is possible, even though it feels light years away.
     
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  6. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

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    Do u know that why i do nofap

    The confidence, no fear of social rejection, woman, real world

    Im a porn, anime and game freak,, live in the dream media world where pixelated woman and texted chat is whnever i see

    , and ever since this NoFap i tried to reduce all except for porn. And i began to see real world are

    This is my 30 day

    And i wana see the world..real world more clearly


    Congrats to you,, somehow i feel your happiness in your post
     
  7. ThomasV

    ThomasV Fapstronaut

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    Wow good job brother! Also what I recommend for you is digging deep inside yourself. You had a few relapses, I had this too in the past, I would always get to day 20, day 50, day 30, day 25, day 27, day 5. And that for 3 years. And that until I digged deep inside of myself. I read a few books about addiction. And most of them came to the same conclusion, you are fapping because you are running away from something or because you feel incomplete.

    Btw a strong vision like you said is very important +1 for that. But I really, really recommend digging deep and find the root of your addiction. You do this by asking questions like "What does fapping to me?", "How does fapping make me feel?", "What am I running away from?" start asking questions!

    Also pickup could also be a way to get validation etc, which does not mean it is wrong, just keep going, it is great for personal growth. I've been through the same process, and many of my friends who were really good (pickup coaches etc) in pickup and cold approach also quit pickup. Because pickup is just like anything else an addiction. You have to let your wounds heal. But keep pickup for a year or 2 it is great to build social skills etc, but after a while you have to let it go.

    A book that I recommend is: Louise Hay - You can heal your life. It comes down to kind of the same conclusion as my addiction books. But it is very practical.

    Conclusion:
    Ask questions, dig deep, and let your wounds heal!

    Anyway, you are doing very well! Keep up the good work.
    Thomas
     
  8. Jamall

    Jamall Fapstronaut

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    Wow thank you for that amazing speech vibe maker. This is 6 day without M and I am so happy. I will do the cold shower and the push ups if I get tempted. I'm not going to be afraid of the test. I know that I can win. You guys have given me some tools to win if I get tempted.

    Thanks for the talk about rejection as well. I'm going to try dating again when the time is right. I still want to get married.

    Thank you for that encouragement. I really appreciate that. I'm not scared of the night anymore. Peace and blessings to you my brother.
     
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  9. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear it got worse for you in the first 90 days. I think that's probably because we get in touch with the world again after numbing ourselfes for so long. And with that comes experiencing intense emotions that can be quite overwhelming, after losing this fake place for security called PMO. For me the real magic started about after 100 days I think. Stay strong! It's hard, but it's the only way out of this.

    You have been a great inspiration to me @Strength And Light ! I thank you as well and it's great to see you on the way to the 300 days!

    Thanks brother! We will fight out of this!

    Thanks! I also tended to skip food to smoke weed and watch porn. It's a part of this journey to learn to get in touch with ourselfes and feel what our bodies really need and be good to them. Keep going! Don't forget that you won't lose all your progess when you reset 1 time. I experienced I recover pretty fast when I don't binge after a reset.

    Hey Pichael, I think it's because you're now leaving this state of trance, caused by PMO. You experience all this emotions and chaos of the world. But you'll get used to this. And when you're used to this, than life starts again! Stay strong! I had break through moments about every 30 days. Usually after the most intense urges I experienced the best benefits!

    Thank you! The clarity comes back. It's just a matter of time until the brain fog starts to lift. Video games, TV and all these instant gratification cause brain fog. And porn gives you the worst brain fog. Congrats on Day 30, that's amazing! It just get's better from there.

    Hey Thomas, thank you! I totally agree with you on that diggin deep. I think the most who fail aren't aware of why they feel in the need of PMO in the moment of relapse. On my first streak I wrote a lot of stuff in a book I bought especially for NoFap and my self-development. That's why I came so far. The next streaks weren't that successful, because I just wanted to rush back and beat my old streak, without trying to push more and learn more.

    Your post really made me thinking and I wrote a list of my biggest triggers once again and why I still returned to porn in the last months.

    I know one of the reasons why I got addicted to porn is this state of trance it gives me. I can get into the victim role and I can take off all the responsibilties for myself and get an instant graticifaction for not doing anything challenging. This is possibly because I still think sometimes I'm not good enough. And this need for sex or the attention of women to feel complete/manly. And this is when my demons of self-destruction kick in.

