Hey guys I'm 24M and for my entire life I've lived with the idea that I am a straight dude. I've been in a very loving relationship with my gf for 3 and a half years now and I have been into PMO for a very long time now. First time I started i was 8 y/o. Since I was 18 or so I watched gay porn for the first time. For the first few years it didn't really bother me. I've never found dudes attractive and even though I've always been able to tell that a man could look good I have never had sexual thoughts with or about a man. 7 months ago I watched gay p and in it the top dude was obviously way more masculine and dominant than the bottom man and here my problems begin. In that moment I felt like for the first time I did not identify with the one doing the fucking but with the person being fucked the biggest problem is the arousal that it brings me. I always used to think that I was a bit weird. In highschool when the other boys would be going crazy for chicks I never really clicked on that. I did have some crushes but never really pursued any girls or even had a gf until my 20s. And at this point I am struggling with trying to figure out what is real or not. I am on a 7 day streak now of no PM but my anxiety is still there. I do believe that i have some form of OCD since it often happens to me to be obsessed with an idea that I may be sick and that goes on for months on end but I do not know if I have HOCD or am I a closeted bisexual cause I know I am not gay. I cannot understand if P has warped my view on reality or if I'm lying to myself.