Ashamed of my behavior

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ResistAndRecover, Jul 25, 2019.

  1. ResistAndRecover

    ResistAndRecover Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday was a new low for me. I found out an actress I liked had gotten out of the industry because she was on drugs. I watched an interview where she talked about all the abuse she suffered when she was young, her fear that nobody could ever really love her, and how that propelled her into the industry. I watched all of that, and instead of feeling sorrow for my past actions and compassion for her, I watched her old videos anyway. Today though, after the fog, I just feel like the worst human being possible.
     
  2. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    Do you have a link to the interview? Good to share so that others know the reality of the industry.

    We've all been there my friend. Don't beat yourself up. Instead I would recommend immersing yourself in the realities of what porn does to people.
     
    Vince T likes this.
  3. Do not wallow in shame.
    I think shame is one way the porn addiction allows us to feel we are real sorry and won't do it again.
    Get angry. Get serious. But tell your addiction to go fuck itself and resolve to do better.
    You aren't the worst human being in the world.
    That honor goes to my asshole brother in law.
    You can do this.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  4. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Remember the thing about the two wolves. The part of you that got off to it is pretty low, but there's obviously another part that recognizes it for what it is.

    Curve ball: There needs to be a third part. Since this is possible you need to consider practicalities like reading such an interview instead of watching her image or maybe even listening to the audio.
     
    ResistAndRecover likes this.
  5. ResistAndRecover

    ResistAndRecover Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I wonder how it would've changed my reaction to read it. I would've been confronted with just the truth of her words, not the image of her body.

    She said at one point, "Am I just a body?" And I thought that this was exactly how I was treating her.
     
  6. ThreeEyedFish

    ThreeEyedFish Fapstronaut

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    Could you send me this interview?
     
  7. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    This is the danger and destruction porn does to the mind. Let this be a lesson to you
     

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