    I think I experienced a lot of traums in my childhood. I got rejected a lot of my dad and always had to put on masks to be labeled as 'good'. I wrote about this in my first success story here called 'Opening the window'. Maybe you want to look it up. Would be interessting to hear your thoughts on this.

    I worked this all up pretty much and I think now it's time to move on and rather clear my subconscious to get out of old behaviours and thinking patterns.

    I also read this book called 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' where there are mentioned some points why we suffer and this is pretty much true. It says we suffer because:
    -We try to avoid new things.
    -We hold on to the old-familiar.
    -We procastinate, avoid or not end things we started.
    -We make difficult situations even worse, because we stick to old behaviours, even when they didn't work out in the past. (This one fits perfectly to porn use because of bad feeling for example)
    -We use so much energy to try to contol things that are out of our control.

    But in the last months I feel like I'm getting out of this. And I think I made pretty much progress for 'just' 10 months.

    On your thoughts to pick up. I personally hate the term pick up. To me this goes in line with trying to get women with performance or manipulation, without being yourself. I just approach women, when I'm really interessted in meeting them or feel that there might be a connection.
    I think I get what you mean with the validation thing. I think especially using dating apps can be quite frustrating and triggering. We need to be careful to not let this influence our self-esteem.


    Hey Jamall, thank you very much! You're right! You can win and you will my friend! Peace & Stay free!


    Once again thank you all for your responses and support! It really encourages me a lot to go further!

    Have a nice day guys!
     
  10. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight Fapstronaut

    Awesome story man, I can relate the most points you told.

    Really motivating as well!

    My short addition: I also did a cold approach 3 weeks ago, and I approached, without thinking, a really attractive girl and afterwards I felt horrible that I simply walked away and that it was me who ended the conversation. Normally girls and the conversation, but she kept going, and it was me who ended it, and I can tell you, that hurts 100000x more than rejection because of the "what if" scenarios.

    But I did great for the first time every in life, my first cold approach ever. After that, my life changed. I know that I can do it, I simply know that victory will be mine. Chances will come, and we have to be ready to pick them up, therefore saving our semen to improve our life in general. No chance to PMO!

    Victory shall be ours!
     
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  11. ThomasV

    ThomasV Fapstronaut

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    Great self-awareness my friend! And I think understand everything that I said, you also have practiced some things. Keep it up, see you at day 50 soon!

    Keep it up brother.
    Thomas
     
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  12. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing such an inspirational point of view! Particularly, I also have some troubles
    on the issue about "the approach moment", especially in parties or clubs. The fear of rejection is always there, blocking the way to more spontaneous and relaxed moods. Now I can see clearly how these attitudes and the PMO addiction are very closely rellated, I suppose in many cases beyond mine. It's nice to realize this is a process of improvement and self-development, and all the trash that came from years of PMO need some time to get out and clear the path.
    Again, thanks for the encouraging words and keep up the good work! See ya
     
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  13. FindingAName

    FindingAName Banned User

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    women are not amazing and mediation is bs, push ups i can do {anyone can} and cold showers? huh? how does that work?
     
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  14. Congrats my dude, really good post!!
    "Porn induced social anxiety" that's something I haven't thought about.. makes a lot of sense tho.
     
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  15. perseverence24

    perseverence24 Fapstronaut

    Thanks for that motivating post. In just two weeks in but im fighting for that vission of my future self. Congrats on your 10 month marker.
     
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  16. @betterlife

    @betterlife New Fapstronaut

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    Motivation at its finest thanks for sharing I needed to hear a good success story tonight!
     
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  17. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for your support guys! I wouldn't be where I am today without this great community!

    Wish you the best!
     
  18. tarique anwar

    tarique anwar New Fapstronaut

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    Great post ...I also suffer from bad habit of pmo I want to overcome it..
     
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  19. Ali613

    Ali613 Fapstronaut

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    Oh man I'm on my day 14th and I have been consistently experiencing panic attacks between day 10-13. Heavy anxiety in the morning follow by panic attack and this morning I will experienced heavy anxiety but no panic attack .

    I'Ve been through a lot of rejection and abuse verbally from my father .

    So I used Porn and MO as a way out . Little did I know this is the root cause of my anxiety and panic attacks .

    I am willing to go the extra mile , I am willing to do whatever it takes to get back to normal .
     
  20. good
     
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