Asking her to be my girlfriend (trigger warning), journal

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by NF SINCE BIRTH, Oct 19, 2020.

  1. So heartbroken today. I applied maximum pressure today. The conversation went something like " I am meeting a girl friend on friday in your town." She asked who is she? I answered that she has a boyfriend which she replied "what do that have with the topic to do?" " I answered maybe you would get jealous.

    She answered: What do you mean by that? Arent we just friends?

    I then said: I want to take you to a Halloween date on saturday. Is that a no?

    She answered: yesyes anything interesting happening?

    I answered: You are a nice friend and all but I want you on a date on saturday. I will let you think until Thursday.

    So my plan is completely radio silence until at least Wednesday then call her and ask her to take a walk in the park on friday night. I know exactly what to do. My creativity is going wild because of nofap. I will put her hands on me and ask her how it feels. I will ask her some serious questions, I will touch her in more intimate ways. Maybe even kiss her. If it all turns south then I am cutting her off by saturday. I cant be just friends with her.
     
    JustaSimpleMan1 likes this.
  2. You sound desperate. I could be wrong.

    You also sound like it’s all or nothing.

    You applied ‘maximum pressure’. What the? I mean what are you after apart from sex? Again, I may be misreading you and have it wrong. If I am, don’t listen to me.

    She’s someone’s daughter. If she were my daughter I would hope to hell that you or any other guy wanting to date her would show her the utmost respect. Respect her freedom of choice. Respect her body. Respect her mind and perspectives. Advancing to the next level is a mutual decision.

    When you say you’re cutting her off if it all turns south says more about you. Just saying it how I see/hear it. But like I said before, I may have interpreted what you wrote all wrong.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2020
  3. I see what you are saying but cutting her off is for my own sake. I will be honest with her about why. It is because I cant handle being with a girl I have feelings for that doesn't feel the same way back. So I need a breather if she turns me down as a boyfriend. I will return at a later point when I feel like we can just be friends because she has been a really nice friend recently.

    And the sex part inst the main goal here. If it was up to me I would just enjoy every single moment with her in a proper relationship with all that has to offer.

    And I am hurting because I dont think she is feeling the same way back. I know she did at some point but that spark died out because of Covid. Now she isnt feeling it the same way is my theory. I will try to have a proper and honest talk with her both over the phone and in person. If we are still not on the same page and she wont date me then I will have to cut her off for a month or two by Saturday to get my mind in the right place again
     
    JustaSimpleMan1 likes this.
  4. voodoouwu

    voodoouwu New Fapstronaut

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    Man I relate so much with you rn I have been readin all of your threads and all. I too liked a girl she too did like me we both talked for hours on call,text we had deep convos and all and I had plans of going out with her during Spring but that's when COVID hit and she kinda seems to have lost interest in me IDK why did it happen I texted her but she would reply with dry ass texts.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  5. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Of course she look at you as just a friend. You give her all the reasons to see you as a friend by no making a move on her and all the reasons I pointed out to you in previous posts. You acted weak, you were the nice guy to her so she decided to put you in friendzone. That's text book of woman behavior.
    Never ever tell a girl you like that she is a friend. Tell her that you appreciate her, that you think she gorgeous but you just can't be with her as just friends, that you see her ass something more than that.
    That why you have to tell her that if she is not willing to go out on a date with you romantically then you should stop talking to each other, and that she is free to contact you if she changes her mind in the future and want to go out on a romantic date with you.
    That's when you walk away an don't contact her again. If she never contact you to date you are not going to speak again as long as you have the most microscopic feeling for her.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Thanks for reading :) Yea, texting isnt really a good way of communicating. Better to meet in person or on the phone. For me this isnt completely over. The guy over here says I am in the friend zone. It is true but I am doing all the things I can to win her over. I was weak and naive. Thank PMO and me mistaking her for being insecure for that. Now I have a much clearer mind. I will give her up on saturday. I give my word on that. But if I get any action before that then it was very much worth it.

    I havent messaged her in 24 hours now. I wont in a couple more days. She is checking her whatsapp quite often know. I know she installed it because of me so maybe she is getting a little nervous that I wont call her at all. Anyways, meeting Julia on tuesday. Maybe she can help me out by showing me some make out techniques lol.

    Its not the end of the world if Icy rejects me. All of these emotions I am feeling are just an illusion. I have dates set up with pretty girls all over the place so if Icy rejects me I am going to hurt for maybe a few weeks, find a new girl and move on.
     
    JustaSimpleMan1 likes this.
  7. voodoouwu

    voodoouwu New Fapstronaut

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    Damn man this has been a sort of a rollercoaster ride not gonna lie but whatever happens it will happen for your good so don't worry too much!
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  8. rob13_

    rob13_ Fapstronaut

    Holy shit this thread is a ride
     
  9. ThomasTheCat

    ThomasTheCat Fapstronaut

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  10. If you had communicated in your way of being, expressing yourself, looking at her that you wanted more with her, something would have happened with this girl much sooner.
    Girls don't forgive a guy for not taking the risk. I can't tell you how many dates I've failed because I didn't kiss the girl at the end of the first date. And the ones I did manage to see again without kissing them turned out to be girls who were uncomfortable with their sexuality.
    And we don't want that, we want girls who LOVE sex and have no problem showing their desire.
    Personally, if I don't kiss a girl to the max at the end of the second date I know that in most cases she will see me as a friend. Because I acted like a friend.
    And if she doesn't see me as a friend then she is a girl who has very little self-confidence and I won't want to see her again. Or as a friend.

    It's our role, it's up to us guys to bring intense emotions to girls. They won't do it for us.

    Now you're just wasting your time with a girl you've been seeing for over a month wondering how you're going to make her understand that you want more. You've been seeing her regularly for over a month. That's too much.
    Changing your intentions is too late for me and even if you do it, it doesn't make you look like a guy who has a lot of choices in his life.

    Communicating something non-verbally is much more powerful than revealing it all to that girl. What image does it bring back to you? You are giving this girl a choice to accept or refuse. It's no longer a game but something serious and desperate.
    We don't ask a girl to be our girlfriend. It's stupid. We're passing it on in emotions and subtlety. And then we take the risk.

    You have to work on yourself to assert yourself and let go of that image of a nice guy that you want to project. I've seen these traits in so many guys. I was one too. And the first step is to be honest with yourself and look at how you behave every day with girls.
    Overcome your fears, get rejected, learn, go talk to girls in real life and there you will come out of your illusions and you will see reality as it is.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 27, 2020
  11. unnamed friend

    unnamed friend Fapstronaut

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  12. This is typically the behavior of a nice guy... Nice guys are afraid to show and communicate what they really want and their emotions. That's why it's very difficult for them to communicate to a girl they want more.

    The real work has to be done inside. By learning to be honest with themselves. Even if it hurts and we have to realize things about ourselves that will hurt us. It's a mandatory step.
    But very few guys dare to do this work because it's first of all plunging into hell to get to heaven.
    I have done this work I have been approaching girls every day for 3 years in the street, in stores, groups of girls, mothers with their daughters, in nightclubs without drinking alcohol.

    It is a long term work. But it is the price to pay to get out of this illusion and the wrong beliefs that we have accumulated over the years.
     
  13. Sc8r51o1n

    Sc8r51o1n Fapstronaut

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    In the name of science, how does that story ends? Also good luck in everything mate!
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  14. It havent ended yet but I am doing no contact atm. I dont really need to. She kinda asked me on some dates. But im using the pandemic as an excuse. We cant meet atm anyways. Country on full lock down.

    I feel better about myself for each passing day and I have done some thinking. I want to keep her as a friend.

    But I realize I have so many better options. She is maybe the best friend I can ask for but I confused it with girlfriend for a moment.

    I have been on several dates, my ex is visiting next week, I have met with a crush from years back and she paid me dinner at a fancy place, I am going for an ice bath with some friends on Sunday. The prettiest girl I know agreed to meet when the lock down is over. I am also meeting another 10 girl friends or so after Christmas.

    I am working out, learning Spanish, trying to play the guitar and learn singing. I am pretty rich atm. Thats a first in my life. I havent told many but im eyeing up that Aventador and penthouse soon (1-2 years) and a huge aquarium.

    I took a 250 dollar haircut, shaved, bought fancy clothes and cologne. I am re-inventing myself right now.

    Day 36 btw.
     
    Sc8r51o1n likes this.
  15. And btw: Got six messages from Icy recently with terrible sweater suggestions. So I told her I will bring my friend which is a model and got a real fashion sense to help us out some day. I have just kept it hanging. This friend will help us out. I need her help in choosing fancy stuff so two birds with one stone. She is my sisters best friend.
     
  16. unnamed friend

    unnamed friend Fapstronaut

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    What are you doing m8? If he looks better than you then chances are that she will ditch you in favor of your friend.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  17. Lol its a she not "he" so no problem there. At this point im not expecting anything from her and I havent contacted her in 5 days. I will eventually tell her what im up to and that I changed my mind about dating her. She can still be my friend but if she wants to be my friend she needs to stop ghosting me or im calling it quits.
     
  18. And well, friends is probably better. I wont ever end up in a relationship with her. I am confident in my masculinity though so if anything happens then I will still call us friends. If she wants to be friends she has to be okay with me treating her like I would any other girl. And I will tell her about all my exes and dates and what not.
     
  19. Too bad my self confidence came back so strong after she friend zoned me. I feel like I can conquer the world. But I also realized that she has too many issues for me to have a serious relationship with her.
     
  20. Well, looks like all you needed was some time to come back to reality and realize if she was truly the one. ¡Que todo te vaya bien con lo que queda!
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.

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